Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 22

Thread: I have shamed myself... I watched... Silent House

  1. #1
    Feeding LouCipherr's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Hell
    Posts
    4,029
    United States

    I have shamed myself... I watched... Silent House

    God help me, why do I watch such bad films?!


    Ok, where to start with this atrocity..

    The story revolves around a woman named Sarah who.. well, let's let IMDB take care of the synopsis:

    Trapped inside her family's lakeside retreat, a young woman finds she is unable to contact the outside world as events become increasingly ominous in and around the house.

    Doesn't tell you much, does it? Well, neither does the movie.

    Here's my synopsis:

    The story revolves around a woman named Sarah (Elizabeth Olsen) who, along with her father John (Adam Trese) and her uncle Peter (Eric Sheffer Stevens), go to their family lakeside estate to prepare it to be sold. The uncle leaves a few minutes into the flick to get a permit for the electric or something (doesn't matter, it's not worth remembering, which is why I don't) leaving Sarah and her father alone in the house. That's when the weird shit starts happening.

    Yeah, about an hour later. *yawn*

    Where was I? Oh yeah. The one thing that is interesting about this film is it is composed of what seems to be one long take the entire movie. In reality, it was composed of multiple 10-minute takes and edited together to hide the cuts. Fairly decent job in that department, the rest was totally forgetful.

    It takes what seems like forever before the "creepy" parts of the movie begin. Prior to that, it's a lot of talk and wandering around in a house that's completely dark. In the middle of the day. Yes. You read that right. The windows are all boarded up, so inside it looks as black as night and everyone wanders around with lanterns and flashlights. Gets old after a while when all they really need to do is bust out one piece of plywood and they'd have a skylight (well, a ‘wall light’ – whatever). geez. It reminds me a lot of those "found footage" shit-fests that are all the rage nowadays. Annoying and overdone. But I digress...

    When the "scares" do begin, there's really nothing to be scared of, as your view usually consist of complete darkness, or Sarah hiding while holding a flashlight, lantern, or candle that isn't bright enough to light up... to light up a... hell, I can't think of a good analogy, so let's just say that it's too goddamn dark to be enjoyable. Funny thing is, Sarah can't seem to get out of the house once this stuff starts. She doesn't seem to be able to pull a piece of plywood off one window, nor can she figure out how to open a front door or - even better - how to pick up something heavy and throw it through the back door windows (yes, there's plywood on the outside, but if something was trying to kill me, I'd DAMN WELL be throwing something large and heavy through one of the windows/doors and getting the hell out!).

    Most of the scares are nothing more than noises in the house, flashes of a little girl, and once in a while someone grabbing the leg of Sarah, just to force her run deeper into the house and into the dark. *yawn*

    I offer no spoilers in my "shame" threads, and that trend will continue. That being said, the "climax" of this movie really doesn't deliver. When the "big reveal" is given, the only thing that ran through my head is "Jesus, it's about goddamn time!" This movie moves slower than molasses flowing uphill in the middle of January in Maine.

    My wife blurted out the twist about 15-20 minutes before it was revealed.

    Put it this way: This movie makes Sharktopus look like genius filmmaking. I think that kinda says it all.

    Just. Don't.

  2. #2
    Feeding shootemindehead's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Dublin
    Posts
    4,086
    Ireland
    Oh come on Lou...why the hell do you keep doing this to yourself?

    I secretly think you like it.
    I'm runnin' this monkey farm now Frankenstein.....

  3. #3
    Feeding LouCipherr's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Hell
    Posts
    4,029
    United States
    Quote Originally Posted by shootemindehead View Post
    Oh come on Lou...why the hell do you keep doing this to yourself?

    I secretly think you like it.
    Well, as usual, this was one my wife wanted to watch... so by default (since i'm in the same room) I have to watch it too. Same thing happened with Snow White & The Huntsman. It wasn't by choice, I swear!!

    Sharktopus, however, I watched that on my own accord. I'm not sure if I'm dumber now having watched it, but it is what it is.

  4. #4
    Just Married AcesandEights's Avatar
    Super Moderator

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Mid-Hudson Valley, NY
    Posts
    7,479
    United States
    That's the movie with the younger Olsen sister in it that's built like a human being and not a coat rack, right?

    "Men choose as their prophets those who tell them that their hopes are true." --Lord Dunsany

  5. #5
    Feeding LouCipherr's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Hell
    Posts
    4,029
    United States
    Quote Originally Posted by AcesandEights View Post
    That's the movie with the younger Olsen sister in it that's built like a human being and not a coat rack, right?
    Yup, she's the younger sister of Mary-Kate and Ashley. I didn't even realize that 'till you pointed it out, Aces.

  6. #6
    Chasing Prey MoonSylver's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Columbus, Oh
    Age
    55
    Posts
    3,475
    United States
    Shame. I wanted to get out & see this one in theaters (y'know support the genre & all), but it was there & gone so quick I missed it (& figured it must be a dud based on that...).

  7. #7
    Feeding shootemindehead's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2009
    Location
    Dublin
    Posts
    4,086
    Ireland
    Quote Originally Posted by LouCipherr View Post
    Well, as usual, this was one my wife wanted to watch... so by default (since i'm in the same room) I have to watch it too. Same thing happened with Snow White & The Huntsman. It wasn't by choice, I swear!!
    Ah ok...sorry lad. I feel your pain then. I have to wait until the wife goes to bed til I can watch what I want...

    ...like 'Sharktopus'



    I'm runnin' this monkey farm now Frankenstein.....

  8. #8
    Feeding LouCipherr's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Hell
    Posts
    4,029
    United States
    Quote Originally Posted by shootemindehead View Post
    Ah ok...sorry lad. I feel your pain then. I have to wait until the wife goes to bed til I can watch what I want...

    ...like 'Sharktopus'
    Well, that's one not to miss - at least Sharktopus knew where it stood and didn't take itself seriously like Silent House tried to (and failed at miserably).


    Moon - trust me when I say you didn't miss a thing. It's really lame on multiple levels.

  9. #9
    Just Married AcesandEights's Avatar
    Super Moderator

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Mid-Hudson Valley, NY
    Posts
    7,479
    United States
    I'm still intrigued by the film. I'll just wait till it's on cable or netflix. That way I can shut it off, if need be It can't be worse than some of the zombie trash I've tried to watch on netflix...it just can't.

    "Men choose as their prophets those who tell them that their hopes are true." --Lord Dunsany

  10. #10
    Feeding LouCipherr's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Hell
    Posts
    4,029
    United States
    Quote Originally Posted by AcesandEights View Post
    It can't be worse than some of the zombie trash I've tried to watch on netflix...it just can't.
    You keep telling yourself that, Aces.

    After you watch it, I expect you to come back to this thread and tell me how right I was.

  11. #11
    Walking Dead slickwilly13's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    The Republic of Texas
    Age
    46
    Posts
    2,482
    Undisclosed
    A shame yourself challenge. Watch the movie, Dead Dudes in the House. aka The House on Tombstone Hill or The Dead Come Home

    Watch it buzzed with friends.
    Last edited by slickwilly13; 01-Aug-2012 at 03:31 PM. Reason: edit

  12. #12
    Feeding LouCipherr's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Hell
    Posts
    4,029
    United States
    Quote Originally Posted by slickwilly13 View Post
    A shame yourself challenge. Watch the movie, Dead Dudes in the House. aka The House on Tombstone Hill or The Dead Come Home

    Watch it buzzed with friends.
    Oh man, I'm not sure I'm up for that challenge based on the title of the movie alone!

    I watched a flick last week called "Chillerama" which I was going to do a "I have shamed myself..." thread for, but that movie was SO freakin' bad, I couldn't even be bothered to waste the time to do a post on it.


    Wait, if you've already seen this movie, post your shame! Tell us all about it! I do these threads so you guys don't bother to watch these things. I consider it my civil, HPotD duty. lol

  13. #13
    Walking Dead slickwilly13's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    The Republic of Texas
    Age
    46
    Posts
    2,482
    Undisclosed
    Chickening out? I liked Dead Dudes more than Sharktopus. The movie is so bad, it is funny. Decent gore, too. The movie was released in the late 80's as The Dead Come Home, then it was distributed by Troma as Dead Dudes in the House. You may want to give it a chance. "L"

    Come on. It has Troma's stamp of approval. "L"
    Last edited by slickwilly13; 02-Aug-2012 at 01:13 PM. Reason: edit

  14. #14
    Feeding LouCipherr's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Hell
    Posts
    4,029
    United States
    Quote Originally Posted by slickwilly13 View Post
    Chickening out? I liked Dead Dudes more than Sharktopus.
    Blasphemy!

    The movie is so bad, it is funny. Decent gore, too. The was released in the late 80's as The Dead Come Home, then it was distributed by Troma as Dead Dudes in the House. You may want to give it a chance. "L"

    Come on. It has Troma's stamp of approval. "L"


    I see no reason to take another hit for the team when you've already been struck by a wild pitch.

  15. #15
    Rising rongravy's Avatar
    Member

    Join Date
    Sep 2009
    Location
    NW Arkansas
    Age
    52
    Posts
    1,570
    United States
    Quote Originally Posted by LouCipherr View Post
    Well, as usual, this was one my wife wanted to watch... so by default (since i'm in the same room) I have to watch it too. Same thing happened with Snow White & The Huntsman. It wasn't by choice, I swear!!

    Sharktopus, however, I watched that on my own accord. I'm not sure if I'm dumber now having watched it, but it is what it is.
    Woops, I forgot to post about SW&TH after seeing it the other day. With the exception of Stewart, I thought it was a pretty good movie. I feel no shame in saying it, but then again, I'm pretty shameless...
    I watched Silent House when it came out, though I can't remember any of it. I thought I posted on it but can't find it. So I went to my kid and asked her if I liked it, and she said no. I'm then guessing it sucked, due to my amnesia. Might get it again to confirm when I have another free rental.

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •