Rate the last movie you've seen

[MinionZombie]

Bullet Train A shed load of wham-bam action fun and violent humour from the director of Deadpool 2 and Atomic Blonde. A smattering of assassins and general bad guys find themselves all battling with each other on a bullet train charging through Japan. Bloody good fun, great cast, juicy action - bosh!

[Neil]

Black Adam - 6.5/10 A fairly formulaic super hero affair with The Rock, but certainly watchable.

[MinionZombie]

From Dusk Till Dawn 2: Texas Blood Money It gets off to a ropey start with a couple of dodgy shots and a rather cheap looking title splash on the screen, but after that it really whips itself into shape and slams its gleeful foot on the throttle for the remainder of this brisk and breezy flick. It's not got the same scale as the original movie, certainly not, but in terms of lower budgeted straight-to-video sequels go, this is an absolute cracker. Fans of director and co-writer Scott Spiegel's work on the 1980s gore-soaked slasher comedy "Intruder" will get a kick out of the myriad 'POV' shots strewn throughout this one, from oscillating fans to puddles of blood to being inside the mouth of a vampire as they chow down on some tender neck flesh, showing how Spiegel knows how to get a kick out of this sort of fare. In the hands of a lesser director this could've been a really pedestrian flick, but Spiegel & Co make this a hell of a fun ride. Eye of the Tiger Gary Busey (before he went off the deep end) stars as ex-con Buck, returning home to his dustbowl home town that has been taken over by a drug-running motorbike gang, who spend their free time terrorising the good folks of the town. It's fairly bog standard revenge action thriller stuff, with its downtrodden all-American hero taking some vigilante justice when the crooked local law enforcement won't do shit, so cue lots of slow motion shots of dirt bikes crashing through windows, punch-ups, shotgun-wielding, and a tricked-out 4x4 that could best be described as The A-Teams wet dream. Bonus points for a rather ingenius use for a stick of dynamite...   ...needing to know the location of the gang's hideout, Buck twists around a hospitalised gang member (bound to the bed with handcuffs already), and proceeds to slather a stick of dynamite with enough vaseline to soften the camera lenses of a hundred softcore porno shoots before shoving it up the biker's butt - he then lights the fuse and starts counting down, the biker scribbling the info on a pad of paper - the biker doesn't get blown up (this is a hospital after all), but his panic kills him! ...it's nothing special in the realm of genre pictures, but it's got all the entertaining nuts and bolts, even if the script is rather patchy and it seems to have been shot by two different people depending on the scene (some looks exceedingly pedestrian, while other scenes have some nice flair to them). I watched this on Amazon Prime and fuck me do they need to up their quality assurance game, because the copy they had on there was awful. It was in widescreen, but there was so much interlacing and 'jittering' to the already very standard definition picture that I almost switched off - and there was some truly dreadful digital corruption in a few scenes with artefacts, glitching audio, and everything else fucking things up even more. Fortunately, it only got that bad a couple of times and the film was overall watchable, despite the truly poor visual and aural presentation.

[JDP]

Eye of the Tiger Gary Busey (before he went off the deep end) stars as ex-con Buck, returning home to his dustbowl home town that has been taken over by a drug-running motorbike gang, who spend their free time terrorising the good folks of the town. It's fairly bog standard revenge action thriller stuff, with its downtrodden all-American hero taking some vigilante justice when the crooked local law enforcement won't do shit, so cue lots of slow motion shots of dirt bikes crashing through windows, punch-ups, shotgun-wielding, and a tricked-out 4x4 that could best be described as The A-Teams wet dream. Bonus points for a rather ingenius use for a stick of dynamite...   ...needing to know the location of the gang's hideout, Buck twists around a hospitalised gang member (bound to the bed with handcuffs already), and proceeds to slather a stick of dynamite with enough vaseline to soften the camera lenses of a hundred softcore porno shoots before shoving it up the biker's butt - he then lights the fuse and starts counting down, the biker scribbling the info on a pad of paper - the biker doesn't get blown up (this is a hospital after all), but his panic kills him! ...it's nothing special in the realm of genre pictures, but it's got all the entertaining nuts and bolts, even if the script is rather patchy and it seems to have been shot by two different people depending on the scene (some looks exceedingly pedestrian, while other scenes have some nice flair to them). I watched this on Amazon Prime and fuck me do they need to up their quality assurance game, because the copy they had on there was awful. It was in widescreen, but there was so much interlacing and 'jittering' to the already very standard definition picture that I almost switched off - and there was some truly dreadful digital corruption in a few scenes with artefacts, glitching audio, and everything else fucking things up even more. Fortunately, it only got that bad a couple of times and the film was overall watchable, despite the truly poor visual and aural presentation. This was made back at the time when actors like Arnie and Sly had become huge action movie stars, so everyone wanted to become one too, including the likes of Gary Busey and David Hasselhoff (see The Final Alliance) Another curious note about Eye of the Tiger: it also features veteran actors William Smith (friggin' Conan's father!) as the movie's main bad guy, and Yaphet Kotto (Parker in Alien!)

[MinionZombie]

In The Blood Gina Carano action flick. While on her honeymoon her husband is injured and taken to hospital, but instead he goes missing, presumably kidnapped - but by who and for what reason? It's a bit of a mixed bag, with the acting quality going on quite a rollercoaster journey (at times quite good, at times hugely underplayed in very strange contexts that would warrant more of a reaction than blank-face), but it's decent enough action/revenge-ish stuff with Carano on the rampage. A smidge over-long, but when it's clicking then it's good fun. Wanted: Dead or Alive Rutger Hauer is a former CIA man who's tasked with hunting down a Middle Eastern terrorist (played by Gene ruddy Simmons - who also dresses up as a Hisidic Jew at one point!). Hauer's character, now a bounty hunter, is the sort of chap who lives in a warehouse drive-in garage/man cave and likes to shoot his big shotgun first and ask questions later. Quite enjoyable stuff with various familiar character actor faces popping up here and there. Split Second From the director of 1981's The Burning (well, except for the finale, which was directed by someone else), this blend of sci-fi, horror, and action is set in the flood dystopian future London of 2008 (it was released in 1992) and there's a serial killer on the loose ripping out people's hearts. It's dripping with scrungy, gungy, slimy style and grubbiness, and it also brandishes a (mostly) keen sense of humour, turning it into a bit of a comedy caper at times in-between the leather sex clubs and mucky water-clogged alleyways. It's a bit of a mish-mash of a film, but it's never boring and gets the job done - a pleasant surprise. Daughter of the Wolf Single Mum Gina Carano's son has been kidnapped and she's gotta get him back. That's about it. Richard Dreyfuss is in it collecting a pay cheque, but I couldn't penetrate his character's obtuse backstory or that of his 'family'. Similarly, I never really bought that Carano's character was really old enough to have a kid who looked that old (even if it'd technically be possible) ... I just wasn't buying it, really. There's some lovely location photography in the snowy wilds of Alaska (IIRC), but there's only so much 'trudging through snow and not shooting any motherfuckers' one can stand. There's packs of wolves roaming around as a threat of sorts, but they come and go so much their connection to the story never really works, and the attempts to link Carano and the wolves on some primeval level just feels cheesy. Not enough action, and Carano can't really crack on with her skills as she's so bound-up in warm clothing (unsurprisingly - it looks perishing out there!), and the story, plot, and characters all felt decidedly under-developed. Disappointing, albeit nicely shot.

[Neil]

Knock at the Cabin - 7.5/10 A M Night Shyamalan affair which IMHO works very well. The absolute less you know the better - Don't even watch a trailer. And Dave Bautista impresses with a nice controlled performance.

[MinionZombie]

Leprechaun I'd never seen any of these movies - until now! So, the first one ... the tone's a bit unsure about whether it wants to be a comedy or a horror, but it certainly can't muster any real horror (especially while being quite tame in terms of any kills or menace), but it works fairly well as a goofy monster flick. Of course, the big draw is Jennifer Aniston in her none-more-1990s denim shorts ... ... *drifts into reverie* ... ... where was I? Oh yeah, you could tell she had the x-factor from the get-go and she certainly makes this a fun watch. Also interesting to note that the actor playing the mentally-challenged painter guy would play the title role in "Gacy", which was one of those slew of movies from the early 2000s about serial killers (incidentally, "Gacy" was a pretty bad movie, a structural mess with a shoddy script and sloppy editing than wasn't a patch on it's closest rivals: Ed Gein, Bundy, Dahmer, and The Hillside Stranglers). Anyway, not nearly as 'bad' as it is often made out to be, but certainly not as good as it could have been. Leprechaun 2 This one was a bit dull, even if the whole idea of the gold-loving imp trying to find a bridge once every thousand years had some promise. The main stumbling block is the human characters, who are just so boring and uninteresting that the movie really struggles (okay, the drunk old guy was fun). A couple of moments here and there, but generally a real let down. Leprechaun 3 The best one by far. This time we're in Las Vegas, so that adds some cheesy glamour to proceedings with plenty of japes relating to greed and wishes gone wrong. Brian Trenchard Smith is in the director's chair (he did the likes of Dead End Drive-In and BMX Bandits), and you can see the quality of his direction on a low budget here from the get-go. There's more focus on some 'rules' of the monster, which had been a bit vague in the previous films, there's some good action, some T&A, and a much more assured tone. Bonus points for Caroline Williams (Stretch from TCM2). The leprechaun's rhyming couplets are a nice touch, but they're used waaaaaaay too much and become grating by the end of the movie. Still, this is the best of the bunch as far as I'm concerned. Leprechaun 4: In Space It always ends up in space, doesn't it? *glances at Jason and the Critters* The previous one was at one point supposed to be the final film in the franchise, but did so well this one was rushed into production. Even BTS can't save this turkey, which boasts plasticky set design, some truly appalling CGI (which the director described himself as being 'sub playstation one'), a dull plot, but does benefit from Debbe Dunning (Home Improvements fans will remember her as Heidi the Binford Tool Girl) and Guy Siner, who is in full-on evil German scientist mode as, well, an evil German scientist (yes, the same Guy Siner who was in the long-running British WW2 sitcom "Allo Allo"). The effects are sloppy and cheap beyond the point of being campy fun and into the realm of laziness/zero budget remaining, and it's just so boring most of the time. The 'big finale' has some novelty, but it's far too little far too late. Side note: the helicopter gunner from Full Metal Jacket is in this movie playing a Marine Sergeant with a big metal plate covering half his head. This one represented enough Leprechaun movies for me, so I'm ducking out of the franchise at this point. I'll stick with my Gremlins and Critters and Ghoulies, ta.

[JDP]

Leprechaun I'd never seen any of these movies - until now! So, the first one ... the tone's a bit unsure about whether it wants to be a comedy or a horror, but it certainly can't muster any real horror (especially while being quite tame in terms of any kills or menace), but it works fairly well as a goofy monster flick. Of course, the big draw is Jennifer Aniston in her none-more-1990s denim shorts ... ... *drifts into reverie* ... ... where was I? Oh yeah, you could tell she had the x-factor from the get-go and she certainly makes this a fun watch. Also interesting to note that the actor playing the mentally-challenged painter guy would play the title role in "Gacy", which was one of those slew of movies from the early 2000s about serial killers (incidentally, "Gacy" was a pretty bad movie, a structural mess with a shoddy script and sloppy editing than wasn't a patch on it's closest rivals: Ed Gein, Bundy, Dahmer, and The Hillside Stranglers). Anyway, not nearly as 'bad' as it is often made out to be, but certainly not as good as it could have been. Leprechaun 2 This one was a bit dull, even if the whole idea of the gold-loving imp trying to find a bridge once every thousand years had some promise. The main stumbling block is the human characters, who are just so boring and uninteresting that the movie really struggles (okay, the drunk old guy was fun). A couple of moments here and there, but generally a real let down. Leprechaun 3 The best one by far. This time we're in Las Vegas, so that adds some cheesy glamour to proceedings with plenty of japes relating to greed and wishes gone wrong. Brian Trenchard Smith is in the director's chair (he did the likes of Dead End Drive-In and BMX Bandits), and you can see the quality of his direction on a low budget here from the get-go. There's more focus on some 'rules' of the monster, which had been a bit vague in the previous films, there's some good action, some T&A, and a much more assured tone. Bonus points for Caroline Williams (Stretch from TCM2). The leprechaun's rhyming couplets are a nice touch, but they're used waaaaaaay too much and become grating by the end of the movie. Still, this is the best of the bunch as far as I'm concerned. Leprechaun 4: In Space It always ends up in space, doesn't it? *glances at Jason and the Critters* The previous one was at one point supposed to be the final film in the franchise, but did so well this one was rushed into production. Even BTS can't save this turkey, which boasts plasticky set design, some truly appalling CGI (which the director described himself as being 'sub playstation one'), a dull plot, but does benefit from Debbe Dunning (Home Improvements fans will remember her as Heidi the Binford Tool Girl) and Guy Siner, who is in full-on evil German scientist mode as, well, an evil German scientist (yes, the same Guy Siner who was in the long-running British WW2 sitcom "Allo Allo"). The effects are sloppy and cheap beyond the point of being campy fun and into the realm of laziness/zero budget remaining, and it's just so boring most of the time. The 'big finale' has some novelty, but it's far too little far too late. Side note: the helicopter gunner from Full Metal Jacket is in this movie playing a Marine Sergeant with a big metal plate covering half his head. This one represented enough Leprechaun movies for me, so I'm ducking out of the franchise at this point. I'll stick with my Gremlins and Critters and Ghoulies, ta. Oh, but then you'll miss the next one, which happens "in the Hood". It did not end up "in Space" with this franchise.

[MinionZombie]

Oh, but then you'll miss the next one, which happens "in the Hood". It did not end up "in Space" with this franchise. I know, but I think I've had my fill.

[MinionZombie]

Nekromantik Well ... I can say that I've seen this movie ... ... and I can also say that I never want to see it again. Fucking rank! All that squishy, slimey, gooey necrophiliac goings on (e.g. eyeball sucking!) just super gave me the shivers and grossed me out - and that's a real rarity for a well-versed horror hound like myself. It's rare to find a film that truly just makes you go "yuck!" and "never again!", heh. Fun fact: the cinema scene features audio clips from Zombie Flesh Eaters, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and The Burning. Saw this as part of The Last Drive-In with Joe Bob Briggs (their recent Valentine's Day special, accompanied by Phantom of the Mall: Eric's Revenge), and it does at least have an interesting story behind it with German laws against violence in media and the punk scene of the nation when it was still split East/West.

[Neil]

^ You'll need to watch the sequel now...

[MinionZombie]

^ You'll need to watch the sequel now... Nope.

[MinionZombie]

The Godfather III, Coda: The Death of Michael Corleone Popped up on Film4 the other day, so gave it a spin. I'd only seen the third movie once before I don't know how many years ago, but I remember distinctly not liking it. Partly that would be down to my age at the time and my film viewing tastes etc, but it was also arguably not a good movie. So how's this version? Well, I had to look up online the differences, but I can certainly say that I found much more to like about this movie not only now but in this cut of the movie. The story feels more focused and the themes feel more cohesive, and despite still feeling a bit disjointed from the original two movies (it always was going to feel like and always will just because of the very different times and contexts in which both movies were made), it still fits in pretty well as a closing chapter (e.g. building upon Corleone's attempts to 'go legit' and introducing the highest and most powerful of all 'mafia families' - the Vatican). Now, there are aspects that still don't work ... let's be honest, Sofia Coppola is a good director and found her filmmaking niche there, but she was never cut out for acting, and she still feels quite uncomfortable on-screen here. Also, what's the point in Bridget Fonda's character? She seems like she's going to be a part of this somehow (especially as a journalist), but all she does is shag Michael's nephew, witness a bit of mafia violence, and then vanishes entirely from the movie. Pointless. I still think that the original movie is the best movie over all, certainly from Michael's perspective as a character, because he has a much better arc in #1 than in #2 (where Vito Corleone gets the dominant character and story arc). Sure, there's the stuff with Fredo, but in #2 Michael goes from mafia boss to more evil mafia boss, whereas in the first movie he goes from a war hero refusing anything to do with the family business to being crowned the new Godfather and disappearing behind a closed door. I'd even contend that Michael has a better character and story arc in #3 than he does in #2. So aye, the Coda Cut is worth watching to reassess the movie. I found much more to like this time around and it maybe gets overplayed a bit that #3 is the shitty dead duck of the trilogy. Does it have flaws? Sure it does. Does it match the first two? No, it never had a chance of doing so. However, I think it's generally a pretty good movie. Perhaps it suffered a bit from feeling out-of-place as Goodfellas, an all-time gangster classic, came out in the same year?

[beat_truck]

Savage Streets (1984) w/ Linda Blair, Linea Quigley, and John Vernon Teenage (actors who were in their mid 20s) revenge / vigilante justice / exploitation flick. Lots of boobs and bush, hammy acting, big hair, and black leather. Don't know why I started watching it. I just came across it on archive.org. I almost shut it off early on thinking I wasn't going to like it, but it turned out to be some pretty decent 80s cheese. 6/10

[Neil]

65 - A fairly run of the mill scifi escape affair, but well done and enjoyable. 7/10