My review of Lucio Fulci's "The Beyond"...

[JDFP]

Wow, just wow, this movie was just so freaking AWFUL! However, I will say this, on a campy level I haven't had that much fun in quite a long, long time. If you choose to see "The Beyond" as a comedy (like the "Scream" series which are dark comedies), I think you could have a great deal of fun with it. First off, the plot is about as believable as Lindsay Lohan at an Amish prayer meeting. It just doesn't make sense. But who needs logical thinking when you can have scenes of dumping acid on two different people, enough blood to make Mel Gibson cringe, and three -- I'll say that again -- THREE eye gouging-scenes. And the winner of most laughable line of dialogue I've seen in a film this year goes to the doctor in this flick who is inspecting a painter who has fallen off the side of the house and for whatever reason has blood pouring from his mouth (it's Fulci) and the doctor says: "This man needs to get to a hospital!" -- oh man, I literally had to pause the flick (not that I really missed anything) because I was laughing too hard thinking to myself: "Really? Did the gallons of blood coming out of his mouth give that one away?" Yeah, so the people that supposedly step over through the "gateway to Hell" to see the face of Hell become blind and their eyes turn into this really weird looking contact color that would go well at a "Cure" concert. Because that makes sense, right? We see a man in a public record's office attacked by about ten different spiders after he falls (cue blood pouring from his mouth round two, as that's only natural after a fall from about 10 feet) -- where the spiders just happen to appear from or what they're doing there doesn't matter... it's a good opportunity for some more eye-gouging. There's a character in this film (I kid you not) named Joe the Plumber that was the only interesting character in the entire film. He was eye-gouging victim # 1 though. The acid-melting scenes are actually strangely engrossing. What is any horror film without at least one person being melted by acid? Fulci agreed that it was groovy, for he does it again a second time as well. The end of the film makes no logical sense either (wait, it's Fulci), but has the hero couple of the film magically teleporting from one location to the entranceway to the gates of Hell in the basement of the hotel/portal in the flick. Where's Padre Pio when you need him, eh? Don't get me wrong, this flick was bad -- but it wasn't Uwe Boll bad. Not even Fulci could intentionally be that bad, I think (though I haven't seen but a few of his films, so I could be wrong). It's worth watching just for the humor. It would be a great drinking game flick to have friends over -- you could make eye-meatballs to eat while watching it and drink it with fruit punch (blood! And more realistic looking than the blood in this movie!), so it's definitely worth checking out. A great campy ride... but what astounds me is that there are people out there who hail "The Beyond" as a GREAT horror flick! This just blows my mind... Speaking of which, what is the obsession with Fulci? I'll give him kudos for the gore and sound effects of popping eyeballs and the ilk in his films, but I just don't see the appeal at all. j.p.

[bassman]

Speaking of which, what is the obsession with Fulci? I'll give him kudos for the gore and sound effects of popping eyeballs and the ilk in his films, but I just don't see the appeal at all. I've always wondered the same thing. Of the few films i've seen it's just crap. Different strokes and all that... But for me, your first sentence summed up all of those films. "Awful".

[triste realtà]

Dumb people like dumb things and vice-versa. Which are you? You wrote an awful lot about a movie you didn't like. It seems like a cry for help.

[bassman]

Dumb people like dumb things and vice-versa. Which are you? You wrote an awful lot about a movie you didn't like. It seems like a cry for help. Did you work on this film or know anybody that did or something? Don't take it so personally...

[triste realtà]

Hey Bassman, guess what DVD just came in the mail today: RETURN OF THE LIVING DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had to get the oop flipper disc so I could see it in all its full frame glory.

[bassman]

Okay.... Sounds fun.

[JDFP]

Dumb people like dumb things and vice-versa. Which are you? You wrote an awful lot about a movie you didn't like. It seems like a cry for help. Oh, I liked it, as a comical horror camp B-flick. If you actually read my review instead of coming here to throw a silly one liner out, you'd see that I appreciated it as camp. On the contrary, people that consider it as an amazing horror film obviously haven't seen many horror films outside of the piece of shit Hollywood re-makes and straight to video garbage produced over the last 20 years or so. j.p.

[triste realtà]

Okay.... Sounds fun. I thought you were the failbrain that hated that movie and mentions it every other day. ---------- Post added at 06:34 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:30 PM ---------- But seriously I want to add that the acid on the face was taken from Terror Creatures from the Grave, an earlier b&w Italian horror movie that was extensively ripped off for the Evil Dead.

[bassman]

I thought you were the failbrain that hated that movie and mentions it every other day. You sooooo underestimate me. Every other HOUR, silly bug!

[SRP76]

I thought you were the failbrain that hated that movie and mentions it every other day. That movie was retarded. Simple as that. The one thing I can give it is that it's better than the Sci-Fi channel sequels. That's not very impressive, though.

[axlish]

Return of the Living Dead > Day of the Dead

[JDFP]

Return of the Living Dead > Day of the Dead If you're comparing ROTLD to DAY re-make, absolutely. ROTLD is a fun movie, one I occasionally watch for the great 80s fun (especially the Fields of the Nephilim music). Comparing ROTLD to the original DAY is like comparing Alfred Hitchcock's PSYCHO to Gus Van Sant's PSYCHO. It's a non-comparison. No matter how pretty you make a T.V. dinner look compared next to granny's home-made meal (ROTLD being the T.V. dinner and granny's cooking being the original DAY), it just won't ever compare. j.p.

[fulci fan]

Wow, just wow, this movie was just so freaking AWFUL! However, I will say this, on a campy level I haven't had that much fun in quite a long, long time. If you choose to see "The Beyond" as a comedy (like the "Scream" series which are dark comedies), I think you could have a great deal of fun with it. First off, the plot is about as believable as Lindsay Lohan at an Amish prayer meeting. It just doesn't make sense. But who needs logical thinking when you can have scenes of dumping acid on two different people, enough blood to make Mel Gibson cringe, and three -- I'll say that again -- THREE eye gouging-scenes. And the winner of most laughable line of dialogue I've seen in a film this year goes to the doctor in this flick who is inspecting a painter who has fallen off the side of the house and for whatever reason has blood pouring from his mouth (it's Fulci) and the doctor says: "This man needs to get to a hospital!" -- oh man, I literally had to pause the flick (not that I really missed anything) because I was laughing too hard thinking to myself: "Really? Did the gallons of blood coming out of his mouth give that one away?" Yeah, so the people that supposedly step over through the "gateway to Hell" to see the face of Hell become blind and their eyes turn into this really weird looking contact color that would go well at a "Cure" concert. Because that makes sense, right? We see a man in a public record's office attacked by about ten different spiders after he falls (cue blood pouring from his mouth round two, as that's only natural after a fall from about 10 feet) -- where the spiders just happen to appear from or what they're doing there doesn't matter... it's a good opportunity for some more eye-gouging. There's a character in this film (I kid you not) named Joe the Plumber that was the only interesting character in the entire film. He was eye-gouging victim # 1 though. The acid-melting scenes are actually strangely engrossing. What is any horror film without at least one person being melted by acid? Fulci agreed that it was groovy, for he does it again a second time as well. The end of the film makes no logical sense either (wait, it's Fulci), but has the hero couple of the film magically teleporting from one location to the entranceway to the gates of Hell in the basement of the hotel/portal in the flick. Where's Padre Pio when you need him, eh? Don't get me wrong, this flick was bad -- but it wasn't Uwe Boll bad. Not even Fulci could intentionally be that bad, I think (though I haven't seen but a few of his films, so I could be wrong). It's worth watching just for the humor. It would be a great drinking game flick to have friends over -- you could make eye-meatballs to eat while watching it and drink it with fruit punch (blood! And more realistic looking than the blood in this movie!), so it's definitely worth checking out. A great campy ride... but what astounds me is that there are people out there who hail "The Beyond" as a GREAT horror flick! This just blows my mind... Speaking of which, what is the obsession with Fulci? I'll give him kudos for the gore and sound effects of popping eyeballs and the ilk in his films, but I just don't see the appeal at all. j.p. I can't even read everything you said without getting extremely annoyed. How old are you? I am simply at a loss of words... I guess it takes a certain kind of person to appreciate and love good films. This isn't Michael Bay, son. It isn't American. This is Fulci. You have to use your brain in order to watch his films. You can't go into the movie expecting everything to be laid out for you and have the movie hold your hand the whole way through telling you what everything means. It takes many viewings of this film to understand it. Don't feel bad, though. Many people hate Lucio Fulci's films because they can't understand them. Please do not watch any more of Italy's finest. ---------- Post added at 05:49 AM ---------- Previous post was at 05:46 AM ---------- Stop saying cheesy,campy, cheesy fun, campy fun, gory fun, etc.

[bassman]

I love it when people take others' opinions so personally. Or maybe i'm just a stupid American Micheal Bay fan that can't understand them. Son. Fulci's films suck.

[major jay]

I like it. And yeah, it's cheesy. I love the way Fulci depicts Southerners. This film also has the original Joe the plumber! err, I mean Joseppi the plumber. This dude's a real player. I bought the Grindouse release of this. The transfer is the same as the old Anchor Bay release, but what's great about this is the remastered 5.1 soundtrack. It sounds frickin' awesome!