More commercials I hate

[Adrenochrome]

and now, a word from our sponsor.......

[deadpunk]

Oh man... I rarely watch tv. Usually the Food Network to catch Chopped, or USA to catch Law & Order SVU marathons on my days off. The problem with that is... both of those channels show a plethora of local business commercials. Omfg. You guys know, the really poorly shot ones with even worse jingles? I'd rather listen to hardcore rap than be subjected to that garbage. Dear local car mogul, your daughter is fuck ugly. Please stop pretending she is a supermodel and parading her fat, scantily clad ass through your grainy commercials to entice me to buy a car... Dear Empire Carpet, your jingle makes me want to set puppies on fire and kick them into pools of great white sharks to douse the flames... Dear Legal Eagle, you simply can't be my lawyer because you could never in a thousand years defend that hideous tie...

[SymphonicX]

Kind of like those Joop! adverts when The Walking Dead is on? Yeah, I hate those too ... it clashes so much with the show itself that it's just offensive. I'll never buy Joop anyway, but I'm specifically not going to buy it because of that crappy, intrusive advert ... fuck you Joop! YES. I am 100% with that. Those sponsor messages ruin the flow of the show and the atmosphere. And telling me that..."real men wear pink"....now don't get me wrong, I've nothing against men wearing pink and considering themselves "real" - but that effeminate looking prick on the advert, posing and rubbing himself up against a wall while some overly fit bird gives him a snail trail on his leg, totally offends me and offends my gender identity. lol. Anyway, great thread which could really get me ranting and raving...! My biggest advert pet hates are perfume ads in general though. Prententious fucking sycophants. I hate it so, so much that mere words cannot adequately express my extreme disgust for anyone who buys into perfume advertising. Tricky was right -how do you advertise a smell through the telly? You show images of the "lifestyle" that the perfume is supposed to belong to, you show aspirational images of beautiful people in surrealist situations that best describe, through imagery, the feeling that the perfume evokes...so what's the problem? They're all so fucking pathetic. Seeing some stupid ass bimbo rubbing herself up a glass building, dressed in pink, seeing some horrible little pretty boys hugging girls which they look inwardly disgusted to be around, half naked, writhing and covered in baby oil. It makes me sick. Worse still are the voice-overs - minimally informative and MASSIVELY pretentious fucking whispering. WHY DO THEY ALWAYS WHISPER?????? "eau de shit...by lacoste" you can hear that horrible, pretentious "Milan" whisper in your head as you read that, right? I also detest the fucking "lifestyle" that these things promote. One where only the visual is stimulating enough to be valued. It's based on pretention, and nothing else. It's so aspirationally dependent on the world of fashion and all these useless industries which do not bring a single non-financial benefit to the world. Things like fashion and designer clothes and perfumes are a continuous harm to the world's conscience!

[MinionZombie]

YES. I am 100% with that. Those sponsor messages ruin the flow of the show and the atmosphere. And telling me that..."real men wear pink"....now don't get me wrong, I've nothing against men wearing pink and considering themselves "real" - but that effeminate looking prick on the advert, posing and rubbing himself up against a wall while some overly fit bird gives him a snail trail on his leg, totally offends me and offends my gender identity. lol. ... Tricky was right -how do you advertise a smell through the telly? You show images of the "lifestyle" that the perfume is supposed to belong to, you show aspirational images of beautiful people in surrealist situations that best describe, through imagery, the feeling that the perfume evokes...so what's the problem? They're all so fucking pathetic. Seeing some stupid ass bimbo rubbing herself up a glass building, dressed in pink, seeing some horrible little pretty boys hugging girls which they look inwardly disgusted to be around, half naked, writhing and covered in baby oil. It makes me sick. Worse still are the voice-overs - minimally informative and MASSIVELY pretentious fucking whispering. WHY DO THEY ALWAYS WHISPER?????? "eau de shit...by lacoste" you can hear that horrible, pretentious "Milan" whisper in your head as you read that, right? It's funny 'cos it's true ... why indeed with all the whispering?! Other ads that piss me off are ones on the Channel 4 network - specifically shows they're advertising which will appear on their channels ... even more specifically, the adverts for E4 shows. I almost didn't watch Lost specifically because they crammed that stupid 'dancing on the beach' trailer down my throat twice every friggin advert break all goddamned day - I'm glad I did watch it in the end as I really enjoyed the show, but I almost didn't specifically because of that advert. I've noticed E4 constantly ram advertising down your throat for most of their shows - The Cleveland Show is being pushed hard right now (goodness knows why, it's utter shit) - but Misfits was another one recently that was being pushed so freakin' hard (and I've no interest in watching it) ... oh and fucking Skins - ugh, I was sick of that show by series 3. Finished off series 4 reluctantly for sake of completion, but have totally ignored series 5 and 6 and find it to be pretentious, deliberately lurid, ever-so-seri-arse, and just generally pish ... The Inbetweeners on the other hand I really enjoy and it didn't outstay it's welcome either.

[SymphonicX]

I mean if I was to don my "TV" hat on I'd probably say "they whisper to evoke a sense of exclusivity" - and yeah, that kinda works...but from my point of view, I say fuck it - I don't find their £90 bottle of 30ml of liquid to be exclusive, I find it to be overpriced toilet cleaner. If someone buys into a product based on these kind of adverts, it tells you something very specific about how that person values the things and people around them, and what they consider to be "high end". Anyway - promos wise, I don't really mind promos for shows - any channel, whatever it is...usually for one reason - it signals the return of the programme I'm watching and I know it's the next thing to happen, no more ads! Although recently, I had the telly on at work at there was this repeated advert for a show about....sex...! Of all people they had presenting the show, it was the most unsexual actress in Hollywood - Maggie Gyllenhal...the promo was standard but it was based around one question: "Why do we enjoy sex?". What a stupid fucking question. Why do you think? BECAUSE ITS AN INCENTIVE TO PROCREATE. What is the point of a show that'll only reach a conclusion that 99% of the fucking world can figure out for themselves???? The new John Lewis advert annoyed me over Christmas - all that fucking teary eyed bullshit response about it annoyed me to death. ITS AN ADVERT. They are trying to sell their shit to you, and are playing on your heartstrings, and you LIKE THAT SHIT?? Other annoying things are hair, beauty, and skin adverts. "Now here comes the science"...that kind of shit. No, it's not science, it's two fucking little graphics mixing on the screen. You made up the fucking rest. "The seven signs of ageing" - what are they exactly? Oh yeah, consult the product. the seven signs of ageing are: getting old, getting old, getting old, getting old, getting old, getting old, and getting old. Fuck you. "Different hair, different person". What the fuck are you saying with this shit? You should be HUNG for this. Trust me I still think you're a cunt with a mohawk or a side parting. Also, ANYTHING that includes a survey. Read the small print. They say "75% of women shag donkeys" - the smallprint tells you they surveyed four sex pests. Finally... Annoying advert songs. This one is REALLY hard to describe because I really, really can't nail down a specific advert or strand of advertising. You know those adverts that include a song that sounds like it's pre-1920s doo wop or something. Weird fucking music with really simplistic and grating lyrics - think of the song in South Park, when Butters is onstage tap-dancing to that really creepy old song that they made for it "I've got something in my pocket for you....why don't you take a look inside and see what it is..?" THAT KIND OF SONG!!!! -- -------- Post added at 06:34 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:26 PM ---------- On a separate note, why has no one mentioned this yet?? These adverts are pretty much despised by the entire UK population. I personally found my first gripe with it to be a practical one - ie: wtf are they broadcasting, where to, and why the fuck is there NO soundproofing in their "studio"? Then you start to ask, why am I so fucking annoyed by this??

[Tricky]

And this, my friends, is why the recent "Old Spice" ads were so funny, because they were taking the piss out of all the regular 'ideal lifestyle' type scent ads These and the Mr T snickers adverts are about the only ones I actually like

[Mike70]

my most hated commercials are all of them. BUT i esp. hate commercials that try to make you feel like less of a person/parent/friend if you don't run out and buy the latest phone, computer, tv, etc. that kind of tactic is disgusting as all hell. commercials are nothing but what Huxley would've called "verbal booby traps." the worst are political commercials. these fucks get stupid people to believe that a party can boil down complex economic, social, military, trade, monetary, etc. issues into a 30-60 second soundbite and then provide answers in that same small time period. HUH? the worst sort of reductionism there is. anyone who believes a word in a political commercial is a god damn fool of the first magnitude. however, this commercial actually made me laugh:

[MinionZombie]

Symph - at the mention of Butter's "I've got something in my pocket, for you..." tap dancing song. Good example though - I detest those Halifax adverts. I really fucking loathe them ... there's another one where the daft bint keeps cutting in "yeah yeah yeaaaaah" from some song 'in answer' to her co-hosts statements or whatever ... they're all shit. Plus of course - that Go Compare motherfucker. The only one that is even remotely tolerable is the one set in the cave man days because it's got two fitties dressed in fur skin bikinis (and the TV needs to be on mute whenever Go Compare comes on). Now - I like the Meerkat ones for Compare The Market - their website is shit, but the adverts I really enjoy, personally. An example of an advert that wigs me out though are those dressed-up loan shark adverts - some 'reputable' company, but when you see the APR at the bottom of the screen, you can't help but wonder how anyone could be so stupid and so desperate to sign up to 1734% APR!!! Tricky - yeah, those Old Spice ones were good (as were the ones with Bruce Campbell ) ... and I too thought the Mr. T Snickers ads were good - there was one that got banned because it was apparently homophobic, but that was over-egged it a bit. You'd find far worse comments in any pub or school playground anywhere in the country (or indeed world) ... but whatever. "Get some nuts!"

[ProfessorChaos]

anybody else wanna smash susie's lemonade stand and smash her stupid verizon phone in the sidewalk right before her beady little eyes? and it really gets under my skin how many stupid tech-centric commercials there are these days....particularly when i'm watching the walking dead and AMC keeps telling me about "starting my dual-screen experience right now" and log it their website so i can chat online with other tech-fags....and then they gotta throw #WalkingDead hash-tag on-screen for all the twitter-twats who feel important when they think online to the whole world. i'd just like to watch the fucking show, thanks. piss off with all that twitter and dual-screen online experience bullshit.

[bassman]

and it really gets under my skin how many stupid tech-centric commercials there are these days....particularly when i'm watching the walking dead and AMC keeps telling me about "starting my dual-screen experience right now" and log it their website so i can chat online with other tech-fags....and then they gotta throw #WalkingDead hash-tag on-screen for all the twitter-twats who feel important when they think online to the whole world. i'd just like to watch the fucking show, thanks. piss off with all that twitter and dual-screen online experience bullshit. I agree with you that they shouldn't shove it down our throats the way they do, but I have to admit that i've been tempted to check out that chat just to see what kind of bullshit goes on there. The more I read of peoples' thoughts on TWD around the internet, the more shocked I am that this show has survived as long as it has. Most of them have zero knowledge of zombie classics and no idea Romero's trilogy even exists. A few even going as far as to say that a posted clip of Bill Hinzman in Night is "a horrible zombie and it's not even in color".....

[ProfessorChaos]

^ examples like those you posted are just evidence that we aren't too far from "idiocracy". brawndo: it's got what plants crave!

[MinionZombie]

I agree with you that they shouldn't shove it down our throats the way they do, but I have to admit that i've been tempted to check out that chat just to see what kind of bullshit goes on there. The more I read of peoples' thoughts on TWD around the internet, the more shocked I am that this show has survived as long as it has. Most of them have zero knowledge of zombie classics and no idea Romero's trilogy even exists. A few even going as far as to say that a posted clip of Bill Hinzman in Night is "a horrible zombie and it's not even in color"..... Christ almighty...

[Mike70]

posted clip of Bill Hinzman in Night is "a horrible zombie and it's not even in color"..... HA! i just made my 8 year old nephew aware of the fact that for a long time (like up until 1965-1970 or so), a lot of things, esp. movies and half hour tv shows, were (shock and horror!) shot in black in white. he was agast at the idea that there was a time when people had to suffer without color. i still don't think he believes grown ups when we tell him that computers and cell phones didn't exist when we were kids (or at least not in the omnipresent form they do now). then again, we must forgive him. the only thing 8 year old boys care about is action figures, what the coolest cartoons and video games are, and who their favorite athlete is.

[bassman]

HA! i just made my 8 year old nephew aware of the fact that for a long time (like up until 1965-1970 or so), a lot of things, esp. movies and half hour tv shows, were (shock and horror!) shot in black in white. he was agast at the idea that there was a time when people had to suffer without color. i still don't think he believes grown ups when we tell him that computers and cell phones didn't exist when we were kids (or at least not in the omnipresent form they do now). I'm part of a newer generation, so I have no experience with seeing B&W as it first aired/screened, but I have absolutely no problem with the format. In fact, one of my all-time favorite movies is To Kill A Mockingbird. I also LOVE The Twilight Zone, amongst other things. Hell, even certain recent films and shows gain a certain quality when viewed through the B&W format(The Mist). That being said, I might be in rare company with that opinion. As I mentioned before, too many people these days look at B&W as a fault for some reason....

[Mike70]

That being said, I might be in rare company with that opinion. As I mentioned before, too many people these days look at B&W as a fault for some reason.... i love B&W and wish more things were shot in it. have to the right kinds of movies, but i think for some things it would be great. B&W has a subtley to it that color doesn't. i think the perfect example of that is "Psycho." in my opinion, that wouldn't be near the movie that it is if it were shot in color - oh wait, it wasn't. then again being in color had nothing to do with that.