I have shamed myself... (again) - I watched.. Piranha 3D

[LouCipherr]

Oh dear lord, what I thought was going to be a throw-back to campy, nutty late-70's/early 80's horror films turned out to be one of the biggest piles of dog shit I've ever stepped in. What were the people who made this movie thinking?! I thought Sharktopus was the bottom rung of the ladder, but this movie took that spot without any compeition. First off, a massive colony of Pirhana (ancient pirhana at that - ones that were supposed to be 'extinct') end up surviving in an underground cave - somehow survive for millions of years, only to escape present day due to a seismic shift of the earth's crust under a particular lake? Really? Weak premise to begin with, me thinks. How the hell did those bastards stay alive so long in there? What, so they're actually ancient cannibalistic Pirhana in 3D? Oh, that's right, I need to "suspend belief" right? Ok, fine. Second, I can't believe Richard Dreyfuss - of all people - actually made a cameo in this.. WHY, Dick, WHY?! The CGI duing his scene is shockingly bad. I mean, really bad. Third, speaking of which - the CG in this flick looked absolutely terrible, especially during the "attacks" - I mean, eye-rolling-ly bad. Fourth, after Jerry O'Connell's character almost gets wasted - then he has the balls to ask "did they get my penis?" WTF?! and the scene with the pirhana after that sequence was not only uncalled for, but completely fucking stupid. Period. It wasn't funny, it wasn't "cute" it wasn't "shocking" it was FUCKING RETARDED! I have no idea why I wasted my time on this. I thought it might end up being some good, campy fun, but ended up being pretty bad. No, wait, what am I saying?! It sucked harder than a crack-addled porn starlet down to her last dime and one last movie in her career coming up. Lou's advice: Don't waste your time. Watch Sharktopus instead. [Lou's "I have shamed myself...." series is brought to you by the letters "C", "U", "N" and "T" and the number 6]

[Mitchified]

Best of all, Pirhana 3D 2 is in the works.

[LouCipherr]

Best of all, Pirhana 3D 2 is in the works.

[JDFP]

Eh, I thought it was funny as hell, but not funny in a haha sort of way -- more like a funny in a Lindsay Lohan sort of way. It's just so disturbing and insanely stupid but at the same time you can't help but stare in disbelief and laugh at it. The film was purely for showing A LOT of scantily clad girls and A LOT of bad CGI blood and guts -- and it was a massive success in those regards. I thought it was fun for what it was. I'll definitely check out the sequel in hopes it brings more of the same. Say what you want about it, but anyone who went to see any of the asinine "Jackass" films don't have a leg to stand on in dissing it. j.p.

[LouCipherr]

Say what you want about it, but anyone who went to see any of the asinine "Jackass" films don't have a leg to stand on in dissing it. Well, I can assure you of one thing - I've never seen the show nor the movie, and I never will. That shit is the bottom of the barrel as far as I'm concerned, and should be lower on the list than Pirhana.. If you ever see me do a "I have shamed myself...." post and it's about one of the Jackass films, you have my permission to give me two, not one, to the head with a large caliber rifle at close range. I don't know JP, I just didn't "get" this flick. I understand what it was "trying" to do, but for me, it failed miserably in every way.

[AcesandEights]

Not to feed into the anger implicit in this thread, but am I the only one getting a Mason Verger vibe off this picture or a Fire Marshall Bill feel, maybe???

[Purge]

Saw it in theaters. I want that hour-and-a-half or so of my life back.

[rongravy]

Saw it in theaters. I want that hour-and-a-half or so of my life back. Wasn't that bad. I saw it in 3D high as a kite. Yeah, it was retarded, but I don't think the FX were bad. I think pretty much everybody went in there knowing it wasn't going to be Sling Blade Underwater... Packed theater, rowdy bunch? It was a big crowd movie, just having fun and being 'tarded. I'd never rent it on dvd, but it was fun for a one time viewing...

[LouCipherr]

Saw it in theaters. I want that hour-and-a-half or so of my life back. That's how I felt. Wasn't that bad. I saw it in 3D high as a kite. Yeah, it was retarded, but I don't think the FX were bad. I think pretty much everybody went in there knowing it wasn't going to be Sling Blade Underwater... Packed theater, rowdy bunch? It was a big crowd movie, just having fun and being 'tarded. I'd never rent it on dvd, but it was fun for a one time viewing... Perhaps that was my problem - I wasn't stoned enough. That scene in the beginning w/Richard Dreyfuss - you don't think the "whirlpool" looked completely fake? I mean, I realize they probably didn't have a massive budget for this movie, but I think they could've done a much better job than they did. Same with the "attack" sequences where all you saw was an underwater shot and swarms of the pirhana flying around. It just looked... I dunno, cartoonish? I guess I should've expected less heading into this movie.

[MoonSylver]

Perhaps that was my problem - I wasn't stoned enough. Isn't it always?

[LouCipherr]

Isn't it always? Shhhhh! Moon, you're giving away my recipie for sanity! Stop that!

[MoonSylver]

Shhhhh! Moon, you're giving away my recipie for sanity! Stop that! You've tried rolling up bacon & smoking it, haven't you?

[AcesandEights]

You've tried rolling up bacon & smoking it, haven't you? I think most of us would be surprised if that wasn't the case

[LouCipherr]

You've tried rolling up bacon & smoking it, haven't you? I would like to plead the fifth on this one....

[MoonSylver]

I would like the plead the fifth on this one.... I would like to drink the fifth on this one...