Lou's Adventures in Real Estate Hell (aka, why Freddie Mac & Fannie Mae suck ass)

[LouCipherr]

We had heard horror stories about forclosures so we skipped out on them for our house hunting. (People ripping out copper wiring, punching holes in walls, ects on homes they are about to lose)Plus where limited on options due to a certain school district in the area that has horrible education ratings. Glad it worked out for you Thanks, Mr. Clean. That's something we ran into a LOT - when these people find out they are going to lose their house, they rip out anything and EVERYTHING they can to make $. I've seen torn-out (and when I say "torn-out" i'm not kidding - literally ripped out of the house with zero regard to the damage they cause) refrigerators, washers, dryers, air conditioner units ceiling fans (yes, ceiling fans!), light fixtures.... baseboard heaters seem to be some of the first things to go.. it's amazing. They'll take out anything and anything worth any kind of $ then leave the entire house looking like an F5 tornado went right through the place. Unreal. Get this - one place we went to had like 5 knives stuck in the walls in random places around the house (walls, ceilings, etc) and (I couldn't believe this) two cereal boxes GLUED to the walls! WTF was going on in that place?! It is my understanding that Fanny and Freddy were created to help out folks who overpaid for real estate, and need to get their house payments lowered. Our current lender notified us of the opportunity to reduce. That's part of it, yes, but it does go a bit deeper than that when you are dealing with foreclosures. Fannie Mae has morphed into a giant money-sucking beast from it's original inception. At this point, I don't know what the hell they're there for, because they certainly haven't helped us buy a damn thing. We finally had to raise the overall price we were willing to pay and find a home that is owned by an individual, rather than trying to buy a foreclosure from freddie/fannie. It's quite interesting that I paid a slightly higher price and had ZERO problems with financing (we just made it out of underwriting yesterday, so it's all a go!), but try and buy something cheaper that's owned by fannie/freddie? Nope. They weren't going to let it happen. Why, I don't know. I can't even begin to understand their logic. Put it this way: My wife and I have no debt and excellent credit - what was their problem giving us a loan? On one of the houses, we bid over $8k what they were asking, we were the highest bidder (and we make good money between my wife and I) and they said no? Yet I go to a higher priced house with an individual who owns it and there's zero problems getting the loan? Makes no sense to me, but at this point, I don't really give a damn. My only experience with HUD homes was about 15 years ago. I was working in Law Enforcement, and in the area I lived in they had a program called "The Officer Next Door". Per the requirements of the program, I had a badge and a gun and had been pre-approved for a mortgage...so they gave me access to these run down shacks in the ghetto. If I agreed to buy one of these dumps and move in and renovate it...I could have the house for half of the listed price. The problem, like I said, is that the houses were all in areas that were so bad that I would've been living like Charlton Heston in "The Omega Man"--I would've had to shoot my way in before Sunset every night, and then do battle with mutants shooting fireballs through my front window night after night. I passed. Probably a good thing! While it might have been a stellar deal on a fixer-upper, it certainly isn't worth dealing with the..... for lack of a better word, "weirdos" in the area.

[CJ Markham]

Yeah, Lou...the condition of the homes I looked at was pitiful. In retrospect, I think that's actually what turned me off about the program--more than the fact that they were in notoriously bad areas. Funny story--one of the homes was dead across the street from where this black female officer I knew lived. She wasn't precisely "ghetto"--she was a single mom with two kids, new to the force, who lived in that neighborhood because that's all she could afford at the time. It was in the 1400 West block of Monroe Street on Chicago's West Side--an area that really makes you appreciate what you've got in Somalia. One time, she threw a party and invited everybody...and I wanted to go, but wasn't familiar with that area (I was from a Western Suburb, not the city), so I did what I always did in situations like that--I drove my car to my dad's "hide-out" and had one of his wop gangster buddies take me to the party. I gave the driver, one Burt Taylor, the address...and he's like: "Are you crazy?! That's a nigger neighborhood!" Being a 23 year old bad-ass, I replied, "So what?" (Answering a question with a question is an Italian thing). I had (literally) a sea-bag full of fifths of booze I got on the arm, and I didn't intend to miss this party. We drove down there, and it got dark quickly. And, I'm not talking about the level of the light, if you know what I mean. We pull up in front of the house, and there's gang-bangers eye-balling us everywhere. I get out, grab the goods, and Burt sped off. Turns out, I was the only White guy that showed. Looking around, once I got into the house I wanted to start boarding up the doors and windows like in "Night of the Living Dead". The music starts, and it's stuff like this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SvPZo52X5vo And: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiMcVGarxdo In addition to the black cops I knew from work, the whole neighborhood came out for this. Pimps, gang-bangers, hookers, and regular people too...you name it. So--I take all the booze 'n shit I'd brought and started mixing drinks. At first, all they were requesting were stereotypical black drinks, like Henessey and coke. I decided to take the law into my own hands and just started mixing various recipies and then passing them out. Then, I pulled a move they loved even more--I couldn't believe it, but these black people didn't know the old "watermelon" trick. Take a big, fat watermelon and prop it right side up. Cut off the top at an angle so there's a hole in the fruit, and then pour a fifth of rum or vodka down into the fruit. Stick it in the fridge so it chills while the booze seeps down into the whole watermelon. Then, cut it up and get drunk as shit as you eat it. For that, they loved me so much that they became convinced that I wasn't White....that I was Puerto Rican (their words). <shrugs> Anyways....the HUD home they tried to sell me a couple of years later was almost right across the street from where this party was. Regardless of how that party went, I wasn't going to risk living like the "Omega Man"--remembering the addadge "it's a nice place to visit but I wouldn't wanna live there". And, once the booze and dope wore off, I'm sure they would've felt the same way about my presence. I think I have carpal tunnel syndrome now. Excuse me.

[LouCipherr]

It was in the 1400 West block of Monroe Street on Chicago's West Side--an area that really makes you appreciate what you've got in Somalia. I could not stop laughing after reading that! That sounds like one hell of a party! I don't know if I would've been able to stay there for more than 10 minutes or so - talk about feeling out of place! ...and when I say "out of place" let me clarify: it's not because it was an all-black party, hell, I could handle being the token whitey in that situation but gang-bangers? pimps? hookers? I'd stand out more than a pot roast at a vegetarian party!

[mj39569]

Real estate business is a only business which is expanding day by day there is a huge profit in real estate business and whittier property management but be careful before investing in real estate business as if there is profit there is loss also.

[CJ Markham]

I'd stand out more than a pot roast at a vegetarian party! I stood out like a turd in a punch bowl.

[Mike70]

. It was in the 1400 West block of Monroe Street on Chicago's West Side--an area that really makes you appreciate what you've got in Somalia. One time, she threw a party and invited everybody...and I wanted to go, but wasn't familiar with that area (I was from a Western Suburb, not the city), so I did what I always did in situations like that--I drove my car to my dad's "hide-out" and had one of his wop gangster buddies take me to the party. i roared in laughter over that. reminds me of my own town. there are neighborhoods in this city where it is just not safe for white folks to venture unless they are in a car with lights on top and the words "police" on the side. then again, aside from work my holy presence never steps a toe across the line that says "welcome to cincinnati." how this city made #3 on the list of best places in america to visit, i'll never frikkin' figure out. must've been a LOT of blowjobs given out to travel writers by the chamber of commerce.

[mj39569]

problem of land is the major problem during construction in that condition the property manager or real estate provide the williamsburg property management system. which will give you the solution of the land problem.

[LouCipherr]

I stood out like a turd in a punch bowl. how this city made #3 on the list of best places in america to visit, i'll never frikkin' figure out. must've been a LOT of blowjobs given out to travel writers by the chamber of commerce. Looks like I should've considered this town rather than one in West Virginia! Well, the good news is - we made it out of underwriting with no issues. They asked for one thing: proof of homeowners insurance. We took care of that last night and now we're on the fast-track to settlement on June 1st. The only thing that's daunting about this whole thing to me is, moving all this shit I have in my house all the way over to West VA. Looks like U-haul is going to get some of my business, as I don't own a truck and even if I did, it's WAY too much stuff for a single truck. Ugh. But that's ok, 1-2 days of moving hell will be worth the fun we get out of the place. It's hard to believe we started the search almost an entire year ago. We started looking for places July 4th weekend of 2011, and we're settling on June 1st, 2012. 11 Months. Who would've though it would take that long to find a place out there. Geez.