(you knew this was coming sooner or later ya bastid!    )
I haven't been here at HPotD anywhere near as long as most, but one of the things that jumped out at me right away is that MZ, for whatever reason, has a way with words that is second to none. So, I decided just for the hell of it to put together some of the most outrageous and hilarious quotes this man (err, ok, "nutcase") has put forth over time. Most of the time, causing me to lose my coffee due to it spraying out of my nose like water from a fire-hydrant!
Before you get worked up and say "geezus, Lou is kissing a mods ass for brownie points" - I assure you that's not the case. If it was anyone else that were putting these quotes out there, i'd be pointing them out too, but it just so happens that MZ is one of those people who just can twist words in just the right way (or, as he says himself, he likes to 'riff on the english language') to not only get their point across, but make you laugh your balls off in the process (or tits - I don't wanna leave the ladies out.  ).
Then again, maybe it's just me and i'm retarded and easily amused (very possible), but c'mon, some people pay good money to see & hear humor like this, and we at HPotD get it for free on a daily basis!
The following quotes were lifted directly off of posts he has made over the past few weeks (sometimes I had to add a word or two here and there in brackets so you could understand the context of the quote), and I have only been collecting them for maybe a day or two, so you can imagine that this is just the very tip of the 'proverbial MZ iceberg.'
Feel free to add any other quotes by this crazy british fooker that made you almost choke on your own tongue from laughter. I know I will be as I come across them 'cause they're way too comical to ignore. I'm starting to realize that I find british humor WAY more funny than american humor. Interesting.. MZ, maybe Dj and I will get you to write us a comedy script sometime, eh?
So, without further lip-jabbing on my part, I present to you...
MinionZombie's "Fantastical List of Confuddlement"!
"You can throw as much "extra" gore in it as you want, like throwing a wedding dress on a lump of dog sh*t - it's still dog sh*t."
"...the 'technical lava lamp' that is Deadlands: The Rising"
"It's my first festival, my room-o-geeks cherry is being popped in November! ha!"
"I'd rather get kicked in the nuts a thousand times before watching Craptagium."
"even if it's just to run an idea by a 'virgin pair of eyes' ... which is an ironic statement in a way, because if you poke me in the eyes they'll bleed."
"I'd equate a corrupted registry to a stroke ... it's not quite the same afterwards and you start thinking it's going to conk out once and for all..."
"Deadlands rocked nuts"
"Nope, the film would still suck irrespective of title. So no matter what, it's gonna be choking copiously on the amount of balls it'll be sucking."
"[I'm] glad it's still rocking people's socks."
"...if you want a silly walk from a borderline on-camera retard then I'm your guy."
"...last I heard he was passed out, face down in a gutter with a used condom up his nose after it floated down the street-water-stream he was lying in..."
"If you get it online from play.com you'll get it for around £15 - hence why internet shopping rocks cock."
"Jesus Christ tap-dancing on the Jay Leno Show!!"
"Oh geez, that show was piss on your balls bad ... seriously sucked, biiiiiiiiig time. I barely made it through half of one episode and gave up to watch something with a bit of substance, like Girls of the Playboy Mansion"
"Day of the Bulgarian Zombie Remake is just a load of penis"
"I would actually rather go to see Tinky Winky's big-gay-handbag on the big screen than listen to shrieking 'zombies' leap around like they're monkies on crack."
"This film is so drowned in old-man-cock"
"I know a good amount about computers, but I'm certainly Scanner-headed by your guys' knowledge!"
"I remember reading about that a while ago, why the hell give [paris hilton] a [xbox] 360!? If she didn't give it away, it's propping up another condom-cupboard in her whore-like boudoir. She'll no doubt get a P$3 for free as well, and then that can prop up her profilatic pantry."
"This film is a seriously huge load of old penis"
"man, livin' without my desktop is like livin' without a mountain of HPOTD on my monogrammed desk!"
"I take it that'd involve getting driven around at one-fifty in the back of a Mustang, being flung back and forth, from side to side as I get high off the fumes from my cheap-ass Wal*Mart zombie mask? Actually, that sounds kinda fun. "
and one of the best examples of his 'english language riffing':
"Room temperature edible nutritious seeds of the Legume family... "
How does he come up with this sh*t?! MZ, you get two fresh thumbs up from this fellow nut. 
As MZ would say, "That's my opinion ... enjoy it bitches!"
**wanders off holding his sides due to the pain inflicted upon his ribcage from so much laughter**
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Originally Posted by DjfunkmasterG
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