holy f-*-c-k! i hate actors!!!!

[Danny]

allright so im posting away on hpotd as usual and i post in one of the thread s something about old stlye slasher films like texas chain saw an' that and i finally get the gusto to be arsed to write a script. which i do and its so good im really taking the film seriously and the writing was awesome i just needed a location for my 'bring back slasher films' project (couldnt think up a name yet), so i look and look but its all the same places from my younger amatuer films, but im really trying to give it that professional edge right? so im driving with my mom to drop our old sofa off at a homeless shelter since we dont need it no more and as we head through stafforshire....which is nothing but countryside ala lord of the rings shire style, i see strachting achres of untamed woodlands, and if you remember i said in another post how i found in this area a cobblestone road and bits of an old gallows and crap right?....probably not, anyhoo i now had a script and a location. but i better stop this story to explain the films story a little, so heres the skinny (hey ive never said that before ). for some reason i aint going to elaborate on now as it gives away some stuff theres a family of mad ,murderous inbreeding people, descended from a shunned paranoid noble family from back in medieval times, village was abandoned becuase nobles got more adn more mental but they stayed there for the generations ect, ect. im sure you get the idea. they bascally think ''everyone else has dirty blood but we are pure others just dont deserve to live", yadda ,yadda ,yadda. no problem ill find people to play most of em but a problem would soon arise. but i need to eplain the 'slash-ees'. since its set in the woods that have grown over an old town theres rumors and sutch that leads three groups of sorts into the woods. 1: 3 goth girls into the whole "wiccan thing" (yes i did the doctor evil hand quote thing ) they go in to burn candles and pray to ''the godess'' adn all that jazz but get lost (yes at least one will die in the first half hour ) one is brave headstrong, ect and is the heroin of the story other two are your basic fodder that look up to her. 2:group of ghost hunters (cough-nerds!-cough) that go in to investigate rumors they meet up with the girls and head into the ruined town. 3:guy and his girlfreind rob local store and hogh tail it outta there but decide to avoid cops by taking dissuesd road (yeah there dead fast) they crash bike and get lost in woods team up with other guys as they make gruesome discovery and **** unfolds. simple casting huh? you got brave girl crybaby girls nerds brave nerd who becomes unlikely hero 'bad boy' plus abligotory blond bad girl (SO dead! ) and "the family" the group of bizaare nutters in the ruins. simple, since i live inbetween city and countryside i can get a varied cast from freinds and contacts but heres the deal that sparked this problem... the lead crazy. the leader of this so called ''family'', since this was a serious script no tongue in cheeck jokes or bruce cambell quotes in it i felt to really capture the evil twisted mind of him who for the sake of argument well call...duke red. see i wanted viewers to get the whole overview adn the moment they see him go "oh yeah, hes ****ing crazy as hell", kinda like a cross between the long haired guy from house of 1000 corpses and the ultmate bad guy , lord summerisle from the wicker man, i saw this duke red as a cross between the two, one minute calculating and cruel the next pyschotic and well....freakin' daffy. so no freinds could play this part, so i posted something at my college message board : "director danny smith looking for male actor willing to play a lead role in indie slasher film , non profit more of a prove your talent and get your name out there kinda gig, if interested me email at...." going well right?, cool script, cool cast ,so far, awesome location since my contacts in the building industry my nerdy love of warhammer and making the terrain and my own imagination meant for no money i could make a decent set so far in the woos no one would **** with it , and if they did it would just look more natural anyway. oh and a kickass dircetor, becuase like all directors (and i mean all kiddies) were legend sin our own minds who think were "BAD ASS MOTHER ****ERS!" to quote jim carrey well i get a few replys form drama students. ...and, rather confusingly, a reply from a guy saying i stole his name.... two were good, very good but wanted paying, and i wanted to make something for nothing, just to see if i could y'know? then in comes "number 16" a mr. knights, i aint gonna say his first name cus i think hed probably sue if he found out i mentioned him by name later in life,lol. anywya he pulls off creepy dead well, has the walk to match the talk and suits the part to a T. thats were the problems started. we start filming and we have a great day, even though a freind wrote on the directors chair i got off ebay "cock-master" in tip-ex. day two a building aka curbmling front we ran over with car to make it look "authentic" gets set alit by my stoner freind dropping a match on flammable paint that wasnt completely dry. note - this is the jay to my silent bob i mentioned in another thread. i got ****ed to which he replyed "yo, calm down hodge-podge muther ****a!" which made us all laugh but oh no, not mr knights, he calls him a "neanderthal". to which we have to pull this guy away before he clocks mr knights, and after another day of putting down all the other actors im wanting to kill this guy, but his acting is really, really good im ashamed to say so i put up with it. but then next weekedn sicne we filmed each free sunday or other i get a call from a girl playing on of the goth girls she says she hurt her wrist ,i ask how and she says mr knights pushed her when she said she didnt wawnt to go out with him when he asked. so he shows up and calls her a "lying slag of an extra, and dead wieght that needs to be dropped". now ive known this girl for about a decade and she wouldnt lie. needless to say i punched the bastard and told him to get lost, but now we gotta recast, and re film, no bigee really i just hate scoping for actors as the student ones are all premaddonnas. bastards.

[dethhead]

first off what the hell is wrong with you? but im really trying to give it that professional edge right?. gets set alit by my stoner freind dropping a match on flammable paint that wasnt completely dry. note - this is the jay to my silent bob i mentioned in another thread. i got ****ed to which he replyed "yo, calm down hodge-podge muther ****a!" which made us all laugh but oh no, not mr knights, he calls him a "neanderthal". to which we have to pull this guy away before he clocks mr knights needless to say i punched the bastard you set out to make a professional movie and you do all that **** above? you get angry at him for calling someone a neanderthal and your friend wants to have a go at him because of THAT? are you out of your mind? a word of advice if you set out to make a professional movie and you fail try to think that maybe its not the actors fault. for some reason i aint going to elaborate on now as it gives away some stuff theres a family of mad ,murderous inbreeding people, descended from a shunned paranoid noble family from back in medieval times, village was abandoned becuase nobles got more adn more mental but they stayed there for the generations ect, ect. im sure you get the idea. they bascally think ''everyone else has dirty blood but we are pure others just dont deserve to live", yadda ,yadda ,yadda.: simple casting huh? you got brave girl crybaby girls nerds brave nerd who becomes unlikely hero 'bad boy' plus abligotory blond bad girl (SO dead! ) and "the family" the group of bizaare nutters in the ruins. wow. stereotypical story and character, im sorry but i think you also forgot the tolken black guy that gets killed as well. you could try oh i dont know maybe try offering something new to the slasher genre instead of doing a bad imitation of it.

[Danny]

first off what the hell is wrong with you? you set out to make a professional movie and you do all that **** above? you get angry at him for calling someone a neanderthal and your friend wants to have a go at him because of THAT? are you out of your mind? a word of advice if you set out to make a professional movie and you fail try to think that maybe its not the actors fault. okay first off its just a fun thing to do with freinds no festivals so i aint bothered about the story an all that i know its bad but theres two things: 1: that all the **** above you quoted was one thing. 2: i didnt list all the things this guy did over the period he was also racist, late constantly but i thought the fact that he called my freind "dead wieght" and a "Lying slag" was reason enough now she has her wrist in a splint and cant use it, he literally grabbed her shoulders and pushed her over like he had add or something. my point is the movie didnt matter i just used that as an example of why this guy was a complete jerk to everyone, simple as. so yeah when a guys hurt my freind taken the **** out of others and said behind there back to me "god that chinkys a bit up himself int'e?" ,yeah i was ****ed at him. the posts an example/ rant of actors who are complete bastards thts all dude so chill out man, all but one of your posts is just directly insulting people, if you want a flame war you aint gonna get one so chill out man in the grand scheme of things is what i filmed with freinds for a laugh really gonna effect your life in any way?

[DjfunkmasterG]

you set out to make a professional movie and you do all that **** above? you get angry at him for calling someone a neanderthal and your friend wants to have a go at him because of THAT? are you out of your mind? a word of advice if you set out to make a professional movie and you fail try to think that maybe its not the actors fault. wow. stereotypical story and character, im sorry but i think you also forgot the tolken black guy that gets killed as well. you could try oh i dont know maybe try offering something new to the slasher genre instead of doing a bad imitation of it. No offense dethhead, but don't you think you are being an ass with your reply? I had a jackass on the set of DEADLANDS whom played one of the Military guys and we all called him Sgt. Superstar (He Kind of looks like Ty Burrell - Steve from DAWN 04) anyway, he came on the set spouting how he has been in this and that, and critiquing everyone's performance but his own. So in a lot of cases it is the actor. You can be nice and accomodating for only so long, but when you get an ass on the set you start to lose your patience slowly until you finally POP! I have had extra's annoy me to the point that I didn't invite them back because they constatly asked me for speaking parts or close-ups. I think Hellsing had enough of this guy and finally said Screw it.... and I don't blame him. Also, before you go cutting down someone's effort how about you list us your film resume. Or are you a couch critic?

[Danny]

No offense dethhead, but don't you think you are being an ass with your reply? I had a jackass on the set of DEADLANDS whom played one of the Military guys and we all called him Sgt. Superstar (He Kind of looks like Ty Burrell - Steve from DAWN 04) anyway, he came on the set spouting how he has been in this and that, and critiquing everyone's performance but his own. So in a lot of cases it is the actor. You can be nice and accomodating for only so long, but when you get an ass on the set you start to lose your patience slowly until you finally POP! I have had extra's annoy me to the point that I didn't invite them back because they constatly asked me for speaking parts or close-ups. I think Hellsing had enough of this guy and finally said Screw it.... and I don't blame him. Also, before you go cutting down someone's effort how about you list us your film resume. Or are you a couch critic? first off seargent superstar?, sounds like a pornstar or something so hes my hero for the day and second, i love the couch critics, cus people who actually direct try to see ''symbolism'' of **** like a milk bottle in the back ground but couch critics simply tell you if it sucks or not, and are more valuable to indie film than those bastards who get paid to critisice your work, the clues in the damn name! im sorry but i think you also forgot the tolken black guy. wait, the guy who wrote the lord of the rings was black? ....im sorry i couldnt help myself

[DjfunkmasterG]

I hate couch critics... Because their simple problem is they compare everything to high budget ($500,000 or more) stuff. They don't look at the work for what it is. I much prefer the criticism of a fellow filmmaker as opposed to someone who has never been on a set or even made an attempt at making their own film. Don't get me wrong.... when something sounds like sh*t or looks like sh*t by all means call it sh*t. However, until you see something it is best to keep your mouth shut.

[Danny]

I hate couch critics... Because their simple problem is they compare everything to high budget ($500,000 or more) stuff. They don't look at the work for what it is. I much prefer the criticism of a fellow filmmaker as opposed to someone who has never been on a set or even made an attempt at making their own film. Don't get me wrong.... when something sounds like sh*t or looks like sh*t by all means call it sh*t. However, until you see something it is best to keep your mouth shut. and the sad thing is we still say "no offence but..." but yeah, if its **** and you do mean offence ,say it fig.1 "THAT ****IN' SUCKED MAN, THAT WAS **** ,OH MY GOD I WANNA PULL MY EYES OUT, PUKE EM UP THEN EAT EM THEN **** EM, THATS HOW ****IN' BAD THAT FILM WAS, I THOUGHT THE POSTMAN WAS BAD BUT, PPPPEEEEYEEEWWW" see?, something with an air of sophistication and good manners

[DjfunkmasterG]

I have seen a few of those films... Vampires Vs. Zombies Children of the Living Dead House of the Dead The list goes on...

[MinionZombie]

Jiminy Jeeeeeeeeesus, I think that's the longest post you've ever, ever made (not that I'm complaining of course). As for p*ssy actors, I haven't dealt with any thus far thankfully, any actors I get involved are my good mates and I used them more than once, so we all get along quite well. I personally haven't had any problems with actors, but no doubt I will at some point in my life, and then I'll start flying my fists into their faces to get them to shut up, ha! Some people can be total dicks and some people just think they're the best thing on the planet, I've no time for such people. If you know your place in the grand scheme, that's enough for me.

[dethhead]

first off my apologies hellsing i didnt know he was also racist, perhaps you could have said that as well. second the point i was trying to make about your story is that for low budget movies your script is the strongest asset you have, if its just like every other movie then noone will care, it has to be something new and different or at least offer great scares and characters that are more then stereotypical, id love to see a horror movie with characters you grow to like and care for then get killed in front of your eyes, now thats horror.

[Danny]

see dj?, couch critics aint so bad, and talking about the script i recently saw the omega man and wouldnt you know it, the bad guys in that are called "the family" so **** that idea, plus im working on somthing of a zombie one, that only needs like 3 people and some zombies banging on walls outside and **** plus shot blair witch style, sounds crap i know but its should be a good laugh. and ive decided to try my hand at acting as ....*drumroll*.... "zombie number 3" dun-da-da-da-dun-dun-da-duuuuuuuuuuuuu!