Dear Toy Company...

[deadpunk]

why don't you want my kids to actually play with your product?! Or, I assume you don't, because you have the shit wrapped up in enough wire and zip-strips that it could survive the apocalypse with the cock roaches, anyway... Seriously, it shouldn't take longer to open your product than my child will actually spend playing with it. I wish I could order this shit, then pay for it with a check that it is just as frustrating to open as the fucking toy, itself. I'm gonna bet that if it took YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES 20 minutes or better to open your payment, that it would be a huge problem, but for some reason, it seems to be perfectly acceptable for me to dish out my hard earned cash and then spend hours...literally fucking mother fucking hours... cutting and unwinding ties from every toy Santa slipped down the chimney. I used to dread the fact that I had to put batteries in almost every toy. I used to spend Christmas Eve locating the tiniest set of screwdrivers known to man in order to prepare for that. Now? Now I have to sharpen my pig sticker and attempt to curb my language as I plaster a smile to my face as I deal with this shit... Seriously, I hope you cunts rot in hell next to Hitler. Actually, I hope Hitler makes it to Heaven and you wanks burn for eternity. /

[MoonSylver]

Woof. I know how you feel to an extent. Take it from me: Swiss Army Knife is your friend on Christmas dude (as well as just in general). All kinds of screwdrivers, mini scissors, pliers, wire cutters, knife blades, etc. Everything you need to free those toys ASAP & then assemble them once they're out. Love mine.

[deadpunk]

I have one bro...just don't feel such a piece of hardware should be needed to take something as simplistic as a toy out of a box! Grrrrrrrr

[capncnut]

I know. It's ridiculous. The way some of those plastic boxes are put together is a fucking nightmare. You have to get a pair of scissors and physically hack it open to get to the doll/toy.

[Tricky]

Ha ha yeah they do tend to overdo it with the packaging! As well as feeling sorry for those having to get the toy out, I also feel sorry for the poor underpaid sods in the factories who undoubtably have to package thousands of the damn things up in that specific way for 8 - 12 hours a day!

[kortick]

Gee Dead I dunno. My Barbie doll I got from Santa came right out of her box and she was playing in her Dream House right away. And did she have a busy night....

[slickwilly13]

Electronics & accessories have to be cut out of their specially sealed packages. If there was no shoplifting, then we would not have to go through this.

[Skippy911sc]

It is almost 2pm on the 26th and I just finished a 2 day Lego project... I would love to have to deal with those twist ties, but having 2 little boys sit there waiting for me to finish the 100,000 piece Lego set is just maddening! BTW use a pair of wire cutters...it seemed to be the fastest thing!

[ProfessorChaos]

a few years back my aunt was attempting to open a gift. it came in one of those plastic cases that's a total bitch to open. while opening the deal, she cut herself very badly and ended up having to go to the emergency room for eight stitches. since that day, i'm always uber careful when opening anything that comes wrapped in those nightmarish devices.....

[GhostWolf]

I too enjoy the fact that it almost takes a degree in engineering, or a certification in demolitions to open products these days. Developments in anti-theft packaging have indeed proved to be effective... unfortunately thats against the poor bastard who bought said packaged thing.

[AcesandEights]

I love these babies when such instances crop up...

[sandrock74]

When I was married, I used to dread Christmas morning and the birthday of my step-son. I would spend HOURS opening the boxes and assembling everything! My wife and step-son would take it easy and enjoy themselves as I slaved away. I don't miss those days.

[Mike70]

love to have to deal with those twist ties... BTW use a pair of wire cutters...it seemed to be the fastest thing! whoever invented those things ought to be crucified in public as warning to all toy designers. dear god, the time i spent liberating my son's toys from those damn things and yes, i finally broke down, skippy, and got out a cutting implement commiserate to the task. some of that shit you need a quarter stick of dynamite to get out of the damn packaging. not to mention the endless and varied sizes of batteries you need...

[blind2d]

Y'know what would solve all this? Go old school! Maybe a wooden boat or jigsaw puzzle doesn't look as appealing to the modern child, but they contain just as much fun if that child has any imagination! End the conspiracy of the evil Plastic Empire! In my day we went to the skateboard store, set one up, and rode it around! And we liked it!