Congrads Giger.
My home computer can't read out the script so I've only been able to read like the first fifteen to twenty pages. But I did read enough to offer my oppinion.
I'm afraid that I have to agree that the beginning needs some work. The reader is thrown into the situation with no idea how many people there are, so it got a little confusing on who was who.
The second thing is that the survivors seemed just a little too carefree and unorganized given their situation. There was some confusion on the matter of who was in charge too. Odds are in a world like the living dead, the toughest, smartest, or ruthless person would be on top and no one else would dare to question them.
The last thing I noticed was the bit about the bus. It doesn't seem very likely to me that these people who have managed to stay alive for so long, most of the young people having lived the majority of their lives if not all of it in this apocolyptic world, would just jump into the bus without looking inside. The only way it seems plausable is if the person in charge of keeping it secure failed in their responsibility (accidentally leaving the door unlocked), thus allowing some of the dead to stumble onboard unnoticed.
When I manage to finish the rest of it I'll give you my full account of Harmony.
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