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Thread: Things not to say in an Interview (Funny as hell)

  1. 23-Jul-2009 #1
    DjfunkmasterG
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    Things not to say in an Interview (Funny as hell)

    CNN compiled a list of comments actually made by candidates during Job Interviews. I dare you to read this list and not bust a gut laughing.

    http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/workl...iew/index.html

    My personal faves:

    GRAND PRIZE
    Interviewer: Have you submitted your two weeks' notice to your current employer?

    Interviewee: "What is two weeks' notice? I've never quit a job before, I've always been fired."

    Award for Runner Up
    Interviewer: When have you demonstrated leadership skills?

    Interviewee: "Well my best example would be in the world of online video gaming. I pretty much run the show; it takes a lot to do that."
    ALWAYS BET ON DEAD!
    Official member of the "ZOMBIE MAN" Fan Club Est. 2007 *FOUNDING MEMBER*
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  2. 23-Jul-2009 #2
    Mike70
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    this one is priceless:

    Is there anything else I should know about you?

    "You should probably know I mud wrestle on the weekends." - Venne
    "The bumps you feel are asteroids smashing into the hull."
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  3. 23-Jul-2009 #3
    shootemindehead
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    Tell us about a problem you had with a co-worker and how you resolved it

    "The resolution was we were both fired."



    Ha ha...class. I'm remembering that one.
    I'm runnin' this monkey farm now Frankenstein.....
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  4. 23-Jul-2009 #4
    Tricky
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    Best way to fail an interview from the film "trainspotting"


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  5. 23-Jul-2009 #5
    darth los
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    Anyone think that this contributes to that nearly double digit unemployment figure just a smidge?










    FEAR IS THE OLDEST TOOL OF POWER. IF WE ARE DISTRACTED BY THE FEAR OF THOSE AROUND US THEN IT KEEPS US FROM SEEING THE ACTIONS OF THOSE ABOVE US.

    I DIDN'T KILL NOBODY. I DIDN'T RAPE NOBODY. THAT'S IT. ~ Manny Ramirez commenting on his use of a banned substance.

    "We kill people who kill people to show people that killing people is wrong" ~ Unknown

    "TO DOUBT EVERYTHING OR TO BELIEVE EVERYTHING ARE TWO EQUALLY CONVIENIENT SOLUTIONS: THEY BOTH DISPENSE WITH THE NEED FOR THOUGHT"

    "All i care about is money and the city that I'm from, imma sip until I feel it, Imma smoke it till' it's done, I don't really give fuck and my excuse is that I'm young,and I'm only getting older, sombody shoulda told ya, I'm on one !"
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  6. 23-Jul-2009 #6
    MinionZombie
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    Oh man, these are classic.
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  7. 24-Jul-2009 #7
    Mike70
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    where is clanglee at? he has his very own interview moment.
    "The bumps you feel are asteroids smashing into the hull."
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  8. 24-Jul-2009 #8
    kortick
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    I remember getting in my e-mail a while ago
    a list of things not to do on job interviews.

    i prolly still have it

    the one i remember most was:

    "don't ask or offer to give the interviewer an enema"

    good advice.
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  9. 19-Aug-2009 #9
    clanglee
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike70 View Post
    where is clanglee at? he has his very own interview moment.

    i totally missed this thread. Why you gotta bring up old shit Mike?

    Yeah, so I was interviewing for a job and the lady asks me what I consider some of my bad personality traits. Well. . . .I meant to say that I have a bit of a self deprecating sense of humor. . . .What came out was that I have a self defecating sense of humor. So basically I told them that I shit on myself and laugh about it. I realised my mistake immediately and tried to rectify the problem, but needless to say I didn't get the job.
    "When the dead walk, we must stop the killing, or lose the war."
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  10. 19-Aug-2009 #10
    MoonSylver
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    Quote Originally Posted by clanglee View Post
    iYeah, so I was interviewing for a job and the lady asks me what I consider some of my bad personality traits. Well. . . .I meant to say that I have a bit of a self deprecating sense of humor. . . .What came out was that I have a self defecating sense of humor. So basically I told them that I shit on myself and laugh about it. I realised my mistake immediately and tried to rectify the problem, but needless to say I didn't get the job.


    "I have a self defecating sense of humor, I shit you not!"
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  11. 19-Aug-2009 #11
    SRP76
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    The "name something that sucks about you" question/demand is about the dumbest load of shit employers do. They basically want you to talk your way right out of the job, and refuse to accept "I have no weakness" for an answer.

    And they obviously don't want honesty in any other area. For instance, they don't want to hear "this job pays more than my current one, and I'm trying to improve my life by coming here", even though that's the ONLY reason anyone gets any kind of fucking job: THE MONEY. What, you think people apply for the garbageman job because they like plastic bags and maggot-infested Rubbermaid barrels?! Think again, buddy.
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  12. 20-Aug-2009 #12
    MikePizzoff
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    Quote Originally Posted by clanglee View Post
    Yeah, so I was interviewing for a job and the lady asks me what I consider some of my bad personality traits. Well. . . .I meant to say that I have a bit of a self deprecating sense of humor. . . .What came out was that I have a self defecating sense of humor. So basically I told them that I shit on myself and laugh about it. I realised my mistake immediately and tried to rectify the problem, but needless to say I didn't get the job.


    You just had me laughing similar to Louis from Revenge Of The Nerds. Seriously.
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  13. 20-Aug-2009 #13
    blind2d
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    I don't see how a tiny verbal slip like that would've cost you the interview, mate. People mess up words all the time. Harsh. Jobs suck, that's why I'm a musician. Because.... oh, yeh, this is ass too... wha'ever. - 2D
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  14. 20-Aug-2009 #14
    clanglee
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    Quote Originally Posted by blind2d View Post
    I don't see how a tiny verbal slip like that would've cost you the interview, mate. People mess up words all the time. Harsh. Jobs suck, that's why I'm a musician. Because.... oh, yeh, this is ass too... wha'ever. - 2D
    Nah. . I'm sure it wasn't JUST that that lost me the job. . . I think it might have contributed though.
    "When the dead walk, we must stop the killing, or lose the war."
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  15. 20-Aug-2009 #15
    Danny
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    missed this thread entirely, this should be appropriate, and frankly mz im disappointed that you didnt beat me too it.

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