Night of the Living Dead 3D My Review

[DjfunkmasterG]

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

SPOILERS GALORE

This movie is exactly that, laughable. This so called remake or whatever it is, does nothing but ruin not only the zombie genre, but puts a stain on the title Night of the Living Dead.

Basically the movie starts off using the original night of the living dead playing on a TV screen and then slowly moves itself into present day where we find Barb and a very F U C K I N G annoying Johnny, whom constantly talks through his nose, on their way to a family funeral. On the way BARB receives text messages on her cell phone from her mom about their tardiness, yet 2 minutes later when they arrive and find the funeral site in disarray Barb is attacked by zombies, one being her mother. When Johnny gets attacked he gets bitten and drives off in his Mini Cooper leaving Barb to fend for herself.

Barb begins her run and ends up at TOVAR's mortuary where she finds a cache of corpses in decomposition and some walking around, including one eating a priest. She barricades herself inside a garage when suddenly a zombie flips open the door, as it is about to attack Sid Haig busts in and hits it in the head with a Shovel, then in pure comedic Capt. Spaulding fashion he informs young Barb (Don't call her Barbara) that... "As you can see Ms. we are having some issues today, so if you are here to visit a loved one you might wanna come back tomorrow. Meanwhile ths zombie he pitted in the noggen gets up and he begins hitting it again and calling it by it's name... saying Mr. So So, ytou don't want to behave like that, now stop that, and settle down.

Folks... it only gets worse from here. Barb now on the run again, runs into ben, a white male early 20's, who takes her to a near by farm house owned and occupied by the Cooper family, a weed growing selling red neck bunch not willing to help because of the fear of the cops finding their stash. Not too mention they don't believe Barb because as they Watch NOTLD they laugh at it, and tell her someone mutherf*cker must of gave her bad acid. When the zombies do invade it is only just a matter of minutes before the eye rolling begins.

Out in the barn while the zombies attack the house, Tom and Judy have some wild sex. Lotsa o Boob Shots and Sex Scenes appear and suddenly during Judy's climax the zombies start heading for the barn. When they bust in on the very naked and horny couple Tom gets up to fight them off only to of course lose the battle. Judy barricades herself inside a pickup truck but doesn't close the back glass window and WHAM a zombie reaches in and bites out the back of her head getting himself some Brains.

the zombies, well there are 2 types, the silent slow ones and the ROTLD style whom talk and look normal like you or I, then blam suddenly full zombie make-up and ready to chomp your ass. Also, you find out the origins of the zombie outbreak. It is Sid Haig's fault. 60 minutes into the movie after a 50 minute absence he shows back up to explain it all.

I am just going to stop here because this is a travesty to the genre. This film makes House of the Dead look stellar. I S H I T you not! No words can describe how bad it is, not too mention the lack of any decent gore. The acting and camera work are horrible. I mean this is just a few steps above those of us who churn out $10,000 zombie films.

If you want to watch a decent remake of Night besides the 1990 version, go watch Reese's version on Google Video. Otherwise stick to the Original and the 1990 remake.

This is one turd that needs to be flushed. 2.5 out of 10

[Danny]

so pretty much exactly what i was expecting then.:bored:

you just saved me a tenner dj ,cheers.

[DjfunkmasterG]

You're welcome. I figured it was my turn to take one for the team. :D

[darth los]

I didn't read the spoilers because i still intend on buying it. I'm a collector, what can i say? :( But did it come with some cool 3d glasses?


Is it worse than notld 30th?

[RustyHicks]

You did save me some money too,
I like adding Zombie movies to my collection,
but not something that may contaminate the rest.
Thanks for the heads up man.
Much appreciated

[DjfunkmasterG]

Is it worse than notld 30th?

DUDE, it makes House of the dead and Contagium watchable!

[MinionZombie]

lol, "acquiring" as we speak :lol:

Who'd pay for this sh*t in their right mind? ... has anyone been kissed by Rant Casey recently? Maybe that explains people insisting on dropping dosh on a movie that'll just drop a fat load on their chests without so much as a reach around for a "thanks, mate". :lol:

(for clarification, Rant Casey is a character from Chuck Palahniuk's latest book, I'm near the end, but haven't finished yet, so if anyone has, don't go dropping spoilers like a dickhead...cheers :))

[DjfunkmasterG]

Well someone was suckered into putting up the money for this flick.

[MinionZombie]

Well someone was suckered into putting up the money for this flick.
Probably an idiot investor who got conned, or some small time production company looking to make a splash, but bolloxed it up because:

1) Remakes most likely suck
2) "Cming 4 u Barb"
3) 3-D still sucks, it's only gonna get awesome when James Cameron says so
4) A sack of sh*t dressed in a wedding dress is still a sack of sh*t

:lol:

[DjfunkmasterG]

According to Box Office Mojo... This film is the #10 film in Russia taking in just under $1,000,000 in 6 weeks. Now Russia doesn't have 4000 movie theater complexes like we do, but For a POS to make that kind of scratch over there... sheesh. Their standards must be low.

[darth los]

Well someone was suckered into putting up the money for this flick.

To quote a line from pulp fiction, "that's a bold statement."

[DjfunkmasterG]

To quote a line from pulp fiction, "that's a bold statement."

When you see the film you will understand and agree with that statement.

[Yojimbo]

Probably an idiot investor who got conned, or some small time production company looking to make a splash, but bolloxed it up because:

1) Remakes most likely suck
2) "Cming 4 u Barb"
3) 3-D still sucks, it's only gonna get awesome when James Cameron says so
4) A sack of sh*t dressed in a wedding dress is still a sack of sh*t

:lol:

One of the more hilarious lists I have seen and right on target. Especially #4 which my late grandfather used to repeat a variant of that as one of his life lesson mantras. He would have liked Minon's!

[MinionZombie]

Probably because they barely make a film themselves, at least none we see (except for the odd flick now and then), they're best known for Communism and the Cold War (which Putin seems to be eying up a sequel to :rolleyes:)...plus, it's not exactly glamorous and they all appear (to us outsiders anyway) to all be rather serious and miserable...

Mind you, they do have a crazy ass TV show where members of the public pretend to be criminals and attempt to outrun the police in real car chases...takes all sorts really.

Anyway, they're probably so chuffed to have a film from the outside world making it in...I'm not sure how many imports they get, but I wouldn't be surprised if some films never make it there, or get there and are cut to shreds...I'm thinking along the lines of Germany "seizing" all copies of Dead Rising, and China taking issue with (apparently) "anti-Chinese" plot points in Rush Hour 3 ... i.e. pathetic loserishness.

[Monrozombi]

so how does this compare to Children of the Living Dead in the ultimate sack of **** film department?

[DjfunkmasterG]

so how does this compare to Children of the Living Dead in the ultimate sack of **** film department?

Children still wins the ultimate sack of **** award!

[Monrozombi]

well then if I do watch NOTLD3D at least I can just focus on Sid Haig, he seems to be the only redeeming thing about the film

[Phildogger]

Garbage. and even with the 3D glasses, it looks like ****.

[DjfunkmasterG]

well then if I do watch NOTLD3D at least I can just focus on Sid Haig, he seems to be the only redeeming thing about the film


Sid Haig is a joke in this... when I talked about him in my review it wasn't praise, trust me you want Sid Haig go watch TDR.

[axlish]

I just got done watching this and first of all I must say this. It is better than Contagium, Night 30th, House of the Dead and Children of the Living Dead. I at least had the urge to finish this one, which is way more than I can say for the shameful list of films I listed. It is what it is, a low budget, re-imagining of a classic. Of course it sucked in comparison, but at least they attempted to get creative with it. The zombies looked odd, but to the film-makers defense, they at least explained it. Corny fun, worth the rent.

[darth los]

Sid Haig is a joke in this... when I talked about him in my review it wasn't praise, trust me you want Sid Haig go watch TDR.

It's going to be a tall order for him to top his performance in that film. I mean he's a strange looking dude. He was perfect for the part.

[DjfunkmasterG]

I just got done watching this and first of all I must say this. It is better than Contagium, Night 30th, House of the Dead and Children of the Living Dead. I at least had the urge to finish this one, which is way more than I can say for the shameful list of films I listed. It is what it is, a low budget, re-imagining of a classic. Of course it sucked in comparison, but at least they attempted to get creative with it. The zombies looked odd, but to the film-makers defense, they at least explained it. Corny fun, worth the rent.


WOW, I am shocked you liked this... I think it is vile piece of Sh!t. However, it is my opinion. Personally I would rather sit through Contagium again than another viewing of this, honestly this just tarnishes the Night of the Living Dead name.

[darth los]

Disagreements on subjects like these is why i think that people see films like this because they figure that they just have to see for themselves.

[MinionZombie]

I flicked through it, utter lump of fetid sh*t.

Although yes, better than Craptagium...but getting kicked in the nuts is better than that horrid pile of bile.

I didn't notice any reference to GAR in the credits, did they completely leave him out?! How disrespectful, they even drop clips of his movie in through this piece of crap on TV.

Best thing about it was Sid Haig, and he was extremely limited due to a rubbish script. "Couldn't give a stuff" being an operative phrase for the plot of this crap.

Basically, if you drop a ten spot or whatever on this flick, you've been ripped off. Heck, if you dropped your breath on it while perusing the back cover at Blockbuster you've been ripped off.

Now "Vacancy" - there's a quality horror film, not zombies, but quality horror.

[axlish]

WOW, I am shocked you liked this... I think it is vile piece of Sh!t. However, it is my opinion. Personally I would rather sit through Contagium again than another viewing of this, honestly this just tarnishes the Night of the Living Dead name.

I didn't say that I liked it, but I did say that I felt the urge to finish watching it, which is way more than I can say for Contagium, Night 30th, ChildrenOTLD and HouseOTD. As for tarnishing NOTLD, it cannot get any lower after that 30th anniversary version, that was the rock bottom. I give much more respect to someone who puts up some cash and creates their own thing than to someone who drops the Lucas treatment on a classic. That said, rent, don't buy.

[DjfunkmasterG]

I had to grind my teeth to finish Night 3D. Sorry it was bad, Sid Haig was bad, the script was bad... it was honestly a really big turd, that clogged up the bowl.

[fartpants]

okay so the film sucked but what about the 3-d effects, how were they to watch ?

[MinionZombie]

I had to grind my teeth to finish Night 3D. Sorry it was bad, Sid Haig was bad, the script was bad... it was honestly a really big turd, that clogged up the bowl.
And then it overflowed all over your brand new floor, and you stepped in it in the dark in the middle of the night, and you lost all your sleep last night because you were cleaning up the trodden mess, then you had to get an injection because some got in that little cut on your foot from the other day, then you had to pay for the subscription because you live in England, rather than Wales or Scotland. :lol:

THAT is how sh*t Night3D is. :lol:

[axlish]

And then it overflowed all over your brand new floor, and you stepped in it in the dark in the middle of the night, and you lost all your sleep last night because you were cleaning up the trodden mess, then you had to get an injection because some got in that little cut on your foot from the other day, then you had to pay for the subscription because you live in England, rather than Wales or Scotland. :lol:

THAT is how sh*t Night3D is. :lol:

Did you actually watch it or are you basing this on your skimming through a movie?

[MinionZombie]

Well, "skimming" is an odd term to use, it wasn't skipping, nor skimming really, but it wasn't a detailed sit down and ponder thoughtfully through like I usually muster from my film viewings, it quickly became evident there was no need for thought.

To be honest, so much of it was so obvious or seen-before or forgettable that you could skim the dialogue scenes mostly and see the action...it was kinda like viewing the movie at 1.5 speed, like I've sometimes done with dodgy movies.

But when Sid Haig came on screen, I watched it without any ickle skip forwards (I'm talking a few seconds, not minutes or anything)...so yes, it's still a sack of crap.

[axlish]

LOL, because most other zombie films require thought!

Sid was likely the worst part of the film. This film is meant as 3D fodder, so without the 3D, it really isn't much but a poor remake. If it were in 3D, I'd drive across town to see it.

[MinionZombie]

3-D won't be awesome until James Cameron makes it awesome, nuff said on that really.

What I meant was that I usually watch a film very closely, it's something I've done all my life, I can't be doing with people coming in and out interrupting or talking throughout, I always have to pause if that happens. I sit down and dedicate time and concentrate - my point being that Night3D didn't deserve such a viewing, nor did it require such a viewing.

And yes, there are zombie films which require actual thought (as opposed to my "concentrated viewing" version of "thoughtful" that I said earlier), GAR's being the most obvious examples.

3D fodder or not, it's just not good enough, it's a sh*t movie, full stop.

And had I watched it in 3D (rather than with naked eyes) it would have still been a sh*t film, just a sh*t film that's broken somewhat into a vaguely third dimension, complete with silly "point a joint into the lens" or "poorly rendered CGI bullet and smoke flies at the camera" 'gags' :lol:

That's all I can say, I watched it as closely as both it deserved and as I could muster, but it was just such a sack of sh*t, not that I was expecting anything else. :rolleyes: