Perverted Joke of the Day

[Mike70]

limerick time: there once was a man from madras whose balls were made out of brass and in stormy weather they'd clang together and lightning would shoot out of his ass. there was a lady from belize who orgasmed when she would sneeze she went into town put her money down and said, "a barrel of snuff if you please." On the tits of a barmaid named Gayle, Were tattooed prices of beer, stout, and Ale, and on her behind, For the sake of the blind, Was precisely the same, but in Braille. There was a young gigolo named Bruno Who said, "Screwing's one thing I do know. While women are fine, And sheep are divine, Llama's are numero uno!" There was a young man named Dave Who kept a dead whore in a cave. Said he, "I'll admit She does smell a bit, But look at the money I save!"

[bassman]

The last one is the best out of the group, imo.

[Craig]

I love a good limerick There once was a young man called Chris Who liked to drink other men's piss In the toilet he'd hide With his mouth open wide But men being men they'd all miss Made this one up myself, kinda lame but I was pleased

[clanglee]

I wanna play!!! There once was a lady from Loo, Who filled herself up with some glue. She said with a grin, "If they'll pay to get in, They'll pay to get out of it too!"

[major jay]

Confucius say. Panties not greatest think on earth....but next to it. Confucius say. Baseball wrong....man cannot walk with four balls.

[Tricky]

"I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special. " ooooft

[Bub666]

Ok. . . I am being forced to do this. . . it's on all your heads. . . . Helen Keller Joke Time: "How Did Hellen Keller's parents punish her?" Rearranged the furnature or Left the plunger in the toilet or Put her in a room with stucco walls, and tell her to read them "Helen is hanging from a cliff about to fall, why is she only holding on with one hand?" She was yelling for help with the other. "Why was helen's leg yellow?" Her dog was blind too. "Why did her dog run away?" You would too if your name was "Agghhhh-LArgh AAAhhh RaGH!!!!"

[mista_mo]

I love a good limerick There once was a young man called Chris Who liked to drink other men's piss In the toilet he'd hide With his mouth open wide But men being men they'd all miss Made this one up myself, kinda lame but I was pleased So people are writing limericks about me now eh. I will state that I hardly ever do that.

[RustyHicks]

limerick time: there once was a man from madras whose balls were made out of brass and in stormy weather they'd clang together and lightning would shoot out of his ass. there was a lady from belize who orgasmed when she would sneeze she went into town put her money down and said, "a barrel of snuff if you please." On the tits of a barmaid named Gayle, Were tattooed prices of beer, stout, and Ale, and on her behind, For the sake of the blind, Was precisely the same, but in Braille. There was a young gigolo named Bruno Who said, "Screwing's one thing I do know. While women are fine, And sheep are divine, Llama's are numero uno!" There was a young man named Dave Who kept a dead whore in a cave. Said he, "I'll admit She does smell a bit, But look at the money I save!" Now that cracked me up

[SymphonicX]

There was an old lady from ealing who had a peculiar feeling she laid on her back opened her crack and pissed all over the ceiling!

[DjfunkmasterG]

Confucius say. Panties not greatest think on earth....but next to it. Confucius say. Baseball wrong....man cannot walk with four balls. Confuscius say: Man with hole in pocket feel cocky.

[major jay]

Confusius say. Oral sex makes ones day....anal sex makes ones hole weak.

[Mike70]

a man looks at wife and says "honey, why don't you ever tell me when you orgasm during sex?" she looks at him and says, "because you're never around when i do." A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants. The Bartender asks, "whats with the wheel?" The pirate says, "Ar! It drives me nuts!" A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator!" he cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time with the same voice came over the line. "Never mind," he said with a hiccup, "I got in the back seat by mistake." __________________ After the Great Britain Beer Festival, in London, all the brewery presidents decided to go out for a beer. The guy from Corona sits down and says, "Hey Senor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender dusts off a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him. The guy from Budweiser says, "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one. The guy from Coors says, "I'd like the only beer made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it. The guy from Guinness sits down and says, "Give me a Coke." The bartender is a little taken aback, but gives him what he ordered. The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask "Why aren't you drinking a Guinness?" and the Guinness president replies, "Well, I figured if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither would I."

[Chic Freak]

Have we had the horrible baby jokes yet? Brace yourselves. Q. What has two legs and bleeds a lot? A. Half a baby Q. What's small and green and goes up and down all day? A. A dead baby in a lift Q. What's red and silver and bumps into things? A. A baby with a fork in its eye Q. What's a foot long and makes women scream? A. Cot death I do realise I'm going straight to hell... just so y'all know.

[SymphonicX]

**** it, Chic Freak, it's where all the good music is anyway...