A pants-shittingly insane Rambo V synopsis

[krakenslayer]

I just read this over on Ain't It Cool News. Apparently Harry has got his chubby fingers on a page from the latest treatment of Rambo V, comprising a very basic description of the plot. Boys and girls, this seems to mark the biggest, strangest, most unexpected, off-the-wall, genre-shattering genre-bending idea for a franchise action sequel that I have ever heard of...

http://www.aintitcool.com/images2009/rambo5.jpg

Initially, I thought "HOAX!". But Stallone himself apparently confirms it in this voicemail message (http://www.aintitcool.com/images2009/Rambo5SlyVoiceMail.mov) to Knowles.

URL: http://www.aintitcool.com/node/42259

This sounds like simultaneously the lamest and most awesome idea for a Rambo sequel I could possibly imagine. David Morrell would be spinning in his grave if he wasn't still alive... or maybe not. You see, in the orginal Rambo novel, and to a much lesser extent the movie, the lead character is himself portrayed as an almost inhuman beast - a Frankenstein's monster created by military training and the dehumanising effects of guerrilla war. In a way, if done right, this could be the story come full circle. But if done wrong, it would be Rambo and the Force of Freedom vs. Sasquatch.

I don't know. It's striking how awful this idea sounds on the surface... but I have really odd hunch that, if it's made, it will be a lot better than it sounds.

[clanglee]

In a way, if done right, this could be the story come full circle..

I felt that the last movie brought it pretty full circle already.

[EvilNed]

Circle? There's no circle. The first film was a circle. The rest were just straight lines. And now we're left with a franchise that looks like a sperm.

[krakenslayer]

Circle? There's no circle. The first film was a circle. The rest were just straight lines. And now we're left with a franchise that looks like a sperm.

heh heh true.

Not even the first film was a circle, though, to be fair. The original novel and plot was, sort of, but it was broken when the re-shot the ending and Rambo didn't die. And thanks to the altered ending, we now pretty much have Rambo fighting the Wolfman. :lol:

What I meant by "circle" was that it makes for an interesting role reversal. It's not so much a circle, as a reflection on the first movie. And absurd reflection, but a potentially interesting one. I will be there, opening weekend.

At the same time, I can't believe I'm saying this - it's Rambo vs. Snowbeast, and for some reason, I'm actually quite excited. It's a fucking stupid idea, why am I so intrigued!?

[EvilNed]

And then again. In the 80's, this would have been totally acceptable. Nobody would raise an eyebrow.

[MikePizzoff]

I, too, am really excited by this. I don't know why, because if this were any other franchise I'd say: "fuck this."

[Danny]

come on, if stephen seagal can fight vampires, in a world where thats accepted on screen you know every single one of us would high five at this idea in our teens and probably all, whilst thinking its stupid in terms of the prequels would love to see this, its rambo fighting a resident evil monster in the arctic circle, thats fucking rad!

[MoonSylver]

Rambo vs Predator....:barf::annoyed::(

I was a bit worried that it was going to be something like this when I heard the series going in a "new direction".

Sounds like it would be a fine, fun flick on its own, but not as a Rambo flick. 2 great tastes that don't taste great together.

There's still enough IMO you could do with the character that there's no need to start bringing in sci-fi elements.

I think even my geeked out, action movie lovin', testosterone fueled 1980's self would have greeted such an idea with "what the fuck?!?!"

[krakenslayer]

Rambo vs Predator....:barf::annoyed::(

I dunno, it sounds a lot less like the calm, calculating Predator, that it does the crazy, ape-shit, gut-ripping beast from Night of the Demon:

7Gt6bEEmWss

:D:D:D

[Danny]

Rambo vs Predator....:barf::annoyed::(

I was a bit worried that it was going to be something like this when I heard the series going in a "new direction".

Sounds like it would be a fine, fun flick on its own, but not as a Rambo flick. 2 great tastes that don't taste great together.

There's still enough IMO you could do with the character that there's no need to start bringing in sci-fi elements.

I think even my geeked out, action movie lovin', testosterone fueled 1980's self would have greeted such an idea with "what the fuck?!?!"

yeah, but when has anyone said rambos based in the real world?

[clanglee]

yeah, but when has anyone said rambos based in the real world?

Come on Hells, you know what he means. In the non sci-fi/non fantasy fiction genre. Just real world fiction stuff.

[Purge]

kGzGdKFyRT8&feature=fvw

:elol::hyper::evil:

[krakenslayer]

yeah, but when has anyone said rambos based in the real world?

Yeah, it's pretty far-fetched but it's within the realms of possibility. Its unrealistic, but it's within the realms of something that could physically happen. I mean, it doesn't actually stray into the supernatural or anything like that.

[bassman]

Unfortunately I heard of this earliuer. Just when I thought they couldn't possibly ruin the character any more....

[MoonSylver]

Come on Hells, you know what he means. In the non sci-fi/non fantasy fiction genre. Just real world fiction stuff.

Thank you.


Yeah, it's pretty far-fetched but it's within the realms of possibility. Its unrealistic, but it's within the realms of something that could physically happen. I mean, it doesn't actually stray into the supernatural or anything like that.

Bingo. Somehow, this strikes me as being like somebody's fan fic being made into an actual movie.

What next? Dirty Harry vs the Cylons? John McClaine vs Dracula? Martin Riggs & Roger Murtaugh team up with the X-Men to track down Magneto?

Sorry, I REALLY don't mean to piss on anybody's joy-gasm. Really, I don't. If you guys like this sort of thing then enjoy. But for some reason it just doesn't sit well with me.

[slickwilly13]

I dunno, it sounds a lot less like the calm, calculating Predator, that it does the crazy, ape-shit, gut-ripping beast from Night of the Demon:

7Gt6bEEmWss

:D:D:D

Thanks, I just discovered a new gore movie to watch with friends. :cool:

[MinionZombie]

I do hope that's a hoaxy pile of bullcrap, and that the voicemail is Stallone playing silly buggers with Knowles.

After Rambo 4 - tough, gritty, realistic ballistics, set in Burma etc - this makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. I mean #2 was a bit daft after #1, but not snow beast daft. :rockbrow:

[capncnut]

It quite appeals to me actually. I don't know if it's because it sounds like an utter train wreck or that it could be really bitchin'. Rambo vs monster - yeah, I'll have a slice!

[bassman]

After Rambo 4 - tough, gritty, realistic ballistics, set in Burma etc - this makes NO SENSE WHATSOEVER. I mean #2 was a bit daft after #1, but not snow beast daft. :rockbrow:

Realistic ballistics??? I'm no weapons expert, but surely it was all over the top?

Anyway.....I doubt Stallone has what it takes to pull this off. Looking at his recent "comeback" - Rocky Balboa was okay but just a retread of the first film, Rambo was okay in a shut your mind off kind of way but still shit on the original film, and the Expendables looks like it's going to be a great nod to eighties action films, but could very likely turn out to be crap.

[MinionZombie]

Realistic ballistics??? I'm no weapons expert, but surely it was all over the top?

Anyway.....I doubt Stallone has what it takes to pull this off. Looking at his recent "comeback" - Rocky Balboa was okay but just a retread of the first film, Rambo was okay in a shut your mind off kind of way but still shit on the original film, and the Expendables looks like it's going to be a great nod to eighties action films, but could very likely turn out to be crap.
Actually yeah, they go on about it on the DVD - realistic ballistics, especially the 50 cal sniper rifle - it's just that we never get to see such things in most action flicks which, while still violent, are relatively sanitised.

Apprently they had a lot of veterans of wars comment on the ballistics in the movie, and they were saying it's the most realistic depiction of what weapons do to the human body they'd ever seen in a film.

...

Oh, and Rambo kicked ass. As did Balboa. :D

[bassman]

Oh, and Rambo kicked ass.

Only if you enjoy the shite sequels more than the original First Blood.:D

[MinionZombie]

Only if you enjoy the shite sequels more than the original First Blood.:D
#4 was way better than 2 or 3. 1 is a classic, but also a completely different style of movie - at least 2 through 4, while a step in a more "boom banga-bang" direction than 1, make sense within the franchise.

Rambo wrastlin' with a weird GM man-beast in the arctic does not.

[krakenslayer]

The one thing Rambo had, which was really unrealistic, ballistics wise, was bodies flying all over the place from bullet hits. You literally had bodies flying ten or fifteen feet after being shot with a sniper rifle. Wouldn't happen.

[Mike70]

You literally had bodies flying ten or fifteen feet after being shot with a sniper rifle. Wouldn't happen.

that's easily one of my least favorite things about actiony flicks these days. no firearm on this earth, even a .50 cal, is going to throw someone through the air. completely totally impossible. never can happen, never will happen.

[darth los]

The one thing Rambo had, which was really unrealistic, ballistics wise, was bodies flying all over the place from bullet hits. You literally had bodies flying ten or fifteen feet after being shot with a sniper rifle. Wouldn't happen.


You would think that they would shred at the most but flying, i agree, is over the top.







:cool:

[BillyRay]

Rambo + Running Zombies = This Forum imploding.

[MinionZombie]

Rambo + Running Zombies = This Forum imploding.
:lol:

...

Incidentally, I must re-watch Rambo, cos I don't really recall any "flying" bodies, save for exploisions, or the 'gust of wind' type effect when the odd head got completely blown to smithereens by that tasty 50 cal - surely then, rather than flying, that's just momentum caused by the force of the bullet which exploded their head? :rockbrow:

[Craig]

From what I remember there is a guy that get's knocked off his feet from the .50 cal, or ripped in half... Pretty unrealistic I think, though it's still my favourite Rambo after First Blood.

I don't like this monster idea much, yeah Rambo's never really been realistic, but this is sort of taking it into a whole new genre. Not too bothered though.

EDIT: What happened to the more serious and drama-oriented Rambo sequel that was mentioned?

[MinionZombie]

From what I remember there is a guy that get's knocked off his feet from the .50 cal, or ripped in half... Pretty unrealistic I think, though it's still my favourite Rambo after First Blood.

I don't like this monster idea much, yeah Rambo's never really been realistic, but this is sort of taking it into a whole new genre. Not too bothered though.

EDIT: What happened to the more serious and drama-oriented Rambo sequel that was mentioned?
Over the top, indeed, but it's always been based on something real.

#1 (while not especially OTT in the slightest, especially compared to 2 and 3) was about a war-ravaged Vietnam vet getting a raw deal from his fellow countrymen.
#2 was rescuing POWs from Vietnam.
#3 was Afghanistan ... although ironically, Rambo's fight with the Afghan people led to the Taliban surely...:p
#4 was the Burmese military junta.

Bunging a half-man-half-GM-beast in the Arctic so Rambo and his "buddy" can go kill it is just utterly retarded.

[krakenslayer]

:lol:

...

Incidentally, I must re-watch Rambo, cos I don't really recall any "flying" bodies, save for exploisions, or the 'gust of wind' type effect when the odd head got completely blown to smithereens by that tasty 50 cal - surely then, rather than flying, that's just momentum caused by the force of the bullet which exploded their head? :rockbrow:

This vid contains most of them. Almost all of the sniper kills, except the first one in the clip, are guilty of this.

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Worst offender at 0:50 :D

[MaximusIncredulous]

That draft has got to be a fake. If they green light that, I think a very funny action-comedy will be spawned.

[darth los]

That draft has got to be a fake. If they green light that, I think a very funny action-comedy will be spawned.



Perhaps he's just pitching a treatment for tropic thunder 2? :rolleyes:






:cool:

[MinionZombie]

There's a considerable amount of people simply falling over. You're gonna fall over when you die by a shot from a massive-ass 50 cal sniper rifle. They're not flying yards, they're getting knocked off their feet. There's a huge difference - also, in some instances, the person is stood on a mound or bit of higher ground, so it makes the natural whoosh back from the force of the bullet more accentuated.

However, yes - the two when Rambo covers Julie Benz are OTT. Does it annoy me at all? No, it was fucking hilarious in the cinema (in a "woah, noiiice!" way, I mean). :p

Otherwise, all other examples are totally within the realm of completel plausibility - think about it - if someone gives you a bloody good shove, you'll fall back a similar distance - only in this case, the shove is a giant-ass bullet smashing through your body at goodness knows how many miles an hour.

Only the two at 0:50 in that video are like what you guys are complaining about. :p

[krakenslayer]

There's a considerable amount of people simply falling over. You're gonna fall over when you die by a shot from a massive-ass 50 cal sniper rifle. They're not flying yards, they're getting knocked off their feet. There's a huge difference - also, in some instances, the person is stood on a mound or bit of higher ground, so it makes the natural whoosh back from the force of the bullet more accentuated.

However, yes - the two when Rambo covers Julie Benz are OTT. Does it annoy me at all? No, it was fucking hilarious in the cinema (in a "woah, noiiice!" way, I mean). :p

Otherwise, all other examples are totally within the realm of completel plausibility - think about it - if someone gives you a bloody good shove, you'll fall back a similar distance - only in this case, the shove is a giant-ass bullet smashing through your body at goodness knows how many miles an hour.

Only the two at 0:50 in that video are like what you guys are complaining about. :p

I dunno, on the video there're a whole bunch of gun nuts slagging off the guys flying backwards. Unlike a flat-handed shove, the bullet actually passes straight through you, taking with it most of the force. According to the gun nuts, the force pushing the body of the victim should be less than the recoil experienced by the sniper. When someone is shot dead, 99 times out of 100 they just drop flat to the ground - see the famous footage of the Chinese dissidents being shot in the head (at Tianenmen Square, I think) at point blank range. It's with a much smaller calibre weapon, admittedly, but at point blank range the guy's head doesn't even jar to the side as the bullet passes through...

...this is getting morbid :confused:

But yeah, I doesn't stop it looking cool in Rambo. If war movies were realistic, all we'd see would be guys crouching in mud for hours on end, occasionally dropping dead from stray bullets.

[EvilNed]

According to the laws of physics, equal force is applied to both the sniper AND the victim. If you look at that video, you'll see people being pulled back by wires. Not simply falling over, but yanked backwards several yards. This is completely unrealistic, as in that case the sniper would be yanked backwards with an equal force.

Personally, I enjoy films with a bit of realism because it makes them easier to swallow and it makes the violence for gruesome and engaging. And in a film like this, I could totally do without these unrealistic bendings of physics. Sounds boring? Meh, to me, yanking people backwards with wires is boring. This is a "Hollywood cliché" that I really wished would go away.

[krakenslayer]

According to the laws of physics, equal force is applied to both the sniper AND the victim. If you look at that video, you'll see people being pulled back by wires. Not simply falling over, but yanked backwards several yards. This is completely realistic, as in that case the sniper would be yanked backwards with an equal force.

Yeah, in fact, just slightly less would be applied to the victim because the bullet expends some of its energy flying through the air, and then still has enough left to keep moving after passing through the body.



Personally, I enjoy films with a bit of realism because it makes them easier to swallow and it makes the violence for gruesome and engaging. And in a film like this, I could totally do without these unrealistic bendings of physics. Sounds boring? Meh, to me, yanking people backwards with wires is boring. This is a "Hollywood cliché" that I really wished would go away.

I kinda know what you mean here. Personally, I think it depends on the context of the movie. Obviously a film is allowed to have artistic stylings that defy reality, the same as a poem or a painting - Picasso's paintings are not exactly anatomically correct - because it is an art from. But when those stylings become cliche, or they are done without any artistic merit or do not fit with the overall style of the film, then it's kind of pointless.

Like I said though, I thought the deaths in Rambo were spectacular but silly. I was amused. I understand why others were not, however.

[bassman]

Seems like I remember an episode of Mythbuster in which they tested the "Guy that flies through the air after being shot" myth with some pigs. Obviously they prooved it was all bullshit. But entertaining, anyway...

So yeah.....maybe when this *sigh* "rambo" film bombs horribly Stallone will go back to the first film and see how a REAL film is made. No more superhuman crap like the last three shitty sequels...

[MinionZombie]

Regardless of the bitching, the 0:50 second bit in that clip is the major "flying bodies" part, none of the other clips even compare remotely - it's people falling backwards. It's just those two at that one point who get yanked backwards on wires - fun, but unrealistic - but so what?

Gore wise, which was my main point when talking about ballistics, it's apparently spot-on.

[Mike70]

i'll take realism in movies all day long. though if a movie is a nutty sort of comedy, like the hot shots movies, then having people fly through the air is hilarious and fits right in. otherwise i find it irritating.

[EvilNed]

Regardless of the bitching, the 0:50 second bit in that clip is the major "flying bodies" part, none of the other clips even compare remotely - it's people falling backwards. It's just those two at that one point who get yanked backwards on wires - fun, but unrealistic - but so what?


Uh, I think we viewed the same clip, but pretty much all of them were flying backwards, not falling backwards. If you fall backwards, then your feet should remain where they were, right? These guys flew backwards.

[bassman]

Uh, I think we viewed the same clip, but pretty much all of them were flying backwards, not falling backwards. If you fall backwards, then your feet should remain where they were, right? These guys flew backwards.

It's not flying....It's falling....with style!:p

[EvilNed]

It's not flying....It's falling....with style!:p

Maybe the actors were inept at "falling", so the filmmakers decided to "help" them by yanking them backwards with wires. :lol:

[Doc]

Anyway.....I doubt Stallone has what it takes to pull this off. Looking at his recent "comeback" - Rocky Balboa was okay but just a retread of the first film,

Maybe, it has to do with the fact, that its more mordern so, it appeals more to me but, I consider Rocky 6 the second or third best of the series. With the original being the best and it battling out with Rocky 2 for me.



Rambo was okay in a shut your mind off kind of way but still shit on the original film

I liked that film. I haven't seen the original so, I guess it must be some film if your calling the newer one 'shit'.:stunned:


As, for Rambo 5......Rambo vs. a monster, eh...?

I like it.:p


This is not real right?:http://www.horror-movies.ca/AdvHTML_Upload/rambovsavage.jpg

[mista_mo]

This movie is the most important thing ever created by man.

I wish I were half as manly as Rambo. This is gonna be a short movie by my estimates, as Rambo is gonna tear the monster a new asshole with his fists, while gunning down terrorists with the main cannon from an Abrams tank.

Movie of the year, I can see it.

[MaximusIncredulous]

IMDB has got a different take on this beast business:

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1206885/