Yep, the British roads are filled with numpties...

[MinionZombie]

*sigh*

Was out driving yesterday, on my way back into my town there were two skittery tarts staggering about on the opposite pavement, and as I'm coming down the road one of them runs across in front of me, then doesn't stand on the pavement, but on the road as I pass, then she staggers back over to her skittery tart mate - WHY? ... and F*CK OFF YA DAFT BINT! :mad:

But the main one was coming out of Hereford, there was a group of learner motorcyclists being tested, so I was overtaking (as were the cars behind me), anyway, it's a road with two lanes the way I was going, and one going the other way for a short stint going up the hill. Anyway, by the time I'm done overtaking there's barely any dual-lane left, but this utter wanker in a black Mercedes coupe comes tearing up past me (he'd been sat on my ass up the hill) and then cuts me off like a total dildo. I flash my lights, swear vigorously and shake my flipped bird (this was after shaking the "wanker" symbol at him just as he cut me off - which is a retarded move, if he hits me it's more his trouble as his car is a damn sight more expensive).

Anyway, he goes ahead of me a little for the last bit of the hill at least 10 miles over the speed limit (which I was sticking to), but then all of a sudden he slams on his breaks hard. This guy mustn't have been paying attention as it was sharp breaking (either that or he was breaking according to his breaks and not the legal distance to leave - which allows for all cars of varying breaking capabilities).

Anyway, as he's slammed on his breaks I'm doing some serious "OH SH*T!" breaking, foot slammed into the floor, arms stretched out, head buried in the headrest, you know the look. I come up short behind him and avoid ploughing into him (thankfully), but the van behind me has to swerve into the red area between lanes (if a truck had been coming the van would have been wiped out most likely). F*ck it pissed me off, endless flashing and swearing and shaking gestures ... it was one of those times when you go "if only I knew where the horn was on this car!"

But get this, this prick in the Merc overtakes me a mere 100 metres away from the left turning he was going to take anyway - NOW THAT IS THE DEFINITION OF A WANKER, hardly surprising from someone who'd buy that car though. That's what really, really pissed me off, he just couldn't bare to sit behind a Euro-box for just a little bit longer, a mere 100 metres ... what a complete penis. :mad:

I hope someone steals his car and ploughs it into a pile of manure. :mad:

[_liam_]

do you live out in the country?

people CANNOT DRIVE out here. every single time you go out you see something stupid, i nearly got run over TWICE today, through no fault of my own.

i think something is wrong with the driving test maybe, or perhaps it's the instructors. i know total goons who dont know their arse from their elbow an drive like twats pass first time, and really sharp, good drivers who had to retake the test again and again. something is definitely wrong here...

[Chic Freak]

... it was one of those times when you go "if only I knew where the horn was on this car!"

Haha. I can never find the horn when I want it. It only seems to turn up when I'm trying to flash my lights/ switch the wipers off/ etc.

[MinionZombie]

You haven't heard of Hereford?! FORSHAME! :lol: j/k ... and it's not in Wales, despite the common misconception. :D

Anyway, yeah, I live in the cun'ree...and yes, there is some UTTERLY RETARDED DRIVING in these parts. I noticed driving was much better when I was at uni in Norwich, then out on the roads around abouts here ... damn ... there's some complete moronic-mega-numpties out there...

I'm not saying I haven't done the odd bit of dodgy driving when my temper's gotten a bit out of hand behind the wheel, but nothing proper bad.

Aye I failed the first time (was intimidated out of the arena by this fat, stinking Welshman), passed the second time when I had an affable gent who puts people at ease...but then again, there's a conspiracy going on in the testing field. I got word from a mate who's a nerd for V8 engines and all things car related and he said that (if memory serves) each examiner has 5 tests in a day, and of those 5, only TWO are allowed to PASS, the other three MUST be failed (unless it's really impossible to fail them). So first timers almost always get the intimidating bastards to put them off - and that happened with me.

I asked my driving instructor about this, and he ... in a hush-hush, looking over his back manner ... flat out said it was true and expressed his disgust with that aspect of the system...hardly surprising though, two or more tests means more money.

The numpty drivers who get by on 1 test are just jammy as they're one of those two per day ... mind you, karma usually comes along and crashes them into a wall or a ditch soon after.

It's a corrupt system my man, it's all about numbers and money, rather than the true skill of the driver. The week before I failed I scored 3 little minors away from a perfect test, the first test I had 5 or 6 minors and at least 2 majors, the bastard even grabbed my damn steering wheel to completely rape my confidence - and I was BLATANTLY nowhere near hitting the wing mirror of that mini! :mad: I wouldn't mind bopping him on the nose ... bastard.

F*ck it was a relief when I passed though...then I could relax and drive how I felt comfortable, none of this 10-to-2 rubbish, nor the 'doublay-wanker' wheel shifting (as I like to call it) ... palm of your hand rotation, mate - BOSH. :cool:

And, against what the nutters would have you believe, since watching the new version of Top Gear, my driving and car control has improved thanks to the odd tip dished out here and there, the main one being how to properly take a corner.

[CornishCorpse]

Watch yer mouf bout the south boi, damn notherners thinkin they can jus rule the road. You best go back the way you came : Cocks shotgun :

[MinionZombie]

Watch yer mouf bout the south boi, damn notherners thinkin they can jus rule the road. You best go back the way you came : Cocks shotgun :
What you on about? :confused:

I wasn't driving like an ass, the dickhead in the mercedes was! :stunned:

And that stinking Welsh tester was an insult to the nation of Wales...much like Gordon Brown is a stinking insult to the Scottish.

[CornishCorpse]

Lol I didnt say that, I was commenting on Liams comment about southern drivers and reminising about deliverance, deep breaths.

[MinionZombie]

Lol I didnt say that, I was commenting on Liams comment about southern drivers and reminising about deliverance, deep breaths.
Ohhhhh...:p

Well there's sh*t drivers everywhere, but more in the countryside it seems...and speaking of sh*t drivers, they come in both sexes ... all that Sheila's Wheels garbage nonsense can piss off, it's blatantly discrimination.

[CornishCorpse]

Personally I belive youre right but in psychology we studied the male and female brain and females are more equipt to be better drivers wether they are or not is up for debate, another thread perhaps.

Drivers down in these parts arent that bad its when the tourist season comes that I have to do action rolls ( well they seem like action rolls in my head in reality its generally throwing myself into a bush )

[MinionZombie]

Male drivers are probably more likely going to get angered over something, and perhaps have their driving affected by it (to what degree is a whole other issue though, you can drive while angry, but remain safe after all).

However, women don't have the spacial awareness ability that men do, so that's why the old classic of women not being able to park is technically true. It's a proven fact, men have the spacial awareness, but are easier to anger ... and at least when a young'un ... easily led to put their foot down.

Women are calmer, but don't have the spacial awareness abilities to match the male driving sector of society.

It comes down to personal confidence as well, driving at high motorway speeds and having confidence and spacial awareness is a good combination.

I personally drive confidently, I get where I need to go, but I don't do it in a risky manner, I don't put others at risk, or at least try my ruddy best to stay out of such situations. I have good spacial awareness, so I'll often find myself dropping the old chestnut of "you could get a bloody bus through there, love!" :lol: ... and you actually could ... or at least the bloody car in front of me anyway! :lol:

There's good female drivers and there's good male drivers, but this whole Sheila's Wheels thing is flat out discrimination, but it's "positive discrimination" so it's let go, which is complete and utter PC bullsh*t crap.

In the end of the day, gender has nothing to do with whether you're ultimately a good driver or not, each side has potential strengths and weaknesses, including the spacial awareness thing. Some girls will have better skills at that than other girls, and some lads might be f*cking useless at it, while others are very good at it (I personally am sorted when it comes to such things, as well as being a confident driver - in control of the vehicle).

At a final note, notice how in the Sheila's Wheels advert that they're not wearing seatbelts and are hanging out of an open-topped vehicle waving about like drunkards ... at times the car is even seen to be driving backwards up the road while they're facing us wavering around. :lol:

[fartpants]

totally crap advert ( but i'd give it to the blonde one in the middle ):lol: :lol:

[Tricky]

totally crap advert ( but i'd give it to the blonde one in the middle ):lol: :lol:

:lol: aye she'd blatently get bummed!

[Chic Freak]

...and speaking of sh*t drivers, they come in both sexes ... all that Sheila's Wheels garbage nonsense can piss off, it's blatantly discrimination.


There's good female drivers and there's good male drivers, but this whole Sheila's Wheels thing is flat out discrimination, but it's "positive discrimination" so it's let go, which is complete and utter PC bullsh*t crap.

It's nothing to do with political correctness, it's just an insurance company making money out of the fact that women tend to claim less on their insurance than men. Whether women claim less because they are "better" drivers (however you define "better") is still open to debate of course.

But Sheila's Wheels/ Diamond etc are only "discriminating" against people who claim more on their car insurance. It's not like they were set up to provide a charitable service for crap female drivers.

[MinionZombie]

*digs in*

I don't see a "careful male drivers only" insurance company anywhere around...:shifty: I'm a careful male driver, but I get discriminated against because of the bad eggs who spoil the batch ... that's at least stereotyping, and it's discrimination through stereotyping...:sneaky:

Ergo, I'm still gripping onto my discrimination placard... :shifty::sneaky::p:)

*marches around in one-man protest ... any other chaps wanna join in ... ??? ... I've got Lad's Mags ... fresh from WHSmith ...* :D

[Dommm]

picks up picket

[MissJacksonCA]

In Canada people in the country areas aren't able to drive either. Granted, they're not tooling about in MBz's they're driving red neck mobiles but still... they're driving down the old Trans Canada which only has one lane on each side and twists and turns more than the average amusement park ride and what do they do? They take soft turns by driving in the opposite lane to ease the amount of turning they have to do, regardless of oncoming traffic. And they stop flat out in the middle of the road when they see a deer they want to shoot. As if that wasn't annoying enough they also drive way too fast on the gravel residential roads and chuck rocks every which way onto any car thats parked by the road. Really frustrates me!

I haven't driven in any other countries besides Mexico, the US, and Canada but for the most part I only actually experience road rage in the US. I know where my horn is only when it does me no good. And I'm not above the occasional hand signal to my fellow motorists to let them know how they're driving but I feel my driving is quite good. What I can't stand is driving in places heavily populated by seniors like Laguna Woods and Leisure World. Or driving up through Wisconcin and Minnesota... damn old people are always up there driving slow in the left lane and then you have people towing RVs and boats and they dont know what the heck they're doing!

If they had a decent bus system here I'd prolly quit driving altogether but it seems that taking the bus here is a full time job in itself.

[Dommm]

*digs in*


*marches around in one-man protest ... any other chaps wanna join in ... ??? ... I've got Lad's Mags ... fresh from WHSmith ...* :D

Wheres my lads mag :mad:

[MinionZombie]

Wheres my lads mag :mad:
They're in the post. :p:sneaky:

[fartpants]

porn for placards... i like it

[DVW5150]

I have a basic understanding that the vehicles run opposite the USers twit types that will run ya down ...
If you obey the speed limit(35=37-40 40=46) , abou5-6 over in right conditions.
Y chromos w/ their power p/u trucks and loud little zipperhead wanna beamers no indicators 55 in a bloody 30 stretch... (secret:A 410 shot gun can be your friend someday.)
Yes thats me, arriving to my destination with no damage to my vehicle.
While someone didn't realize using public road ways takes a bit of self control.

"There are no accidents ," my driver ed teacher told my high school class,"..there are collisions, accidents only happen in your pants."
Meaning that there was something that could have been done by either of the driver(s) that could've prevented the incident. ie too fast , over-running of headlight distance, following too close... Oh sorry ...Stupid American fru*ing drivitive cacking trits git noodby friggin turds that are downright dangerous.
Driving defensively will save your life(s).NO KIDDING>
Agro drivers think thats its a car commercial , where theres no other motorists on the road.
If I have to drive like a fast ass kicker I can , and hopefully w/ out damage.

There is no re-start button assh*le.