Perverted Joke of the Day

[Dtothe3]

Before being released, Gary Glitter made an announcement from his prison cell. He said "I'm going to take my family to Florida". That's right, Glitter is going to Tampa with the kids! Micheal Jackson is bathing his son, his son asks "Daddy, why is my winkie different from yours?". Micheal replies "Well for a start, you don't have a hard on". Why's a 69 better then a family reunion? In a 69, you only have to kiss one ****.

[capncnut]

Before being released, Gary Glitter made an announcement from his prison cell. He said "I'm going to take my family to Florida". That's right, Glitter is going to Tampa with the kids! Okay two Gary Glitter jokes: Gary is on a boat with 100 boy scouts and girl guides and the captain spots an iceberg. Captain says, "iceberg right ahead, everyone into the boats!" Gary says, "what about the kids?" Captain says, "f**k the kids!" Gary says, "cool but do we have time for that right now?" Gary Glitter and a young boy are out walking through a forest late at night. The boy says, "it's dark! I don't like it, I'm scared!" Gary says, "you're scared? I've got to walk back out of here on my own!"

[Mike70]

limerick time again! (cue musical intro) There once was a fellow named Kent Whose dong was so long that it bent To save himself trouble He stuck it in doubled And instead of cumming... he went There once was a lady named Cager Who had agreed to a wager She consented to fart the entire oboe part Of Mozart's quartet in F major There once was a man from Peru. Who fell asleep in a canoe. While dreaming of Venus, he pulled out his pe*nis, and woke up with a handful of goo. There once was a lady named Dot Who lived on pig Shakespeare and snot. When she ran out of these, She would eat the green cheese She scraped from inside her twat. I once faced my deepest of fears, When my bowels up and reversed their gears, I lost my smug grin, Tried to hold it all in, But finally shot sH8t out both ears The lass I brought home was a prize, With an alluring set of blue eyes, Her breasts, so well kept, Were what I'd expect, But her penis was quite a surprise. An Aussie with dire love trouble, Enclosed himself within a bubble, Till a thundering blast, From the depths of his ass, Reduced his clear sphere into rubble. this one is for you mista mo: there once was a man named mojoseph whose balls were rather explosive, one day while oiling them down with some ointment he found he discovered too late it was corrosive.

[horrormad]

What is Michael jacksons best birthday gift? A duck

[capncnut]

What is Michael jacksons best birthday gift? A duck The other joke you posted was funnier. Merged with joke thread.

[horrormad]

What do Michael Jackson and an xbox have in common? Both get turned on by kids!!!

[Tricky]

I'll tell you what I really hate about my new Thai bride. She keeps leaving the toilet seat up!

[capncnut]

Okay two nasty, awful jokes regarding Jett Travolta. You have been warned. Q. How did Jett Travolta die? A. Autopsy is still ongoing but doctor's have ruled out Saturday Night Fever. Q. What was Jett Travolta's last words? A. "Seizure later." <ducks for cover>

[Mike70]

another nasty jett travolta joke: do you know what jett's problem was? he had trouble stayin alive.

[CornishCorpse]

Mike I bow to you and youre limeric awesomeness! Lol Joker Joke: "Well...this guy goes into the hospital, okay?...His wife's just had a baby and he can't wait to see them both. So he meets the doctor and says, 'Oh, doc, I've been so worried. How are they?' And the doctor smiles and says, 'They're fine. Just fine. Your wife delivered a healthy baby boy and they're both in tip-top form.....You're one lucky guy' So the guy rushed into the maternity ward with his flowers. But its empty. His wife's bed's empty. 'Doc?' he says and he turns around and the doctor and the nurses wave their arms and scream in his face... 'APRIL FOOL! YOU'RE WIFE'S DEAD AND THE BABY'S A SPASTIC!' Get it?"

[clanglee]

No No No. . . .you've got that all wrong A man's wife is in a horrible accident. He is at the hospital in the waiting room when the doctor walks up to him. "Doc, how is she? Is she gonna make it?" The doctor looks at the man very seriously and says. . "Well, it's not good news sir. We are going to send her home with you soon, but Your wife is in a near vegitable state. She has severe brain damage and will never recover. The rest of her life you are going to have to make sure she is fed and bathed properly. She also may choke on her own vomit, so you must check on her every 10 minutes and sometimes vacum her esophogus. You will also need to check her for bedsores and apply medication to any formed ones. She will never wake up but she is not bad enough to stay here. There is always euthanasia, but that is entirely up to you. . I don't want that kind of evil on my concience. Until her eventual death, you will have to be present for her at all times and your life will become very difficult I'm afraid." The man is completely and utterly crestfallen. He looks up tearfully and says to the doctor "Really? Is there nothing we can do?" The doctor then smiles at the man, and slaps him on the back saying "I'm just fucking with ya. She's dead!"

[CornishCorpse]

Lol Diffrent variations but both good xD

[FoodFight]

The new hire was working at the sex shop when a customer asks, "How much for that big white thing behind the counter?" "$25" was the reply. She pays and leaves with her purchase. The second customer asks "How much for that big black thing behind the counter?" "$25" was the reply. She pays and leaves with her purchase. A third customer asks "How much for that big plaid thing behind the counter?" "$35" was the reply. She pays and leaves with her purchase. Later, the manager asks her how many sales she made. "I got $25 for a white toy, $25 for a black toy, and $35 for your thermos!"

[otisbenny]

A woman stands atop the roof of a 50 story builiding. She's feeling woozy from an office party. She stands on the ledge and falls off. 10 stories down a man reaches his arms out and grabs her. "Thank you for saving my life!" she says. "What can I do to re-pay you?" The man replies, "How 'bout a blow-job!?" "NO!!!" the woman replies- so the man drops her. 10 stories down another man reaches his arms out his window and grabs her. "Oh my God! Thank you for saving my life! What can I do to repay you?" "How 'bout a fuck!?" the man replies. "NO!!!" she says- so the man drops her. Believe it or not, 10 stories down, another man reaches his arms out his window and catches her. "Oh My God!!! Thank you for saving my life!!! Tell you what, I'll do anything you want...I'll give you a blowob and a good fuck!" "Fuckin' Slut!!" the man replies and he drops her.

[Bruiser235]

Did you hear about the cannibal that passed his brother in the woods?