Joke of the Day (Bragging About Your Kids)

[DjfunkmasterG]

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party . After several drinks, one of the men had to use the toilet. Those who remained talked about their kids. The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.' The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday.' The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.' The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the toilet and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?' One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons. ..What about your son?' The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.' The three friends said: 'What a shame... what a disappointment.' The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends

[Skippy911sc]

Hahahahahaha! That was really good...

[zombiekiller]

did you hear that their going to melt michael jackson and turn him itto lego's so he can still play with little boys.

[ProfessorChaos]

well, there's certainly enough plastic fused to his skull....

[Mike70]

Q: What’s the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A: One is white, made out of plastic, and dangerous for kids to play with and the other you carry your groceries in. Q: How can you tell if Michael Jackson has a hot date? A: There’s a big wheel parked outside his house. Q: Who does Michael Jackson consider a Perfect “10″? A: Two 5 year olds. Q: How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A: From a catalogue. Q: Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?? A: He thought it was a delivery service. Q: What has 18 balls and 3 pubic hairs? A: A Michael Jackson slumber party.

[MaximusIncredulous]

Good jokes

[DjfunkmasterG]

Farrah fawcett's last wish before dying was for god to make all the children safe... so god killed Michael jackson

[Dtothe3]

You are all a bunch of sick freaks! I think it's unbelievable that you would take the piss out of that poor man, he had such an awful life, even with his riches. You should all take a leaf out of Rolf Harris' book, he was so upset to hear of MJs demise that he promised to do two little boys at his funeral... Eduardo expressed his wishes to attend the funeral, he was swiftly told that he couldn't by the Jackson family. They were terrified he was going to dive in the box. Also... The IAAF has confirmed that the "sex test row" athlete Caster Semanya, can keep her 800m gold medal, after her father, Fatima Whitbread, confirmed that she is a girl. ... I'm going to hell >.>

[capncnut]

The IAAF has confirmed that the "sex test row" athlete Caster Semanya, can keep her 800m gold medal, after her father, Fatima Whitbread, confirmed that she is a girl.

[zombieparanoia]

last night my wife came up to me and whispered in my ear "Make love to me like in the movies" So I stuck it in her ass, pulled out and blew it all over her face and hair. I guess we watch differents kinds of movies.

[Mike70]

last night my wife came up to me and whispered in my ear "Make love to me like in the movies" So I stuck it in her ass, pulled out and blew it all over her face and hair. I guess we watch differents kinds of movies. oh, you dirty bastard, that's classic.

[kortick]

A guy is driving around the back woods of Montana and he sees a sign in front of a broken down shanty-style house: 'Talking Dog For Sale ' He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard. The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there. 'You talk?' he asks. 'Yep,' the Lab replies. After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's your story?' The Lab looks up and says, 'Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.' 'I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired.' The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog. 'Ten dollars,' the guy says. 'Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?' 'Because he's a liar. He never did any of that shit.