I Really Could Use Some Advice. Very Serious Situation.

[MikePizzoff]

Remind your girlfriend of the fact that you made extremely drastic changes in your life for her. Tell her that she needs to consider making some for you. Maybe you guys could live in Michigan during spring/summer then go to LV/CA during fall/winter and stay with her sisters?

[Publius]

Darn, Murrieta?? I live in Temecula. I've been to that Best Buy many times. Listen to Philly Swat I just got back from Florida and as a native Californian I think Florida is a better spot to live in lol. TRAITOR!!!

[SymphonicX]

So it comes down to this: your gf wants to stay in Cali and you are divided between Cali and Michigan because of the practicalities? Easy solution: talk diplomatically with your gf. take into consideration your family, your thoughts/feelings and hers too. Weigh up the inbalances and let her know that her happiness is just as important as yours. Remember you crossed the country for her family, and made a sacrifice for something that really wasn't your problem...that was very noble and a nice thing to do, she's got to meet you halfway and there HAS to be a middle ground. If it's not practical for your education or your future to be in Cali, then it's not practical for her's either...she may enjoy it there but if there's no financial commitments or obligations that aren't avoidable then you both have to find somewhere to go. Whatever you do make it YOUR decision collectively, no one should be making a huge sacrifice for the sake of anyone else.

[axlish]

I think your first action should be to marry your girlfirend and quit dicking around. Six years is long enough to decide whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Put that ring on her finger and all decisions regarding your future will be decided together and agreed upon. Leaving each other should not be an option unless that is something that you both want to do. College isn't going anywhere. Take your time and make a wise choice. Florida is just like any other place. There are great areas but there are a lot of trashy areas as well. Our sales tax is lower, and once you get above Orlando, the people get a lot less snobbier, but rednecks run rampant as well.

[SymphonicX]

I been with my gf for 7 years...we have no intention of getting married - marriage is a fallacy anyway.

[Tricky]

I think your first action should be to marry your girlfirend and quit dicking around. Six years is long enough to decide whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with her. . Thats debatable actually,i spent 5 years with a girl i'm no longer with & i met her when i was 20,feelings & plans for life can change,especially at that age

[Yojimbo]

Thats debatable actually,i spent 5 years with a girl i'm no longer with & i met her when i was 20,feelings & plans for life can change,especially at that age Once again, I agree with Tricky: marriage is a heavy decision at age 20, and should not be entered into just out of convenience or because you think that it is the thing to do after being together for a number of years. IMO, romantic love for one another should not be the only reasons that a couple should take into consideration before they make the decision to be wed. Florida is just like any other place. There are great areas but there are a lot of trashy areas as well. Axlish is correct: All places, including Florida, are going to have their good points and bad points, but if homesickness is the primary reason for wanting to leave California, then you will be likely to feel just as homesick in Florida, Nevada, or Hawaii for that matter.

[MikePizzoff]

I think your first action should be to marry your girlfirend and quit dicking around. Six years is long enough to decide whether or not you want to spend the rest of your life with her. Put that ring on her finger Thats debatable actually,i spent 5 years with a girl i'm no longer with & i met her when i was 20,feelings & plans for life can change,especially at that age Tricky's right. Last winter I got out of a 5 and a half year relationship. I thought for sure I was spending the rest of my life with the girl but, like Tricky said, sh1t happens. Whatever you do: do not ask her to marry you!!!

[lullubelle]

wow, sugar, sorry to hear all this, but as a mother of a 22 year old I think you are home sick, you are used to Michigan, home is there, family is there, friends are there, leaving the nest is hard you should see how hard it was for my son, kept coming over everyday, even told his girlfriend nobody cooks like Mom, that as you imagine did not help him much with her, but he has been gone, let me refraise that, he moved out, 3 years ago, now he calls once a week, and yes I hear how much he misses home in his voice, but as a modern mother I am 42, I decided that he has to make his own life and at times it's hard for me to pretend that I am ok with him being married and here, but I guess what I am trying to say is that all of us have gone through something like this and you have to decide on what is best for you and at least not knock the situation you are in before you really get a chance to see if it works, you might be depressed because you are holding on to Michigan, let it go from your mind, keep it in your heart, make sure you call you folks at least once a week, and if the chance arises and you can go visit do, and make the most of it, we all go through this, I moved to NY in 1988, my was 2, my daughter was 5 month old, it's been 20 years and I still miss my Mom, can you belive that, but I know now that it was the right move for my family, home will always be there, it will never go away, be strong sugar, you will be ok, I made you will too, and remeber no matter where you are you are home as long as you carry all the good memories and rember you parents teachings, be well sugar.

[Mike70]

first off are you the youngest boy in your family or the first one to move out? if so, that probably has a lot to do with the way your parents are reacting. the idea that your child doesn't need you (for material support) any longer can be a tough pill for a parent to swallow. never, ever, ever let your family stand in the way of your own personal happiness. it is your life and you are certainly old enough to decide how you want to conduct it, where you want to live and who you want to spend it with. it does sound like you are homesick. feeling that way sucks big time but it will pass as you get used to new surroundings, new state, new people, etc. as far as your relationship goes, only you can really know where your heart lies. what is it saying to you? the fact that you uprooted yourself and moved to nevada and then moved again to california to be with her speaks volumes to me.

[Yojimbo]

even told his girlfriend nobody cooks like Mom, that as you imagine did not help him much with her Lullubelle, I cringed on behalf of your son when I read that, but if it's any consolation to him he should know he's not the only guy ever to make that sort of mistake.

[3pidemiC]

first off are you the youngest boy in your family or the first one to move out? if so, that probably has a lot to do with the way your parents are reacting. the idea that your child doesn't need you (for material support) any longer can be a tough pill for a parent to swallow. . I'm the middle child. My older brother moved out about 4 years ago. But he moved only a city away. I guess it's a lot different for them because it was across the country for me.

[SymphonicX]

wow, sugar, sorry to hear all this, but as a mother of a 22 year old I think you are home sick, you are used to Michigan, home is there, family is there, friends are there, leaving the nest is hard you should see how hard it was for my son, kept coming over everyday, even told his girlfriend nobody cooks like Mom, that as you imagine did not help him much with her, but he has been gone, let me refraise that, he moved out, 3 years ago, now he calls once a week, and yes I hear how much he misses home in his voice, but as a modern mother I am 42, I decided that he has to make his own life and at times it's hard for me to pretend that I am ok with him being married and here, but I guess what I am trying to say is that all of us have gone through something like this and you have to decide on what is best for you and at least not knock the situation you are in before you really get a chance to see if it works, you might be depressed because you are holding on to Michigan, let it go from your mind, keep it in your heart, make sure you call you folks at least once a week, and if the chance arises and you can go visit do, and make the most of it, we all go through this, I moved to NY in 1988, my was 2, my daughter was 5 month old, it's been 20 years and I still miss my Mom, can you belive that, but I know now that it was the right move for my family, home will always be there, it will never go away, be strong sugar, you will be ok, I made you will too, and remeber no matter where you are you are home as long as you carry all the good memories and rember you parents teachings, be well sugar. Jeeze I moved out at 19 years old and didn't call home for a year!! lol....

[lullubelle]

Jeeze I moved out at 19 years old and didn't call home for a year!! lol.... Sugar, considered yourself adopted

[3pidemiC]

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