funniest things you've seen in person?

[Mike70]

1. a few years a ago i came out of the main library in downtown cincy. i could see this dude bebopping (damn near dancing) down the street with something in his hand. as he got close to me i recognized that he was singing "easy skankin" by bob marley. right as he passes me stops and sings out with "excuse me while i light my spliff, dear god i got to take lift." lights up what he has in his hand which turned out to be a bomber joint. he looks at me and says "wanna hit this brother?" well after handing it back to him he goes bouncing off down the street still singing "easy skankin" and offering the joint to people on the street.

2. when i was like 13 or 14 two friends of mine, eric and mike, not two of the brightest fellows ever, tell a group of us that they have been learning how to trick shoot with their bb guns. eric says "look mike can bounce a bb between my legs." mike tries the shot and the bb bounces right up and hits eric square in the balls. he collapses in the pain of having his balls hit with a bb and the rest of us just fell out. i mean we damn near died of laughter.

3. playing neighborhood football as an early teen with a group of friends. my friend jeff tackles our friend todd so hard that todd craps his pants. jeff jumps up off of him and is like "dude, you just sh*t your pants didn't you!" todd is trying to quickly back away the whole time protesting his innocence but the stain and smell give him away. i think it took todd like 5 years to live this down and he probably still has nightmares about it.

[kortick]

probably the weirest and funny if it wasnt so odd
was when I was property manager for a guy and
he had a building with a restaurant on 1st floor
and apartments on 2nd and 3rd. well the restaruant
had a big glass window in front facing the street.
It was lunch time so there were people at the tables
in front of the windows. Now on 3rd floor lived susie jones.
and well susie wasnt quite right. so one day at lunch she jumped
naked out of her window onto the street below.
the sight of people eating and their faces turning to shock and
horror as a naked lady falls from the sky and hits the pavement
in front of them was too much. she didnt die, she got banged up
but boy what a memorable lunch for those people.

[Terran]

Me asking a homeless guy if I could bum a ciggerette

[SymphonicX]

A tough one this....

I remember sitting on a staircase inside my old college in Battersea, waiting for a lesson to start with some friends. The AV guy, named Steve, walked past us all with a tall, leggy and attractive blonde lady, you could tell from his posture and walk that he was trying to impress her. anyway they were approaching a couple of steps which lead further down the corridor and he was looking sideways at her intently as she spoke and she was looking straight forward.....all of tha sudden there's this really, really loud BANG - Steve had forgotten to duck slightly (he was tall also) to avoid hitting his head on the low ceiling and had actually collided straight into a plastic sign saying "Mind your head" - but what was brilliant was that his head jerked so violently to the side but the girl he was walking with didn't even notice - she just carried on talking - Steve thought he'd got away with it until he turned around to see us on the staircase literally crying with laughter....

Another time I was at work and the desks were facing each other - there were two girls having a sort of girly chat about something or other and I was sitting in front of them....one of them made a silly comment and mimiced banging her head on the desk but she did it waaaaaaay too quickly and actually ended up smacking her face down on the desk really hard....her friend asked "did you just hit your head on the desk?" and the other girl laughed and said "yes" - but by this time I was in fits, tears of laughter...absolutely splitting my sides, I couldn't hold it in...

Some funny things I said to people:

I walked into the same office years and years later to hear the tail end of a group of bloke's conversation:

"well I saw someone rubbing their dick on your screen but I didn't see who it was...."

*walks in* "yeah you were too busy looking at the dick" *walks out*

Another time I over heard my supervisor speaking to my other supervisor:
"God Steve, you're just like my girlfriend...always asking questions"
me: "yeah, like: 'is it in yet?'"

Cue howls of laughter from the entire office...

[DeadJonas190]

This guy I work with was talking crap to me becuase he is better at Halo 3 than I am so I simply said "Yeah, your better than me at Halo, but at least I know what the inside of a woman feels like" and then I walked away. My other co-worker started to crack up so I turned to see the guy I said it too looking he is was about to cry, then he burst out laughing and was like "I'm going to use that one!"

Then the funniest part, his brother said almost the exact same thing to him the next day when he was talking crap again. When he told me that I was :lol:

[MikePizzoff]

For some reason I can't think of the funniest things I've seen, but these are off the top of my head...

Back in 7th grade, in shop class, me and my best friend of the time were goofing around (as usual) and he launched his wad of gum across the room. It hit this kid, Brian, in the face... which was slightly funny... the truly hilarious part of it was when we looked harder, the gum was stuck to the INSIDE of his glasses. This was probably something that had to be seen to be really funny, but I was nearly falling off my chair with laughter and still laugh when I think about it, 11 years later.

The multiple times my siblings (ages 3 & 4) have been talking to me, forgetting a wall is behind them, then they turn around and start into a full steam gallop and smack their foreheads into the wall within 1 step then fall backwards. :lol: Seems cruel for me to laugh, but they don't get seriously hurt.

EDIT: Last year at work (I flip houses) one of my friends, Steve, was vacuuming the closed-in porch, so the vacuum cord needed to run into the house and be plugged into an outlet in there. Me and my other, Jay, friend were in the living room and start hearing Steve screaming so we look out the window into the porch to see Steve staring back at us screaming "TURN IT OFF! IT'S ON FIRE! TURN IT OFF!" while stomping his feet as the vacuum is spewing out huge poofs of black smoke. Naturally, we just stood there laughing our asses off at him because he could have easily just reached around the wall and unplugged it himself.

[Danny]

id have to say a recording on my freinds phone of me when we drove past santa going round the village on his truck/ sliegh combo, i lean out so im sitting on the window frame (going at only a brisk walking spped mind;)) and i lean up as we pass, throw santa the horns and scream so bad i couldnt tlak for an hour after : YEEAAAAAHHH!

not so funny for me at the time but i can look back on that for years and laugh, especailly when the santa turns and gives me a thumbs up.:D

[mista_mo]

watching a one legged seagull chase my friend around a parking lot.

[Danny]

^ that reminds me, one day during my hard earned degree calsses me adn a few freinds spent a good hour watching 3 magpies have a fight in a parking lot. retarded ,but thats why its funny in retrospective.:lol:

[twistbud]

Me and a bunch of kids used to hang out in the halls before class in high school. One day my friend blew a big string of snot out of his nose until it damn near hit the floor and then he grabbed it and sucked that thing in his mouth. :barf: LOL The funny part was he did it because there was a group of preppy cheerleaders walking by. OMG the looks on their faces.


Same kid, years earlier in junior high. In the middle of science class this kid gets up and walks to the front of the class next to the chalk board where the teacher was and slammed his book on the wall and smashed a spider. He walked back to his seat saying, "thats one good thing this book is good for". LOL 6th grade.

Two years earlier in the fourth grade, different kid. Teacher asked my friend where his brother was because he wasn't in school that day. Brian, "where is Georgie today"? "Home sick", Brian says. The teacher didn't believe Brian and asked him again. Brian, "where is Georgie today"? "Home sick". Again. Brian, "where is Georgie today"? "Home sick". Again. Brian, "where is Georgie today"? "Home sick". Brian, "HE'S AT HOME SHOOTING THE ****ING BB GUN"! :lol:

[MikePizzoff]

\LOL The funny part was he did it because there was a group of preppy cheerleaders walking by. OMG the looks on their faces.

Sounds like me and my friends... now.

[rightwing401]

Two.

First was when I was washing cars for a dealership. My brother, a salesman at the time, and I walked into the lounge area. There in we found another salesman, perhapse the largest man I've ever seen, on his knees trying to pull a ding dong out of the vending machine it was stuck in. At the drop of the hat, my brother goes over to him and says, "Do you Harry take this vending machine to be your honored wife?" Needless to say, I fell on my ass laughing, and the dude never lived it down.

The second was when I was in college. I was on my way to a class, and while walking under an overpass, this huge guy who looked like a line man for a football team, came riding by on a bicycle that looked like it was meant for a four year old boy. Just seeing this huge guy cruched up and riding that tiny machine had me bracing myself against the wall to keep from falling over.

Definetly the two funniest things I've ever seen in real life.

[LoSTBoY]

I was at college sitting at a window in the canteen. Out the window was the back of the kitchen where 2 bin men were wheeling 2 big plastic bins with flip lids to their truck.
That day was a particularly windy day and one of the bins was overloaded so when the guy moved it the lid flipped over and some rubbish blew out. The guy flips the lid back up and bends down to get the rubbish and at that moment the wind picks up again and WHAM, the lid flips and slams the poor guy on the noggin.

I was with 4 other people but I was the only one watching so I had to spend the next 10 minutes explaining what I saw through fear-filled laughter. :lol:

[CornishCorpse]

1. Schools breed boredom and so I got into a fight with a friend..well not a fight more of I snuck up behind him with a twiglet and stabbed him next to the eye. Lol I didnt know snack foods could make you bleed

2. Getting so drunk a friend of mine thought I was his imaginary best friend and having to spend two hours convincing the guy that he was not alone and that I did infact exsist.

3. xD At a party a while back a sorta nerdy large female had downed a litre of vodka and was inlove with one of my friends of course him being a mature adult he hid for the whole party going to tent to tent to avoid her. Harsh but it was funny as Ive never seen a guy cower so much before plus she was screaming his name at three am in the middle of the country. Twas like something from the shining.

4. After munching some magical mushrooms me and a couple friends decided to go for an ambient surrounding so found a nice spot on the nature reserve. After smoking and talking we hear a sound in the distance, a distinctive thud. We all turn to look and a couple yells come from behind the bushes and out stumbles one of our friends from college. Massive smile, massive pupils and branches stuck all over him he just said " Alright Guys?" and then went back off into the wood.

[vissionaerie]

i have a dog who humps everything and everyone...well a few monthes back we were at a rest area in indiana taking the dog for a walk when another guy with a 6 month old puppy 2 times the size of my dog was walking his...my dog and his dog (both boys) started playing with each other...then my dog decided he was going to hump the other dog but instead of doing it the proper way that dogs do it my dog decided to hump the face ... we we're laughing so hard...including the other guy.....and there was a guy behind the building cleaning out trash cans and watching the whole situation...he was laughing so hard he fell into the trashcan...which made us laugh even harder...we still laugh about it...

then there was a time the dog was sleeping on my water bed and my oldest jumped onto the bed which catapulted the dog off the bed....snoopy just got up and looked at us like what the **** just happened....:lol:

having kids and a dog crazy crap happens all the time....

i forgot one...

my dad is a big fan of captain morgan and pepsi when we moved into my house we had a bbq to give thanks for everyone helping us and my dad got drunk he went to sit down on my porch which is flush to the ground except for the part he went to sit on and he fell backwards hitting his head on the bbq grill...he sat up saying the "captain is good the captain is good"...here he didn't spill any of it and was proud of that ...I laughed so hard I almost fell out of my chair...