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Thread: While watching Critters 4 I had an epiphany...

  1. #1
    has the velocity Mike70's Avatar
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    While watching Critters 4 I had an epiphany...

    and it was this: Somewhere, quite early in life, I became addicted to shit. Let's be real and honest. I'm certainly not trashing the genre or movies we all love, this is my realization as a fan that this is shit. Entertaining, diverting, mildly worthy of conversation, shit.

    example:
    The original Dawn is shit. It's not even well made shit but I still love it. Why? I ask myself. The imagination required to watch shit? Yes. The love of the people for their craft who made the shit, not really wanting it to be shit? Yes.

    Most of this stuff is shit. It requires a suspension of disbelief that nearly equals brain death but we still love it, buy it and keep coming back. Why? Because our shit is better than the shit about doctors and cops and fuckin' lawyers. That's shit that is neither imaginative nor entertaining. Our shit requires storytelling, a sense of wonder, awe, and the notion that maybe humans are not really the shit after all.

    My fascination with shit knows no bounds nor much decency either. Every piece of shit, from every shit genre in the western world has graced my eyes. The Italians with their gaudy sense of violence and incredibly tasteful sense of beauty amaze me. Plus the titles of Italian shit rock: The Red Queen Kills Seven Times, Death Walks on High Heels, Blood and Black Lace, Your Vice is a Locked Room and Only I Have the Key - Top that shit!
    German shit is great too. Stuffy, overthought but it's great shit. See Nosferatu (both versions) and M.
    British shit with its sense of color, class, and hot women galore. If there have ever been hotter chicks in pieces of shit than Caroline Munro, Stephanie Beacham, and Ingrid Pitt, please show me. The British gave us the massive shit house known as Hammer, which turned out pieces of grand, epic, everlasting shit for 25 years.
    And America - I love thy shit with my whole heart.

    Our stuff is shit and it is THE shit.
    Last edited by Mike70; 01-Apr-2021 at 01:02 AM. Reason: my mom told me
    "The bumps you feel are asteroids smashing into the hull."

  2. #2
    Zombie Flesh Eater EvilNed's Avatar
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    I think part of the reason is that these movies don't cost a lot, which also puts less pressure on them to actually make sense.
    As a consequence there's a tendency to experiment more in these movies. For good or bad.

  3. #3
    through another dimension bassman's Avatar
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    Did anyone else hear George Carlin’s voice while reading all that shit?

  4. #4
    Team Rick MinionZombie's Avatar
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    Woah, steady yourself with the very liberal use of "shit".

    Dawn is actually a really well made movie. They're on a very tight budget, but the actual filmmaking - the cinematography and editing especially - are superb. There's been low budget filmmakers with triple that budget who have made dull, draggy, plain looking, uninspiring dreck - whereas Romero & Co made an all-time classic.

    I don't think I share your use of "shit" in regards to these movies. There are movies like "Dial: Help" or "Hell Squad" that I'd say are much more fitting of the term, but are nonetheless enjoyable in the manner of which you speak.

    Critters 4, though? I do love that franchise, and while it's now not the worst of the Critters movies (that now goes to Critters Attack!), it was for a long time. I remember being so disappointed in that movie when I caught up with it on the BBC in the late 90s. I originally missed it because the day it was going to air we had a power surge and all the active electronic equipment was fucked - including the VCRs - so I had to wait like 9 to 12 months before it was shown again, and that didn't help with expectations. However, even if I had seen it when intended, I would have been quite disappointed with it.

  5. #5
    has the velocity Mike70's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bassman View Post
    Did anyone else hear George Carlin’s voice while reading all that shit?
    That may be the nicest thing anyone's ever said about me.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by MinionZombie View Post
    Woah, steady yourself with the very liberal use of "shit".

    Dawn is actually a really well made movie. They're on a very tight budget, but the actual filmmaking - the cinematography and editing especially - are superb. There's been low budget filmmakers with triple that budget who have made dull, draggy, plain looking, uninspiring dreck - whereas Romero & Co made an all-time classic.

    I don't think I share your use of "shit" in regards to these movies. There are movies like "Dial: Help" or "Hell Squad" that I'd say are much more fitting of the term, but are nonetheless enjoyable in the manner of which you speak.
    Read that shit over again, man. I may say it's poorly made shit but it's shit that I love. We have the inherent right as fans who've spent loads of time and money on this shit to poke fun at this shit. Dawn is a masterpiece as horror goes. That does NOT prevent it from being shit. Suspiria is one of the most magnificent films ever made in this shit genre and it's...shit too. It's beautiful, artistic as hell, Jessica Harper and Joan Bennett rock BUT...ya guessed it- it's shit.
    Last edited by Mike70; 02-Apr-2021 at 01:03 AM. Reason: YOUR mom told me to
    "The bumps you feel are asteroids smashing into the hull."

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