Welcome to Zombiewood Pines
We’ve all heard the story. Eco-terrorists attacked a secret government facility, releasing an experimental neurotoxin that caused the dead to walk the earth. Within two months, the planet was overrun with zombies, and over 82% of the world’s population succumbed to the onslaught.
But, you know what? Life goes on. And, we, the survivors, know that even after the zombie apocalypse, we still want the same things: family, security, and a way to live our lives without random attacks from the walking dead. So, we come here, to Zombiewood Pines, the safest* gated community in the Santa Clara mountains, where we live with a focus on building strong, 100% living families and raising our youngsters in the values that we, ourselves, subscribe to: pride, resilience, and a violent hatred for anything that won’t stay down.
As we all know, life has changed since the zombie apocalypse. Our parents never had to learn how to surf the internet or perform limb amputations on their own family members before the virus spreads to their brain, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy the same simple pleasures that made our country great. Barbecues, block parties, and borrowing a chain gun from the neighbors can still be enjoyed behind the protective gates and motorized turrets of Zombiewood Pines.
So, when you see me at the Farmer’s Market, say hi, save me one of Mrs. Dorsey’s famous peach turnovers, and don’t forget your recyclable grocery bags, or your ammunition. And, welcome to Zombiewood Pines.
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The Zombiewood Pines Home Owners Association cites a maximum of three zombie attacks per day per 200 residents. That’s thirteen less than the national average!
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Originally Posted by blind2d
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