For the marrieds...

[MissJacksonCA]

Just curious because I dont know a lot (or any personally) married people... my bfs best friend spends every Saturday at his local bar by himself... his wife is generally not allowed to go its like 'his time' but he spends his entire time there flirting with every girl in the joint (it doesn't hurt he's smokin hot) and I'm just curious... is that the usual among married men?

I'm not suggesting men dont deserve their own special time but to spend it doing everything short of the hibbidy dibbidy is kinda obscene IMO

[darth los]

Alot of ugly things go on in a marriage. People have needs and it's next to impossible to go10, 20, 30 years with the same person day in and day out.

[MissJacksonCA]

then why even get married?

[darth los]

That my dear is the 64 dollar question. I could tell you the legal basis for it and why it's in the gov'ts interests that we do. But as far as why people choose to: who knows. Have you ever seen married people, they're miserable. Lookat a married man who's been with his wife for 20, 30 years. He looks finished. It's life a piece of him died years ago. it's sad really. I do know this though. alot of people are afraid of being and dying alone. Maybe that has something to do with it.

[MissJacksonCA]

I wouldn't say thats entirely true. I knew one man who was the happiest man ever after 20 years of marriage. Unfortunatly his wife wanted to move on with half his assets once he sold his production company and divorced him. Despite the divorce which he gave her more than she asked for he still wears his wedding band even though its now cutting off the circulation in his finger which could lead to losing his digit. When my dad told him he needed to take it off and get a larger one if he must he said no because as long as he loves his wife he'll never take it off. I wonder what happened to him... hmmm

I see marriage as settling. Like this is as good as it gets so i'm gonna get it while its good sorta thing. Or get it while I can. For women today they seem to view it as some kind of contractual obligation to love them which is funny because you can't force someone to care about you forever and ever. To my thinking love is just desire which is induced by a bodys reaction to a possible mating partner. Its like blondes with blue eyes... they're typically more fertile so people are attracted to them more (though I dont buy that). Its pheramones. I dunno I just dont get it.

I remember wanting to marry someone once. Meeting and dating one person whose company I not only enjoyed but it felt amazing being with that person. It was like being high or something I mean every single time we were together we had an amazing time. Then of course I had to eff it all up and he found someone else half as amazing as I was hopefully but it makes me think... I've never known anyone before him like him or after him like him. Not even close. So I can't imagine marrying someone besides him and he's outta the question since I crossed the Rubicon. Its just weird now. I look at people and who they're with or married to and they do seem unhappy. But maybe it was always like that.

[darth los]

It is better to have loved and lost than to have never have loved at all. Or is it? What do you think. Would you rather never have met him? Sure you could have avoided the hurt but you would have never known what true love is, been with some one else you thought you loved but it would really be a lie because you couldn't really gauge it. Atleast now, on the chance that you do love again, you'll know it's the real deal when you come across it.

[MissJacksonCA]

I would rather have never met him. He betrayed me when I needed him the most but taught me a valuable lesson... never let people know when you're not going okay because they dont want to be near you if you're not... and even still who can say it was love... he was a marathon runner like me, in amazing shape, he was a doctor in training so he was incredibly smart... I mean it coulda just been my body saying smart...fit... mate...

Never really been the kid to say I love ya to anyone I think i've said it to my family less than 10 times in total to them all... I think people generally want something from ya and pretend to care til they get it ...to have loved and lost? I'm not a loser... I always win. Its my thing. I'd rather never have lost it. At least then there'd be a chance at having it and keeping it now I just feel like i've lost...

[darth los]

I would rather have never met him. He betrayed me when I needed him the most but taught me a valuable lesson... never let people know when you're not going okay because they dont want to be near you if you're not... and even still who can say it was love... he was a marathon runner like me, in amazing shape, he was a doctor in training so he was incredibly smart... I mean it coulda just been my body saying smart...fit... mate...

Never really been the kid to say I love ya to anyone I think i've said it to my family less than 10 times in total to them all... I think people generally want something from ya and pretend to care til they get it ...to have loved and lost? I'm not a loser... I always win. Its my thing. I'd rather never have lost it. At least then there'd be a chance at having it and keeping it now I just feel like i've lost...


2 lessons must be learned here. First, no one wins all the time. As a matter of fact MOST things in life don't go your way. That's why making lemons out of lemonade is so important. You have to roll with the punches or else it's gonna be a looooong trip and i don't mean in a good way.

Second, you're totally correct in that people only want to use you, to chew you up and spit you out. That's why when you find the man whose not like that you marry his ass. I'm all for marriage if it's in the right circumstance. But human being in general suck . they're selfish and greedy. Nobody really cares about anything unless it affects them directly.

[MissJacksonCA]

bah... there's never gonna be a person who doesn't want something from ya so marriage is thus... out of the question

[darth los]

That's very true. Even in a perfect marriage things are just going to be expected of each other. However, when a person sacrifices their needs and wants so you can be happy it must be recognized and appreciated because nobody in this world is obligated to do anything for you.

[MissJacksonCA]

I think your family is obliged to be there for ya no matter what

[mista_mo]

i am generally pessismestic about it also, but i am only 19. I am still a young lad, and have barely stepped out into the world. I may be bitter about it now, but i know i'll find someone for me.

The way I look at it...(and I am a christian so forgive the God part in this if it offends anyone) but God has someone picked out for us, it's just a matter of making the right choices and decisions to get to that special somebody.

[MissJacksonCA]

That was so wonderful Mo hope ya find her

[mista_mo]

It applies to everyone, not just me.


sometimes i cannot tell when you are being sarcastic or not lol sorry.

[MissJacksonCA]

ah behold all! The words every sarcastic person wants to hear... that someone can't tell when they're sincere (note how that rhymes damn I'm good)

No i'm sincere I truly hope the best for all even those I dont care for entirely (note you dont fall in that catagory I think you're a great guy IMHO)

[darth los]

That was so wonderful Mo hope ya find her


Mj, don't go spouting that line again. I thought we swore it off. I know you've been dying to spring it on someone.lol:lol:

[MissJacksonCA]

Hey just because i'm a lost cause doesn't mean everyone ought to be! He's so optimistic I think its wonderful he's going to find what he wants.

[darth los]

life obviously hasn't scarred him yet. In time, in time. Unfortunately. I thappens to all of us sooner or later.

[mista_mo]

lol, nice....yay for optimism


it's true tho...

i've been through my share of rough times. The reason i'm so adament about staying away from drugs and booze is because it almsot killed me several times, and i was big time into that junk.

I know rough spots lay ahead..no one is prepared for them, but anyone who thinks they will not ever happen is a fool.

[MissJacksonCA]

well thats not true...

I think he's gonna be just fine i'm sure he's had more than his fair share of when life blows but he's obviously got a strong resolve and thats wonderful

[Kaos]

You folks are goofy, but more to the point...

You only marry someone you want to start a family with. Period. The necessity of marriage (or common law marriage or committed relationship) is centered around family. Although some marriages are total disasters, by and far, the best household to raise children in are ones with two parents in a committed relationship living together.

Many social scientists have performed studies of single parent families and have come to common conclusions:

Children of single parent homes:
Are less likely to attain qualifications (Diplomas, Certificates, and Degrees)
Are more likely to experience unemployment
Are more likely to have low incomes
Are more likely be on income support
Are more likely to experience homelessness
Are more likely to be caught offending and go to jail
Are more likely to suffer from long term emotional and psychological problems
Are more likely to develop health problems
Tend to enter partnerships earlier and more often as a cohabitation
Are more likely to divorce or dissolve their cohabiting unions
Are more likely to have children outside marriage or outside any partnershipIn our culture, as well as most of the world...the definition of a committed relationship is marriage. Why?

Marriage, much like real estate is a bundle of rights. When you marry you afford certain rights to each other for legal purposes...to preserve and protect the family. To make desertion harder (although not impossible) when there are children involved.

Married spouses have rights that are akin to power of attorney in medical and economic decisions. My wife is entitled to make medical decisions for me if I am incapacitated, she is entitled to my social security benefits should I die, she is entitled to receive social security on behalf of my daughter should I die, she is entitled to survivorship of my pension should I die. She automatically is entitled to every portion of my estate upon my death. It is smarter to be married if you truly care for your spouse and family since these rights help the surviving spouse and children.

Even those who are in unmarried committed relationships that actually take the time to draw up very specific and detailed wills cannot imitate the level of security afforded a married spouse. This is why gay people are up in arms about gay marriage and states have instituted civil unions.

Now given all that. If you have any doubts about getting married with someone, don't. Also don't have children with them either. If you are not committed enough to get married (with all of its associated legal benefits) then should you really be having children with that person? It is essentially mismanagement of risk no matter how you cut it.

For those folks who do not want or cannot have children, as far as I am concerned.... live in sin. Sin is fun. We all know it. I lived in sin for many years, and I loved it!

And for those who always shoot their mouth off about hating kids and not wanting to have them...too few of you are doing the most logical thing...getting sterilized.

The only people I believe do not want children are those with vasectomies or their tubes tied. The others are full of hot air or just plain stupid. Some may say the procedures are expensive... I guarantee having children on accident can be much, much more expensive.

Man, I need to get off of this soap box before I teeter off and hurt myself.

My opinions are only my own, and everyone is entitled to theirs. If any of my statements offend you because you think I am targeting you, I am not. Every point I have made came from specific conversations I have had with people I know personally.

I am not religious in any way. I am agnostic. I don't believe in marriage because the holy poltergeist says it is right. Marriage as an institution that predates organized religion.

My commitment to children stems from instinct, the example my parents set for me, and the travesty of broken homes I have seen with my siblings with the associated impact on their children.

[MissJacksonCA]

being goofy is great... it beats being mickey wtf is with those ears man? and that high pitched voice? of course i'd prefer donald... he's got such a cute fanny... oh yes

you're genious...

I totally agree with the study notes you pointed out and have seen them in action quite often especially here in SC.

I also agree that its wrong for people who dont plan to marry to have children together but unfortunately women are stupid. They're having babies to try to force a man to be close to them. They're having them because they dont believe in abortion. They're having them because they dont use birth control religously. Etc. Its an epidemic IMO.

As for those who dont want children its actually hard to get sterilized depending on your age. I pursued that option when I was 19 and was unable to find a competent doctor I knew who was willing to perform such on me because he feels I may well end up changing my mind with age. They tell me that I'll have a hard time finding a good doctor I know willing to do such until i'm at the very least 30. I think the government ought to offer some kind of loan to women who want to be sterilized or some sort of tax exemption. It may end up saving them money some day. While I dont paticularly like children however I will adopt one or two if I get married. There's so many children in the world who come from bad homes they deserve to have a good life.

I think a great detriment to society is broken homes and there's a pattern I find in women especially who have children while they aren't married to men who never marry them or marry them because they have children. And its cyclical. Their children will do the same... and so on and so forth... its like growing up in an abused home you're more likely to become an abuser whether its an alcohol addiction, drug addiction, smoking, abuse, sexual abuse, etc. I sure hope I'm not offending anyone with that because its not my intention its just what i've seen, and what i've read. Of course some people break the cycle and godspeed to them.

[Kaos]

As for those who dont want children its actually hard to get sterilized depending on your age. I pursued that option when I was 19 and was unable to find a competent doctor I knew who was willing to perform such on me because he feels I may well end up changing my mind with age.

Oh, I totally know why they wouldn't do it for you at 19. They are right that people change their minds...especially on this issue. Not everyone mind you, but an awful lot of people.

Many of my friends, however, do not want to have children. Mostly due to lifestyle changes they are unwilling to make that would be required to have children and/or fear of the incredible responsibility involved. It is too bad really. Whereas I totally believe you should avoid having children until you are ready, I think it would be pretty cool to see their genes passed on. :)

[Terran]

I only want children if I cant figure out a way to live "forever".....

I got a feeling though that by the time I give up on that dream Ill be to old to have children....

:)

[darth los]

While I dont paticularly like children however I will adopt one or two if I get married. There's so many children in the world who come from bad homes they deserve to have a good life.

Give it time. Like k said it's mind blowing to see your genes passed on. To see yourself in your children is like a blessing from god. Trust me everything that annoys you about kids won't seem bad when it's YOUR children that are doing it.

[Kaos]

I only want children if I cant figure out a way to live "forever".....

I got a feeling though that by the time I give up on that dream Ill be to old to have children....

:)

You won't figure it out, and you will most assuredly die. Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock:evil:

[Terran]

You won't figure it out, and you will most assuredly die. Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tock:evil:
...*Has a Panic attack*...


Your right!....I better freeze a whole bunch of my sperm and then sneak it into sperm donation clinics replacing all their stock with my sperm....so suddenly I have more children than Genghis Khan ever had ...muahaha!!


So that will be my saftey plan....

Brilliant, thanks for the advice Kaos.

:lol:



Side note: This sounds like the plan of a retarded Lex Luther....

[MissJacksonCA]

I'd rather see my genes passed on my means of donating my eggs... the way god and reproductive centers would want it!

[Terran]

Isnt that the same thing as donating sperm.


Only I can donate far more sperm than you can donate eggs...newb!



Oh Kaos

http://www.sciencedaily.com/upi/index.php?feed=Science&article=UPI-1-20070614-14185200-bc-us-longevity.xml

Theres better articles on there for anti aging related stuff but I just like this one part that this guy said...


Calorie restriction, endocrine link found
CAMBRIDGE, Mass., June 14 (UPI) -- A U.S. study has found, for the first time, a link between longevity induced by calorie restriction and the endocrine system.

It's been long known dietary restriction extends lifespan and retards age-related disease in many species, although the phenomenon's underlying mechanisms remain a mystery.

Now Professor Leonard Guarente, postdoctoral associate Nicholas Bishop and colleagues at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology have demonstrated a particular pair of neurons in the heads of underfed worms might play an essential role in their lengthy lives.

When the two neurons were killed by a laser beam, the worms could not enjoy the longevity normally associated with calorie restriction.

"This study directs our attention to the brain as a center for mediating the beneficial effects of calorie restriction in higher organisms, potentially including us," Guarente said. "A complete molecular understanding of calorie restriction may lead to new drugs for the major diseases of aging."

Guarente suggests it is only a matter of time before aging itself is declared a disease.

The latest research appeared in a recent issue of the journal Nature.

Copyright 2007 by United Press International. All Rights Reserved.

[Kaos]

Oh, Terran:

MOY-jJeOeBk

[MissJacksonCA]

yes but my eggs are worth more than your sperm lol...

[darth los]

It seems that most female parts are worth more than men's.

[MissJacksonCA]

I think possibly because its easy for a man to donate sperm but to donate eggs its invasive. Add to that women tend to be so much more sentimental they'd have a much harder time parting with their potential offspring than a man would. And of course women have a great desire to have children perhaps because its human nature and are willing to go to great risk to become pregnant and pay large sums of money in hopes of reproduction.

The downside to egg and sperm donation is there's no way to keep track of who donated what so it erases the possibility of ever knowing who your donators were. You have access to the lot number (for lack of a better term) but thats it. And with sperm donation being so popular there's an increased possibility of dating someone you could be related to in a way which could cause any number of future birth defects. There's a good lot of articles and shows discussing that and its horrific that one man could have as many as 15 children wandering through the same city that could wind up reproducing together or donating sperm and etc. its cyclical and its quite scary. Just another case where the government isn't keeping up with medicine and technology in order to prevent what could be an epidemic to society when you figure in that the children are our future but when they're mentally deficient what kind of future will it become?

We already have enough morons in power... look at our fearless leader who boldly sends boys out to do mens jobs to win his war =)

[darth los]

And let me tell you, donating sprem is much more enjoyable. :elol:

[MissJacksonCA]

Yeah I can see how you'd enjoy it... being in a sterile room... video... magazines... rosie and her sisters... a tiny cup... oh and some cash afterwards...

its almost like whoring yourself to medical science!

[flyboy]

Just curious because I dont know a lot (or any personally) married people... my bfs best friend spends every Saturday at his local bar by himself... his wife is generally not allowed to go its like 'his time' but he spends his entire time there flirting with every girl in the joint (it doesn't hurt he's smokin hot) and I'm just curious... is that the usual among married men?

I'm not suggesting men dont deserve their own special time but to spend it doing everything short of the hibbidy dibbidy is kinda obscene IMO
in england men do spend saturday in the pub having a laff,altho i dont know if ''they''(i dont know many married men( flirt with the girls.but isnt flirting just a thing that goes with getting drunk??:skull:

[darth los]

Everybody needs time away from their spouse. People unwind differently. I for one am not an idiot. I don't expect that whem i committ to a woman that her hormones shut down and she no longer finds any other men attractive, LOOK BUT DON"T TOUCH are words to live by. I do expect however that she be faithful and honest and have respect for me. If there is constanct flirting and she really needs to be reigned in than that's really disrespectful. I love women. They are the most beautiful thing god ever made. I appreciate their beauty and am never going to stop appreciating that. In most cases when you see what's actually out there you appreciate what you have at home even more. The grass is always greener....

[MissJacksonCA]

Eh I guess it bothers me because this guy has cheated on his wife before and even before they married he cheated on her and so everytime he looks at a female I'm thinking to myself... you cheat on her again i'll make jake rip off your balls

[darth los]

Eh I guess it bothers me because this guy has cheated on his wife before and even before they married he cheated on her and so everytime he looks at a female I'm thinking to myself... you cheat on her again i'll make jake rip off your balls


If he cheated on his wife the he's a di ck and should have never gotten married. As a man I wouldn't trust anybody who cheats on their spouse becaue they go home every night with a straight face and blatantly lie to a person they made sacred vows to. They're untrustworthy slugs.

And would ya laff of the balls ladies? That's not cool. You always wanna solve problems by hurting a man's genetalia. That speaks to an immuturity that's present. Exept in cases of self defense, balls should be off limits. You could really make a guy sterile doing that. How would you like it if someone ripped out your eggs? :confused:

[MissJacksonCA]

Women want to rip off a dude man apparatus when they hurt them because when a woman hurts its generally from a broken heart... because the man that cheated on his wife obviously has no heart you have to take what would hurt him the most...

[darth los]

Okay? ISUES!!

[mista_mo]

just take away his playstation.

[darth los]

Man that's brilliant !! :D It's usually the simplest ideas that make the most sense.

[MissJacksonCA]

but he could just buy another...

[mista_mo]

keep taking them away...it'll cost him more cash to replace it then it will for you to take it.

or you can keep reselling it to him.

[MissJacksonCA]

I couldn't even do that to my boyfriend since he has a VG console, his roomie has two, he's got his computer, then there's his brothers 3 VG systems and computers... and since football season is starting soon they have that... and their role playing games... and poker... I mean gosh I'd have to make a career out of it lol... I need to date older men... like 45 when they're over 'it'

[mista_mo]

In the case of older men just take their viagra. We all know that men over 25 need it.


or their false teeth and chewing tobbaco

[darth los]

There are plusses and minuses to every age group. Then you'd have to deal with the requisite midlife crisis. You up for that? Pick your poison.

[MissJacksonCA]

I'll take a midlife crisis... hot sports car... luxury vacations... shopping... trying new things... i'll be the trophy its cool and I love golf ... not so much the sport as the carts and being able to drink alcohol while you play and the cute lil outfits

It beats the ... i'm 30 and dont know what I want to do with my life... hate the government that stole my youth... what do you mean you're tired of watching football the game is almost over and we've only been watching it for 8 hours... and I'm doing some role playing with the guys tonite

[Graebel]

Everyone should get married.

Because when you're 85 and bitching about the weather/golf/the economy/your balls itching - that person next to you is the only one obligated to listen.

:p

[Dommm]

getting married in about a week and a half, let you know what I think in a couple of years what I think about all this,:-) wonder if this thread will still be active then

[darth los]

I'll take a midlife crisis... hot sports car... luxury vacations... shopping... trying new things... i'll be the trophy its cool and I love golf ... not so much the sport as the carts and being able to drink alcohol while you play and the cute lil outfits

It beats the ... i'm 30 and dont know what I want to do with my life... hate the government that stole my youth... what do you mean you're tired of watching football the game is almost over and we've only been watching it for 8 hours... and I'm doing some role playing with the guys tonite


I always tell you to check yourself before you wreck others. That middleaged dude is looking at you in the same way. as you look at men your age. Oh, and way to show the true motivation behnd what women really want. We already knew that. Don't wonder so hard why men treat/view women the way they do. Like i said, everybody has an agenda.

[MissJacksonCA]

Please... I try to get my boyfriend to go on vacation with me on my dime and he refuses... I try to fix his car and he refuses to let me... I buy him clothes all the time and he hates me for it... he can't get past his issues enough to realize when I pay for things its because I want to do things with him and not to say haha I make more than you loser...

[darth los]

Well, it's probably because once you let a woman buy you things it's sure to be the first thing thrown in his face in a fight.:rolleyes:

[MissJacksonCA]

He and I have known each other for maybe 8-10 years... in that time we've had major fights... he throws every bad act I did whether we were together or not into my face... humiliating things beyond my control he throws in my face... I never not once in my entire life against any person have ever stooped so low to play dirty or to even kick a man between the legs... he knows i'd never do that.. he just hates anyone who ever had money or has money and can't get beyond it...

[darth los]

He and I have known each other for maybe 8-10 years... in that time we've had major fights... he throws every bad act I did whether we were together or not into my face... humiliating things beyond my control he throws in my face... I never not once in my entire life against any person have ever stooped so low to play dirty or to even kick a man between the legs... he knows i'd never do that.. he just hates anyone who ever had money or has money and can't get beyond it...

To be fair, men do the throwing things in your face also. It's not right when anybody does it. As for the last statement, i detect a little self loathing going on. Maybe he's just jealous. I highly doubt if given the chance to be rich he'd turn it down.

[MissJacksonCA]

He has totally turned down any chance at money he gets job offers for amazing jobs all the time and continually turns them down. He's a stubborn jackass about money. The only time he's totally happy about my spending money on him is when I take him to dinner lol so ya see a way to a mans heart is through his stomach!

[darth los]

He has totally turned down any chance at money he gets job offers for amazing jobs all the time and continually turns them down. He's a stubborn jackass about money. The only time he's totally happy about my spending money on him is when I take him to dinner lol so ya see a way to a mans heart is through his stomach!

That sounds quite odd to me and i would debate you on the assertion that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. There is atleast one avenue that trumps that.

[MissJacksonCA]

He is a strange bird...

But yeah the way to a mans heart thing was more an attempt at humor to lighten the mood ;)