As an evil atheist, I promise to perpetuate the conspiracy of biological evolution, to suppress the evidence for the existence of an omnipotent god, and to further the cause of Satanism. I will abuse any authority I may come to have by openly promoting the irrational faith of evolution as scientific fact and theory. In addition, I vow to take every opportunity to conceal the more than ample evidence for the existence of god. Finally, I will ridicule the church, the clergy and all those freethinking parishioners who have seen past the hoax of evolution, by characterising them as mindless sheep who are deluded and weak. In all facets of life, whether spoken, written, or believed, I will uphold this oath. For I am not just an evil atheist, but a humble servant of Satan.
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