New Idea

[rightwing401]

This just kind of popped into my head a while back, seems like a good idea to me. Would like some imput on it though. Like most of my works, I want to place this one in the zombie dominated world. I haven't hammered out the finer details, but basically I wanted an expedition group from a secured safe haven to find a mother and her 6 year old son while scavaging a remote location for supplies. It doesn't take them long to figure out that there's something odd about the little boy. Every time the expedition stops, the living dead seem to home in on them from all around. Their concerns are proven to be valid when one of their own is jumped by an unseen walker, the boy screams at the zombie to stop, and it follows his command. What I'm stumped on is what they would do with the kid. It's obvious to them that the boy has some kind of psycic abilities that allows him to manipulate the dead, but at the moment he can only order one of them around at a time. The problem they have is that any living dead nearby will immediately be drawn to him like moths to a flame for some unexplainable reason. So the question that I'm pondering is-1. Will they take this potential golden goose back to their enclave in the hopes of eventually harnesing his latent abilities to use against the dead, and possibly running the risk of bringing hoardes of walkers down on them- or 2. Kill him and his mother out of both fear of his potential danger and his attracting the dead. Doubt I'll be writting it any time soon, but it doesn't hurt to ask fellow writers for some constructive criticism.

[The Alive Man]

No, Your concept is beautifully crafted, I can smell a lot of explosive potential... since I'm a sci-fi writer, I can help you to develop the concept even further. 1- Skip the second ending. The boy is the key to un-lock a new, possible future where the Dead would succumb to humans forever. Hold this line, please. 2- Create a "mentor", a teacher than can help the boy to focuse his "Deadkinesis" (I conied this term), the ability to manipulate the Living Dead. 3- Let's suggest that the boy is the first one of an evolutionary mutant branch: thus, the spontaneous, natural product of human adaptation to the problem of the Living Dead (assuming that 20 or more years have passed by since the initial 'Otutbreak'/the Zombies are all re-animated survivor humans). 4- Let's show new exponents of this evolutionary branching humans. 5- Give me some credit for all this Let me know if you like it, TAM

[rightwing401]

Alive Man, I like the suggestions that you made. Now that I'm thinking about it a little more, I know that I'd like to expand on the concept. What I figured I would do is have a few more of these 'super' people. They would be the byproducts of an experimental drug given to recently pregent women who didn't want their children. It rings similar to what happened in 'FireStarter', but a little different. The zombies would be the results of a failed second experiement that was meant to be given to the children when they hit puberty in the hopes that it would make them able to survive all but the most extreme wounds. The history is that there were two groups of subjects, with the experiments conducted about seven to eight years apart to see if the drug really did work. Now here's how I envision the story. The world of course belongs to the dead, and humans are an endangered species. There are only a handful of the first group of 'super children' still alive, no more than seven or eight, and they are all now young adults and have moderate control over their powers. I figure the second group's slightly bigger, maybe two dozen children, who can barely control their abilites but have the potential to be stronger than the first group. Of course the dead are really just kind of a back drop. The real aspect of the story that I'm interested in is the way the 'super humans' react. Like usual, some are good, some are bad. Now that I think about it, having a mentor for the boy wouldn't be a bad idea. I've even got a character that has telekinetic abilities from an earlier story that could have an nice return. Any thoughts on this expanded idea?

[deadpunk]

I like the concept. I smell a series here, rightwing. This story, then later, the original found boy as an adult, coping with the fact that he holds the key to humankind's salvation. The inner turmoil of the character you are developing will make it a more 'substantial' read than most of the works currently in the fiction section. Hell's bells...now I wanna read it...

[capncnut]

Pretty good concept there bro. I hope you get it done.

[The Alive Man]

The zombies would be the results of a failed second experiement that was meant to be given to the children when they hit puberty in the hopes that it would make them able to survive all but the most extreme wounds. The history is that there were two groups of subjects, with the experiments conducted about seven to eight years apart to see if the drug really did work. I like the theory that the two "calamities" are un-related concepts the best. Your SCANNERS-like subplot involving the drug (Ephemerol? ) is likable, of course, but I like to keep the Living Dead phenomenon unsolved, unexplained and mysterious. The guys just were the products of a big HUMAN EVOLUTIONARY leap, a solid ANSWER to the "problem" of the Living Dead; mutation, evolution, upgrade. Now here's how I envision the story. The world of course belongs to the dead, and humans are an endangered species. There are only a handful of the first group of 'super children' still alive, no more than seven or eight, and they are all now young adults and have moderate control over their powers. I figure the second group's slightly bigger, maybe two dozen children, who can barely control their abilites but have the potential to be stronger than the first group. Of course the dead are really just kind of a back drop. The real aspect of the story that I'm interested in is the way the 'super humans' react. Like usual, some are good, some are bad. Now that I think about it, having a mentor for the boy wouldn't be a bad idea. I've even got a character that has telekinetic abilities from an earlier story that could have an nice return. Any thoughts on this expanded idea? In my view, you have to drop any other "cheap" and well-known psychic ability - just stick to the Deadkinesis, because it's a great concept, man! You could draw some interesting parallels with the Tahitian Voodoo popular figure of the Bolkor. I stay tuned!

[Eyebiter]

Recall another HPOTD fiction story where the main character could influence the undead on a grand scale. The military team he was with abandoned him in an undead city. He discovered his ability and used it to get an entire city full of undead to walk into a sports arena. The building was then bombed by the authorities.

[The Alive Man]

Recall another HPOTD fiction story where the main character could influence the undead on a grand scale. The military team he was with abandoned him in an undead city. He discovered his ability and used it to get an entire city full of undead to walk into a sports arena. The building was then bombed by the authorities. I wanna read that. Rightwing?

[Neil]

A six year old boy? Who can control the dead (to some degree)? Young children can have tantrums... Imagine this kid having a bad one I wouldn't have liked to have been the one to upset him

[rightwing401]

Alive man, I've never heard of that story before, but it sounds like something that I would like to read. And the idea of focusing solely on the 'deadkinesis' as you put it seems like it will be more than enough now that I think about it. The thought of thousands, if not tens of thousands, of living dead being directed by the whim of a single individual is very frightening. And to Neil, I do understand that kids tend to be very selfish and sort of self centered. But that's what also makes the story so good, trying to teach a child to use his gifts properly when the temptation to abuse them is so overwhelming.

[deadpunk]

A six year old boy? Who can control the dead (to some degree)? Young children can have tantrums... Imagine this kid having a bad one I wouldn't have liked to have been the one to upset him Imagines Ralphie being told he can't have his Red Rider beebee gun for Christmas... Now, thats a Christmas Story! The lamp that looked like a leg would get a whole new twist...

[radiokill]

sounds like a good story, rightwing. what part of Louisiana are you from?

[rightwing401]

Slidell originally. Live out in hammond and attend southeastern.

[radiokill]

Usually gas up in Slidell when we're headed to Florida. Had to stop and piss in Hammond a few times. Don't know much about that area. I live between Shreveport and Natchitoches, attend Northwestern.

[The Alive Man]

Alive man, I've never heard of that story before, but it sounds like something that I would like to read. And the idea of focusing solely on the 'deadkinesis' as you put it seems like it will be more than enough now that I think about it. The thought of thousands, if not tens of thousands, of living dead being directed by the whim of a single individual is very frightening. And to Neil, I do understand that kids tend to be very selfish and sort of self centered. But that's what also makes the story so good, trying to teach a child to use his gifts properly when the temptation to abuse them is so overwhelming. Please, forgive me: 'NECROKINESIS' is a much appropriated term, to begin with. I think the power of the boy should be confined to some miles, and maybe he has to put much more effort in order to control TWO or even THREE LIVING DEAD simultaneously. Please, he could do that to a certain extent; his powers have to be tampered in some ways, don't make the character too much powerful.