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Thread: A bat drives my wife batty.

  1. #1
    Ipsissimus Kaos's Avatar
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    A bat drives my wife batty.

    Apparently a bat got in the house when I was taking out the trash. We didn't notice until later when my wife played with the blinds to see why they were rattling. It was dark but she saw the body of something crawling behind the blinds. Of course, she lost it. I turn on the light and saw it was a little bat. His body was no more than 3.5 inches long and his wingspan was under 5 inches. While she retreated to our daughters room totally disrupting her sleep, I went and got a butterfly net and some cardboard from the garage. The little thing was scared to death and easily caught. Once trapped in the net I took him to the porch and set him free. My wife wants to call a bat expert, and I want her to see a psychiatrist. We will call an exterminator if we see one again, but I doubt I will.

  2. #2
    capncnut
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    Dont talk about those darned bats, I see those f**kers every time I'm on mescaline. Just ask my attorney Dr Gonzo, he'll tell ya!
    Last edited by capncnut; 16-Nov-2006 at 07:11 AM.

  3. #3
    Team Rick MinionZombie's Avatar
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    Awwww, sounds a l'il cute from the story there Kaos.

    I have a bat incident, it was a tad Fear & Loathing (minus the drugs). I was a kid and had been in the woods with a friend (no, not "getting gay" ), we were building a den in the weird kinda already-somewhat-cleared-clearing (we later had the farmer who owned the land shoot in our general direction with a shotgun! ).

    Anyway, one evening when coming back from the den - we just banged sticks against trees and threw dirt around, lol - and were walking down the dirt track that leads to the main road. It was late dusk and almost full on night and then all of a sudden we hear this kinda screeching noise and suddenly there was a flock (or whatever they're called) of (no, not seagulls, but...) bats flying overhead!

    They were so close I could feel the breeze over my head, we ducked in fright and saw this swarm of bats heat off into the night, scared the crap outta me - but not as much as a couple of weeks later when that farmer started shooting at us with his shotgun! (Not surprising from a farmer who lives on their own and straps dead blackbirds to wooden poles with wire to 'get a message across' to other birds)...

  4. #4
    Dying radiokill's Avatar
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    call the exterminator because of one bat sounds like something my girlfriend would be trying to talk me into

    Quote Originally Posted by MinionZombie View Post
    (Not surprising from a farmer who lives on their own and straps dead blackbirds to wooden poles with wire to 'get a message across' to other birds)...

    my grandaddy does that when they are being pests...it works. he's not living the self-sufficient lifestyle, though.

    I had a scary encounter with a bat one time when I was younger. I was following a creek through a culvert under the highway and I had walking stick. I got half way down when a bat comes flying straight for my head at eye-level very quickly (I realize now he would've just gone around me had I done nothing, but I didn't then). right before he hit my head I spun the stick to hit him but lodged it on the sides of the culvert. the bat got half an inch from the stick and increased his altitude just slightly so that he missed the stick. I was thinking that sonar effin rocks.
    I Corinthians 1:18-31 18For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God. 19For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent. 20Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? 21For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe. 22For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom: 23But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness; 24But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God. 25Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. 26For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: 27But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; 28And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: 29That no flesh should glory in his presence. 30But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: 31That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.


  5. #5
    certified super rad Danny's Avatar
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    ive never been scared of bats really, nothing with fur i find particularly scary, its anything with more than 4 legs that gets to me.
    though i take mz's bat in the woods and raise you a 5 foot grey heron with a beak like a foot and a half long chasing me in the woods when i was about 6, that bastard was like something out of jurassic park.


  6. #6
    Dying radiokill's Avatar
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    those things come to my pond every now and then.....they are gigantic, couldn't imagine a six-year-old being chased by one. that's crazy because they get scared easily

    for some reason that reminds of the time when I was less than five feet tall and so this snake was the same length/height, a blue runner. I was in the woods w/ my dad and rounded a corner a head of him. this snake was standing straight up on it's tail, standing eye to eye with me. i don't know how, but I managed to **** my pants (I was like 7 or 8) and slowly back away. when the snake laid down I heard a gunshot. my dad's .38 special spilt it's head. the top of it's head flipped open like a lid to a can. the cool part about it, its brain lay perfectly intact on the ground beside its head, attatched by one red and one blue vein......I'd wish I knew more about snake anatomy because it looked great. wish i could describe it better.
    I Corinthians 1:18-31 18For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness; but unto us which are saved it is the power of God. 19For it is written, I will destroy the wisdom of the wise, and will bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent. 20Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world? 21For after that in the wisdom of God the world by wisdom knew not God, it pleased God by the foolishness of preaching to save them that believe. 22For the Jews require a sign, and the Greeks seek after wisdom: 23But we preach Christ crucified, unto the Jews a stumblingblock, and unto the Greeks foolishness; 24But unto them which are called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God, and the wisdom of God. 25Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men; and the weakness of God is stronger than men. 26For ye see your calling, brethren, how that not many wise men after the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called: 27But God hath chosen the foolish things of the world to confound the wise; and God hath chosen the weak things of the world to confound the things which are mighty; 28And base things of the world, and things which are despised, hath God chosen, yea, and things which are not, to bring to nought things that are: 29That no flesh should glory in his presence. 30But of him are ye in Christ Jesus, who of God is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption: 31That, according as it is written, He that glorieth, let him glory in the Lord.


  7. #7
    through another dimension bassman's Avatar
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    "No point in mentioning the bats, I thought. The poor bastard would see them soon enough"

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    Dying
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    Kaos....you actually OWN a butterfly net?

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    Just been bitten scotty Boy's Avatar
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    the only time ive encounted a bat was at Long Leat. i was with my girlfriend and we were walking through a kiddies treasure game and one room was full of bats and as i walked through i felt all this water fall on my head and arm.

    When i walked out.... you guessed it, it had **** all over me and pissed on my head!!! i was far from happy and didnt smile for a good two hours.

    ****ing things

  10. #10
    Ipsissimus Kaos's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FoodFight View Post
    Kaos....you actually OWN a butterfly net?
    Yeah, it actually belongs to my daughter. Her mother spoils her too much.

  11. #11
    Dying Graebel's Avatar
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    You could tell her about the fact that bats cause 90% of the human rabies cases in the US.

    Of course, you'd never get her to shut up then.
    A penny for the old guy.

  12. #12
    Being Attacked CivilDefense's Avatar
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    You dont need a exterminator, you need a badminton racket.

    Seriously, if they arent in your attic, bats can be a good thing.

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