Things you learned from Movies

[Doc]

All hillbillies are cannibals, rapists or psychopaths. Sharks are capable of holding grudges. Look everywhere but Coke and Pepsi are never displayed in the same shop. Clowns are funny. The future is REALLY gonna suck. English is the official language of THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE

[DjfunkmasterG]

The joker is not really that funny, he is really a homicidal maniac that gets amused of the suffering he brings others.

[Doc]

In the morning, your parents are always in the kitchen and will ask you if you're hungry or want some coffee. Your dad reads the newspaper as your mom makes pancakes. Parents are oblivious to your troubles, and blame it all on "those scary movies", or "moving-in stress", or "puberty", no matter how much proof of a situation you have, they always stick with their accusations. Someone thrown off an overpass always lands IN or ON a car. Nerds always carry a huge stack of textbooks, even if nobody else is seen carrying one. When PERSON 1 is in peril, with the bad guy close at hand and holding a knife up to stab, a simple, "Stop right there!" by PERSON 2 will cause the killer to stop and turn around. Drive-ins play movies from all time periods simultaneously.

[SRP76]

As long as you're an asshole criminal, you can take a direct blow to the face with a sledgehammer swung in full baseball bat-style and keep attacking the poor frightened woman, even though such a blow would insta-kill any other human being on Earth. Bad guys will always, without fail, find a way to corner you, rough you up, and threaten your family (since they already have them, no matter what you do or where they happened to be). You probably shouldn't f*ck with the little Okinawan guy and his bonsai. All adults suck and "just don't understand", because teenagers are the only people that know how the world works. Even if you wanted to close the beaches, you'll get blamed for the kid getting eaten by the shark, just because you've got a badge. Any black man convicted of a crime is automatically innocent; it's just the system keeping him down (except Morgan Freeman, he was the only guilty man in Shawshank). Despite the time portal being destroyed, Skynet can keep sending more and more advanced Terminators into the past from further and further in the future.

[DeadJonas190]

Some more learnings from movies If it's a Stephen King movie, it will most likely end with fire and or an explosion. The woman who is infertile, will always become pregnant by movies end or sometimes during the opening credits. A radioactive spider will give you super powers. If a guy in a clown suit gives you a map to a hanging tree, it may no be a good idea to pick up hitchikers along the way, no matter how hot they may be. Never take the shortcut through the woods If your going to Amsterdam to chase the girl of your dreams, do not bring an electric bong on the plane, it can only lead to problems. If an old wizard asks you which finger has the most power, always pick your own. Never cross the beams. Nicholas Angel had never fired two guns whilst jumping through the air until he was transfered to a small town. thats all for tonight.

[DjfunkmasterG]

Propane tanks make great bombs when shot at with high power rifles. Parking shuttles can be transformed into tough and secure people movers during an undead apocalypse. A good cure for boredom when stuck in amall surround by zombies is to try on womans clothing and shoes. Virgins always survive the most deadly of nights.

[bassman]

All life as we know it stopping instaneously and every molecule in our bodies exploding at the speed of light is bad. It's not who we are underneath, but what we do that defines us. You never go full retard. You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villian. Stupid is as stupid does. Only two things come from Texas - steers and queers. All work and no play makes jack a dull boy. Get busy living, or get busy dying. You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your f*cking khakis. You're the all singing and all dancing crap of the world.

[Yojimbo]

You guys kill me. Too hilarious!

[Khardis]

When you fall off of a building, any building you will land on a parked car. girls with glasses, a pony tail and bad clothing, are always beautiful when you take off their glasses let their hair down and dress them up in time for prom. After a cop shoots and kills a bad guy they will always spring back to life before being killed again. when you have your throat cut, you die immediately, no choking.

[acealive1]

when you go back in time, theres no paradox (end of the world) consequences for occupying the same space as your double........ok well timecop did right by it. but not any other movie.

[Doc]

Policemen never believe the hero/heroine until it's too late. Policemen usually come in pairs of two: one fat, one thin. All therapists are german or balding, and always flakey.

[wayzim]

Just saw this groaner tonight, blows much, not even close to the original, let's put this franchise out of it's misery. John McClanes life lessons. There aren't any Euro Trash Terrorists, Ex-Military Psychos, Brothers of ETT's, or Disgruntled Uber Hackers who don't have a personal grudge against you. If you have a super hot daughter (to replace the wife you dropped two films previous ) give the geeks a glimpse and then hide her away for the rest of the picture so they have to wait til the last fifteen minutes to get thier wack on. All computer systems have open door policy through a single universal link with no firewalls, serious encryption, whatever, from The Pentagon to NSA, Wall Street, or Transit and Public Utilities. The evil Uber Hacker is clean shaven while the Hacker Hero is shaggy and misunderstood. They are both equal in talent but if you're evil you get the hot ninja chick. All henchmen have GPS assist, top of the line comm systems, and frigging armor piercing rounds but can't shoot through the back of a chair. All people over thirty are immediately tech illiterate, all kids under thirty hate CCR (Fortunate Son Rules! ) When communicating with any Police or Military units, you needs no codes, no ID or protocal of any kind to call in a missle strike within a city zone. You can easily kill a helicopter with a car. Didn't we see this Big Brother crap done better in Enemy of The State? Oh, A convincing video of the Capitol Dome blowing up can be hobbled together in seconds. The hot ninja chick can survive getting run down by a car, why not a drop down an elevator shift? Gruber from the classic Die Hard always did what he threatened, the other villains were pussies. If you're trapped in an elevator always ask for proper ID, accept piece of crap badge. Semi hauling trailer has great acceleration on city streets, especially those with normal traffic during a massive power failure. VTOL jets can descend into really tight spaces, and didn't we see this crap in True Lies? Hot daughter has more stones than the Hacker Hero, but she still hits like a girl. It takes a couple rounds in each kneecap for a geek to grow a pair, and it gets the Hot Daughter ... uh, Hot. Hacker Hero will be able to fire off a gun like a pro which will get the daughter even hotter. Hacker Hero will always hint at wanting to bone your hot daughter, and you will keep the safety off on your gun, just in case Lame references to the earlier films can't save Live Free, but Kevin Smith was funny, and I think I'll go watch Die Hard 1 and 2, back when it was cool. CCR still rules! Or as John Lithgow said at the end of Twilight Zone: The Movie. "I love the Creed. " ( and he don't mean Creed. ) Wayne Z "It won't do any good. You'll just have to kill me. " "Ok. " (Alan Rickman offing a Nakatome exec in the first Die Hard. )

[Bub666]

Yeah,Live Free or Die Hard was really horrible.