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Thread: Will someone PLEASE stop 'The Asylum'...

  1. #1
    Webmaster Neil's Avatar
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    Will someone PLEASE stop 'The Asylum'...

    I have nothing against low budget films. But what particularly annoys me about the Asylum is the utter lazyness. They clearly have the ability to put a film togethor well. And infact some of their special effects are quite impressive, which just makes it all the worse.

    All these skills gone to waste due to unneccessarily lazy, stupid and pathetic scripts... I actually rate these folks more of a threat to the planet than Uwe Boll, simply because the amount of film spam they seem to produce!

    Here's some of their more recent crud:-
    King of the Lost World
    The Da Vinci Treasure
    Pirates of Treasure Island
    Snakes on a Train
    Transmorphers
    I Am Omega
    Allan Quatermain and the Temple of Skulls
    War of the Worlds 2: The Next Wave
    The Day the Earth Stopped
    Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. [click for more]
    -Carl Sagan

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    Team Rick MinionZombie's Avatar
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    lol - I was wondering what C. Thomas Howell was up to.

    I can't stand The Asylum either, such shitty 'movies' of the lowest order with absolutely no originality - how on earth they never get done for plagiarism is beyond me. They're so blatant in their off-ripping, it's sick.

    They prey on the stupid and ill advised.

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    HpotD Curry Champion krakenslayer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MinionZombie View Post
    how on earth they never get done for plagiarism is beyond me.
    Actually... http://fangoriaonline.com/home/news/...he-asylum.html

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    Team Rick MinionZombie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by krakenslayer View Post
    GOOD!

    Maybe Fox can put an end to the asylum's ongoing crap festival. I mean ... ugh, what a shedload of shite they pump out.

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    HpotD Curry Champion krakenslayer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MinionZombie View Post
    GOOD!

    Maybe Fox can put an end to the asylum's ongoing crap festival. I mean ... ugh, what a shedload of shite they pump out.
    I pretty much agree, but this post on the Fangoria news page did make me stop and think (edited to remove apostrophes of shame):

    Yes, The Asylums movies stink. But I LOVE the fact they are doing THEM. Hollywood thieves deserved to be ripped off. Especially FOX. Unless, that is, you enjoyed AVP: Requiem. When the Italians did back in the 70s and 80s they were called hacks too. Now, we have multi-editions of Zombie 2! GO, ASYLUM, GO!!!! GO, ASYLUM, GO!!!!

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    Webmaster Neil's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by krakenslayer View Post
    I pretty much agree, but this post on the Fangoria news page did make me stop and think (edited to remove apostrophes of shame):
    I'd love to see how many people hire our an 'Asylum turd' thinking it's the 'real' film... And how many people actually hire it out knowing their about to take part in scat!
    Look again at that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar," every "supreme leader," every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there--on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam. [click for more]
    -Carl Sagan

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    Team Rick MinionZombie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neil View Post
    I'd love to see how many people hire our an 'Asylum turd' thinking it's the 'real' film... And how many people actually hire it out knowing their about to take part in scat!
    ewww...but also, aye, I bet they do sucker in people who feel royally ripped off afterwards. As well as preying on morons and people with absolutely no shred of taste whatsoever.

    Regardless of what you think of Fox, or any other corporation, they do put out awesome stuff in amongst the variety of stuff they put out (some is shit, some is franchise rape, etc), but they do put out stuff which is properly awesome too, they all do - and what's more, it's their property.

    The Asylum have a new one coming soon called "The Terminators" ... ... ... their bare-faced plagiarism is so beyond astonishing that it loops over itself several times.

    I hope they get bitch-slapped by the courts on multiple counts of plagiarism. As Neil said, all this effort being put into hack-job rip-offs, when it could be used to encourage the growth of original stories created by potentially anyone out there.

    What The Asylum are, and have become, is as heartless a 'corporation' as they claim to be opposed to - they cash-in to the worst degree (there's a cavernous difference between the slasher cycle of the 80s, or Zombi 2/Zombie Flesh Eaters for example, and what the asylum do), they peddle non-stop crap, they seek to trick their customers or the plainly stupid, and in a very serious legal sense, they're hugely plagiaristic.

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    through another dimension bassman's Avatar
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    Funny that you posted this today. Just last night I saw Transmorphers on the tube. Watched about 10 minutes and laughed my ass off. It's like Mystery Science Theater 3000 except it's funny without the commentary of the MST3K characters...

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    Just Married AcesandEights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by krakenslayer View Post
    this post on the Fangoria news page did make me stop and think (edited to remove apostrophes of shame):
    It's kind of a good point. I don't really care. If they're making money, paying their people and putting out product someone even remotely enjoys. *Shrug*

    "Men choose as their prophets those who tell them that their hopes are true." --Lord Dunsany

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    Dead Skippy911sc's Avatar
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    What!?!?

    You didn't like I am Omega????

    I could not watch the whole thing...and yet I Tivo'd it?

  11. #11
    has the velocity Mike70's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MinionZombie View Post
    lol - I was wondering what C. Thomas Howell was up to.


    any movie that stars C. thomas howell, dean cain, lorenzo lamas or richard grieco, should be avoided as one avoids a leprous wino.
    "The bumps you feel are asteroids smashing into the hull."

  12. #12
    Chasing Prey MoonSylver's Avatar
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    I bought one of their flicks for a buck out of the Wally World el cheapo bin called "Dragon". Not a rip off of anything, but more a cash in on the post LotR fantasy craze. Nice costumes, fairly nice spfx (bad cgi dragon, but I can forgive THAT), cast was easy on the eyes even if they weren't all great actors, terrible story (they spend most of the movie wandering around the local park, which stands in for "the woods"). It was right in that cheesy 80's Hawk the Slayer territory. I also got one that was a pseudo zombie flick "Death Valley:the Legend of Bloody Bill". Terrible, but fun.

    But all in all, a buck for an evenings worth of fun...not a bad deal. If they would concentrate on stuff like these 2 & not rip off's of other movies I would feel a lot better about them.

  13. #13
    Chasing Prey clanglee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mike70 View Post


    any movie that stars C. thomas howell, .
    Come on!!!!! What about Soul Man?!?!?!??!

    Seriously though. . He DID star in the Hitcher. . .and that was one awesome movie.
    "When the dead walk, we must stop the killing, or lose the war."

  14. #14
    Just Married AcesandEights's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by clanglee View Post
    Seriously though. . He DID star in the Hitcher. . .and that was one awesome movie.
    [cough]And Red Dawn[/cough]

    I wouldn't say C. Thomas Howell is a bad actor, either. I wouldn't say he was a good one, but...you know, just sayin'. The original Hitcher was so much fun, btw.

    "Men choose as their prophets those who tell them that their hopes are true." --Lord Dunsany

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    HpotD Curry Champion krakenslayer's Avatar
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    C. Thomas Howell was a major star and a well-respected actor in the mid-to-late 1980s. Unfortunately, he seems to have settled into an easy life of 9-to-5 acting, doing about a movie a month for these low-budget Hollywood knock-off studios, who probably let him phone in his performances from his L.A. apartment just so they can use his name on the cover of the DVD.

    He was pretty good in the movie about the Hillside Stranglers that came out about five years back, but that was the last decent film he did.
    Last edited by krakenslayer; 24-Mar-2009 at 11:11 PM.

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