Breaking Point - My little 5 min film for school.

[Khardis]

A little film I did for school, looking for honest opinions here. But be constructive please.


Also. I want to address beforehand that I know my audio is a little sloppy, our Boom mice went AWOL for the project and I had ot use the camera mic X_X

anyway here ya go.
A little film I did for school, looking for honest opinions here. But be constructive please.


Also. I want to address beforehand that I know my audio is a little sloppy, our Boom mice went AWOL for the project and I had ot use the camera mic X_X

anyway here ya go.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U-UcCu2ahf8

Oh yeah and its also hosted on my website

http://www.tentoseven.com

We also have some comedy stuff you may want to check out and comment on :D

[Danny]

heres the embed

U-UcCu2ahf8

i think it started stronger than it finished, lighting and editing and music were above the "guy who just happens to have a camera" standard, i think the monologue needed a little work ,it was believable till he said something along the lines of "and i wanted to punch off his mouth" then he goes and shoots a dude with HIV and smokes a cigar, it all seemed a bit like a comedy sketch from jam or something.

[Khardis]

heres the embed

U-UcCu2ahf8

i think it started stronger than it finished, lighting and editing and music were above the "guy who just happens to have a camera" standard, i think the monologue needed a little work ,it was believable till he said something along the lines of "and i wanted to punch off his mouth" then he goes and shoots a dude with HIV and smokes a cigar, it all seemed a bit like a comedy sketch from jam or something.

So youre trying to say you think it should be longer and more stretched out? I agree with that if thats what youre saying... There is a lot of story there but not enough time to put in a lot of exposition. Blame the constraints of the project for that though ( 5 minute max). I should probably cut together the longer version which would run about 12 minutes.

And you're right the VO was kinda bleh... I've hated it since I put it in, but time constraints really forced my hand. I should redo that audio.

[capncnut]

I think it worked well, it definitely started out interesting. Had a few cool ideas. However it was when I heard the golden words...


"and i wanted to punch off his mouth"
Actually that was "break his mouth" and I agree, one or two bits in the narration were a bit rough.

Other than that, I really had no problem with it. :cool:

[Khardis]

I think it worked well, it definitely started out interesting. Had a few cool ideas. However it was when I heard the golden words...


Actually that was "break his mouth" and I agree, one or two bits in the narration were a bit rough.

Other than that, I really had no problem with it. :cool:

Argh it must be a regional thing... everyone around these parts talks like that :P thats surely coming out then.