I have shamed myself. I watched... "Sharktopus"

[LouCipherr]

I'm still trying to figure out why I subjected myself to this, but I had nothing else to do Saturday evening (that says it all about my life, doesn't it? ) and there was pretty much fuck-all on cable. When I channel surf, I always stop on the SyFy channel just to see what they're showing because who can refuse a cheesy made-for-tv monster flick now and again? Well, I kept seeing commericals for the "world premiere" of "Sharktopus" all week - and seeing I had nothing to do, I figured I'd put it on and keep it on in the background while I surfed the 'net on my laptop. Well, all I can say is, WHAT... THE... FUCK!? HOW DO PEOPLE GET THE BUDGET TO MAKE FILMS LIKE THIS?! I mean, I know it was meant to be bad, that was the whole point, but c'mon man, who willingly gives their money to some dude who pitches his film by saying, "wow, man, like, I have this idea for a movie about a shark, but like, it's not just a shark. It's part octopus too. A 'sharktopus'!" First off, Eric Roberts was in the flick. While I know most of you are going to say "but he was awesome in <insert movie here>" I have to admit, the first Eric Roberts film I saw was The Ambulance, and it has tarnished my view of him ever since.. The flick is about this "Sharktopus" creation, made by Roberts, for the government (of course) to use as a weapon (no way!). While testing him out in "open waters" something happens to the electronic thing they attached to Sharktopus to control him (say it isn't so!) and of course, as expected, he's off on his own with a taste for revenge! The Sharktopus itself is just hilarious. I mean, think about it. Half shark, half octopus. That alone is enough to send anyone into a gigfitgle fit - and that's before you see the damn thing with your own eyes! The best way i can describe it is, picture Jaws from the gills up, and the tentacles from the giant octopus - from Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus - from gills to.....uhhh... the "tail"? I will admit, Sharktopus killed a LOT of people, but the combination of the really, really bad acting, the laughable CGI (Sharktopus changes in size several times throughout the film), and the horrific dialouge/script..... it was just.. well, perfect! Taken for what it is: a complete velveeta cheese-fest of a scifi flick that was meant to be so bad you laughed right along with it, then it was great. Taken on a serious level of filmmaking, it was a fail of epic proportions. So kids, run right out to your local Blockbuster and... awww, too soon? let me try again... So kids, run right out to your local video rental store (what's that?!) and rent SHARKTOPUS and lose 90 minutes of your life in scifi hell! It's fun! All the kids are doing it! It's like a car wreck - you don't want to look at it, but you just cannot help yourself! Now, where'd I put my white jacket with the sleeves that buckle behind my back... PS - can either a shark or an octopus walk on land? No? Good, I didn't think so. Just FYI, Sharktopus did.

[Publius]

PS - can either a shark or an octopus walk on land? No? Good, I didn't think so. Just FYI, Sharktopus did. I think that's an accidental leftover from an earlier version of the screenplay. It was originally supposed to be Sharkaphant. :-D

[LouCipherr]

I think that's an accidental leftover from an earlier version of the screenplay. It was originally supposed to be Sharkaphant. :-D Just when you think an idea can't get any crazier.....

[DjfunkmasterG]

Did Sharktopus knock a fighter jet out of the sky... with a THWAP of his tentacle? NO, but Giant Octopus did... Sharktopus is a pussy next to Giant Octopus

[darth los]

Just when you think an idea can't get any crazier..... They probably changed it because it sounds too much like SHARKTOFART.

[bassman]

I have GOT to see this. Sounds like another fun Batman & Robin, Manos, or Day08 to add to the "fun" list!

[LouCipherr]

I have GOT to see this. Sounds like another fun Batman & Robin, Manos, or Day08 to add to the "fun" list! Oh, for sure! If you take it for what it is and what it's meant to be, it's fantastic. If you're looking for a serious monster film, look elsewhere. Did Sharktopus knock a fighter jet out of the sky... with a THWAP of his tentacle? NO, but Giant Octopus did... Sharktopus is a pussy next to Giant Octopus Sharktopus would eat that giant octopus for lunch, dude. Remember, he's half shark too! Actually, now that I think about it, that's what these guys need to do! Have all three battle it out in "Megashark vs. Giant Octopus vs. SHARKTOPUS!"

[DjfunkmasterG]

Oh, for sure! If you take it for what it is and what it's meant to be, it's fantastic. If you're looking for a serious monster film, look elsewhere. Sharktopus would eat that giant octopus for lunch, dude. Remember, he's half shark too! Actually, now that I think about it, that's what these guys need to do! Have all three battle it out in "Megashark vs. Giant Octopus vs. SHARKTOPUS!" Hurry up and copyright before someone from Asylum comes in here and steals the idea.

[LouCipherr]

Hurry up and copyright before someone from Asylum comes in here and steals the idea. Are you kidding me? Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus vs. Sharktopus would be a lot better than the original films! Let 'em have it! Besides, i'd never get the movie made, but apparently they can somehow convince people to dish out a lot of cash for these hilariously off-the-wall camp flicks, so let 'em have at it. ooh! ooooh! Even better! Combine all three monsters into one for the next flick - MEGA-Sharktopus! or Mega-OctoShark! or maybe SharkoMegaPus! yeah, that's it!

[BillyRay]

ooh! ooooh! Even better! Combine all three monsters into one for the next flick - MEGA-Sharktopus! or Mega-OctoShark! or maybe SharkoMegaPus! yeah, that's it! or Snagglepuss! exit, stage right...

[AcesandEights]

I sense an opportunity for one of our budding filmmakers to make a Sharktopussy sharktopus/James Bond mashup.

[LouCipherr]

or Snagglepuss! exit, stage right... Snagglepuss FTW!! I sense an opportunity for one of our budding filmmakers need to make a Sharktopussy sharktopus/James Bond mashup. *looks in the general direction of Dj* C'mon man, you know you wanna do it!

[BillyRay]

*looks in the general direction of Dj* C'mon man, you know you wanna do it! Yeah, one of 'em can be driving a Camaro, the other a Beemer, and be stuck in traffic during a zombie apocalypse! **Just trying to see how many threads I can merge in one posting. (BaconHobbitDeadRising2)

[DjfunkmasterG]

Snagglepuss FTW!! *looks in the general direction of Dj* C'mon man, you know you wanna do it! Don't look at me.. I don't do mash-ups. Yeah, one of 'em can be driving a Camaro, the other a Beemer, and be stuck in traffic during a zombie apocalypse! **Just trying to see how many threads I can merge in one posting. (BaconHobbitDeadRising2) You forgot ELMO dammit!

[LouCipherr]

...and SKYNET!