Need an excuse to get out of work?

[MissJacksonCA]

1. Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.

2. A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.

3. Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.

4. Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and that no one was around to let him out.

5. Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.

6. Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.

7. One of the walls in the employee's home fell off the night before.

8. Employee's mother was in jail.

9. A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.

10. Employee had a bad case of hiccups.

11. Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.

12. Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.

13. Employee was hit by a bus while walking.

14. Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.

15. Employee was sad.

Those are funny but personally from my experience as a manager at one point in past was when this girl told me she couldn't come into work because she was having morning sickness... it just happened to come in the day after she told everyone she found out she was pregnant so I was skeptical... I fired her of course I have no tolerance for that crap

Anyone have a good excuse to get out of work?

I never really play hookey from work only from school...

[EvilNed]

- Employee was assaulted by ravaging mongol hordes. Doctor advises he stays inside for the duration of the week.

[MissJacksonCA]

I did call work to say i'd be late because I just rescued a man from the sharp teeth of a doberman that escaped his yard and attacked him. But I was late and eventually sent home because I had some seriously sweet scar action going on!

[darth los]

How many times can you use the excuse of a loved one passing away before it's no longer believable?:confused:

[MissJacksonCA]

I remember someone telling me their dad died three times. Not like... 'my dad died three times' but using that as their personal excuse for not showing up at work. Ironic that her dad was her in case of emergency number...

I like people whose family members die every time a holiday comes up

[DeadJonas190]

I had somebody call into the Dairy Queen I am a manager at because it was "Too hot outside to work." I told her to come in or she didn't have a job.

The next day she didnt have a job. Simple as that.

[fartpants]

women have the perfect excuse in p.m.t as most bosses are male and are too embarassed to dispute a women using this excuse...

[DjfunkmasterG]

Well I am the type of dick who would mark the calendar

So & so called off with PMS on this day, so it better be 28 ****ing days before she does it again.

[MissJacksonCA]

I remember when we opened up a brand new restaurant and this girl Michelle came up to the hostesses in front of one of the owners and said not to seat her for a few minutes she had something she had to take care of... the owner went up to her and was like wtf? she was like i'm bleeding allover myself i need a minute lol... she said it with much more vulgarity though and of course was fired

I pretty much would fire anyone who tried to give me that excuse even though I know how painful that can be I'm sure there's a ton of chicks who abuse the privilege of being able to call in with that. Funnily enough... I've had one job in my entire life where no one ever called in... they liked their job that much no one ever claimed a sick day... I gotta move back to canada damn

[darth los]

Well I am the type of dick who would mark the calendar

So & so called off with PMS on this day, so it better be 28 ****ing days before she does it again.



That's why you're the fu**ing man dude. *feverishly taking notes* And why is it being a dick? That's the problem, too many guys are afraid to call females on their bullsh*t and they consistently get away with murder.





I pretty much would fire anyone who tried to give me that excuse even though I know how painful that can be I'm sure there's a ton of chicks who abuse the privilege of being able to call in with that. Funnily enough... I've had one job in my entire life where no one ever called in... they liked their job that much no one ever claimed a sick day... I gotta move back to canada damn


Life's experience tells us that if there's a chance people can get over they probably will try like hell to do so.

[fartpants]

women, you've gotta love em...:mad: :mad: :mad:

[darth los]

Can't live with em'....

[fartpants]

Can't live with em'....

cant kill em and bury the body either...:mad: :mad:

[darth los]

Don't let the feminazis hear you... :confused:

[MissJacksonCA]

You can bury the body but how many times do I have to say it? Use lye people! Boil the flesh off the bones. And then take a mallet to the bones and smash them to smitherines. Once thats done drive to Louisiana ... find a swamp... and bury them. Orrrr drive along highway 1 in California and toss 'em over a cliff. Orrr drive through Wyoming... find a patch of land... dig n bury

[darth los]

You've really thought this out ,huh? lol:rolleyes:

[Marie]

cant kill em and bury the body either...:mad: :mad:

Easier to kill a guy, they sleep deeper and the courts sometimes are soft on a woman if she looks like she's been abused.:evil:

M_

[darth los]

so much for the fight against gender discrimination.:rolleyes:

[Cody]

so much for the fight against gender discrimination.:rolleyes:

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[MissJacksonCA]

lets just say what you said about women goes for men too :p

[darth los]

You know, even with all the sh*t i talked in this thread (tounge in cheek of course) I find that's if it's at all practical, things go much smoother overall if the woman is allowed to have her way. There's a saying that goes: "A happy wife= a happy life !!" :D So yes M.J, whatever you say.:p

[MissJacksonCA]

Its true... if your wife isn't happy she knows just how to make your life a living hell... she is after all... a woman lol :lol:

[darth los]

nobody does it better, huh? lol You guys got the market cornered on inflicting pain. Especially the emotional/mental kind.:eek:

[MikePizzoff]

"I was out drinking late last night."

That's usually my excuse. My boss is laid back so it works.

[MissJacksonCA]

its not like men dont inflict emotional pain they just dont know how to control that power and use it to their advantage yet...

Its kinda like that Seinfeld episode when George discovers that by crying he not only gets his way but of course after a fight and after a cry fest there's makeup nookie lol

[darth los]

makeup nookie lol

I'll borrow a line from War of the Roses: "Is there any other way?":confused:
I often start fights in anticipation of what's to come. :elol: